


A Promise to Keep

by TrippNessa



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Action, Drama, M/M, Romance, Sexuality, Swearing, Xenophilia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-04
Updated: 2016-12-14
Packaged: 2018-02-16 02:31:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 53,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2252556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrippNessa/pseuds/TrippNessa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It began with a promise - an agreement made between two rivals that no matter what happened, and no matter who won, this single vow would never be broken. How far will they go to honor it? ZaDr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Beta Readers: Vertorm
> 
> Setting: Post series, 10 years (2 years in prologue)
> 
> Author's Note: This fic takes the cancelled episodes into account, especially Mopiness of Doom, 10 Minutes to Doom and The Trial. If you aren't familiar with them then I'd be more than happy to lead you in the right direction. Also, this is your one and only warning that this story is NOT fluff. There will be many sad and upsetting moments throughout this fic, but there will also be many uplifting ones too. What I can promise is that the ultimate ending of this story will be a very happy one! Lastly, in regards to ages, two years passed in the show according to the Jhonen Vasquez wiki. Dib was 11 when the show began and 13 by the time it ended. Gaz was 10-12, and Zim 159-161 (15-16 Irk years, because also according to the wiki, 10 Earth years is 1 Irk year).
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim, though I certainly thank the creators for their amazing work! Invader Zim is the property of Jhonen Vasquez and Nickelodeon, and is not my intellectual property in any way. There is no financial gain made from this, nor will any be sought. The entirety of this story is for entertainment purposes only.

_Post series, 2 years - Dib is 15, Gaz 14 and Zim 163 (16 Irk years)_

The sound of a giant robot crashing against the ground rang out into the night, the once peaceful bliss of sleep now lost to those nearby. Angry curses mingled with energy pistol gunshots, and the furious padding of shoes against cement quickly followed. However, no one bothered rising from their beds. Instead they simply placed a pillow over their heads in hopes of muffling it all out. It's not like this was anything new, and even if it were, they wouldn't have cared anyway.

There was a terrible sound of metal crunching and ripping. Dogs barked and cats ran from the scene as a car alarm began shrieking, its frame quite thoroughly crushed under the weight of something very large.

"Curse you, Dib!" Zim's verbal spat echoed between the buildings as he ran down the street, his Irken uniform tight against his skin as he escaped the wreckage of his once-giant robot. He had his gun pointed behind him and his head was turned around just enough to see where he was aiming. He had his antennas pointed forward though, his wig having fallen off a ways back. Dib recognized the tactic immediately; Zim was using them to warn himself of anything he might be about to run into, so that he could keep focusing his eyes behind him.

Cheating alien.

"Curse _me_?!" Dib exclaimed and shot at Zim from a couple yards back, the energy bolt just barely missing its target. The bottom of his trench coat flew along behind him, which he'd hastily thrown over his blue and white striped pajamas. "You're the one who attacked my house in the middle of the night!"

"Do you have any idea in that mushy brain of yours just how expensive that robot was?!" Zim barked and shot at Dib again. He would have hit him square in the chest had Dib not leapt to the side just in time.

"Nope!" Dib hollered back, quickly closing the distance between them as they ran. "And I really don't care either!"

Zim hissed, his serpentine tongue flicking out of his mouth in irritation. Suddenly his left antenna twitched as he approached a tall building. He quickly pulled out his PAK legs and leapt into the air, pulling himself upward along the side of it.

Dib quickly reached his left hand into one of the many hidden pockets of his trench coat and pulled out his Scaler Gun. It was noticeably larger than the energy pistol, though still able to be wielded with one hand. He pointed it up at the roof of the office building that Zim was climbing and pulled the trigger. A cord shot out, attaching itself firmly to the top of the wall. With another push of a button he was sailing upward. He then aimed the energy pistol in his right hand as steadily as he could, and began shooting.

Zim leapt from side to side with his PAK legs, each blast from Dib's gun blowing off large chunks of the building and causing debris to fall to the ground below. Dib made sure not to shoot if Zim was directly above him for that very reason, and unfortunately, Zim seemed to realize why. He stayed just above him until he was able to leap onto the roof, now out of sight.

Dib prepared himself. Zim would be ready for his approach over the top, but he had another plan. He quickly pushed a button on the Scaler and the cord stopped retracting, his body hanging still against the side of the building, just below the roof's edge. He waited a moment and then pointed the energy pistol toward the large MacMeaties billboard nearby, shooting at it three times.

If this worked then Zim's attention would be over there now, and he could pull himself onto the roof without being shot at. So, as quickly as he could, Dib hoisted himself up and over the edge with his arms. He rolled forward into a somersault and quickly pointed his guns forward once he was back up on his feet.

Zim was nowhere to be found.

Dib's body didn't even have a chance to tense before something slammed against it from behind. It only took him a second to realize that it was Zim, who was now holding Dib's arms down against his sides. The alien's chest was pressed tightly against his back, his arms wrapped around Dib's torso in a tight hold.

"Well, well..." Zim hissed with dark mirth into his ear, causing a shiver to run down Dib's spine and his heart to race in his chest. Zim was the same height as him, which only made him that much more intimidating. "Just as predictable as ever, I see."

Dib threw his head backward and smacked it into Zim's face, wincing at the pain. Zim gasped and his arms loosened just enough for Dib to pull free. He shot the Scaler at a tree in the distance, and once it had connected he pressed the retract button. Zim lunged just in time to grab onto Dib's waist, and the two of them were yanked forward.

Zim reached his PAK legs out at anything nearby, whatever he could grasp onto as they flew toward the tree. Dib wrenched and twisted in Zim's grasp, but couldn't quite shake him off. He couldn't shoot at him either, because Zim had managed to grasp his right arm during the struggle, keeping it pointed away from him. After a few more seconds of struggling and Zim failing at grabbing onto anything, they collided into the tree with a painful 'thud.'

Dib let go of the Scaler and it clattered toward the ground along with him. As he fell, he reached his left arm out desperately toward the branches. His fingers slipped off the wood and his body slid painfully down their length. He could see Zim at the top of the tree, having grasped onto it with his PAK legs easily enough. About halfway down he felt a larger branch run along his hand and he clenched down on it hard, finally stopping his fall and hanging in the air.

Dib looked up at Zim, who was climbing down toward him fast like a spider converging on its prey. He lifted his right arm up, energy pistol still held firmly in his primary hand, found the red, malicious glint of Zim's eyes, and shot.

Zim gasped and he tried to leap away, but wasn't quite fast enough, and the energy bolt hit him square in the face. There was a shriek of pain and his PAK legs let go of the branches. Dib's eyes widened as Zim fell straight toward him, and for a split second he thought to point his left hand toward something in hopes of using the Scaler to pull himself away. However, he'd dropped that gun so that he could grab onto a branch instead, and now had no way of escaping in time.

Tree branches snapped, metal PAK legs slammed against wood and dirt, and pained moans filled the space around them.

Dib blinked his eyes open and found the sky above him. Apparently he'd rolled away from the tree a bit, which was off to his left and in the middle of a field. His energy pistol was on the ground just beside his head, and his Scaler was somewhere at the base of the tree. To the right was an empty playground, and further off he could see the Skool. Right beside him was Zim, who's PAK legs were all bent up or snapped off entirely from the fall. He was lying on his side, facing Dib.

A few moments of silence passed, both of them winded and bruised, until...

"Dick," Dib's single word held no anger, sounding more like a simple statement.

"Zim is no filthy reproductive organ!"

Dib looked over at Zim, and when he saw the dramatically serious expression on his face, he burst into laughter. His mirth echoed loudly into the night, and only a few seconds later, it was joined by another. Zim's laugh was not evil; it held no malice or hidden intentions. It was genuine, and it was a sound that Dib had not heard many times before.

Time passed, the two of them just giggling and laughing at their ridiculous situation. Really it was more Dib's fault, since he'd been the one to blast Zim in the face while he was hanging precariously above him. But then again, Zim had started it in the first place. Coming straight to his house with a giant robot while he was asleep... What a jerk! Not that it had been difficult for Dib to ruin it; Zim's ideas never were. But lately, Dib had noticed a big difference in the alien's plans compared to when he'd first landed.

It used to be that Zim would attack the Earth and Dib would come to the rescue, guns and bravado blazing. Now days, however, Zim took the fight straight to him. Often times his plans would include some sort of mass-Earth-destruction scheme as well, but he always made sure to pick a fight with Dib directly. It had been this way for a while now, though he wasn't sure when it had... No, that wasn't true. He knew _exactly_ when it had begun.

Dib had never been popular or much liked at any point in his life, not even when he was very young. His interests and opinions always wound up being what others considered 'un-cool.' Somehow, through some means or another, it just _always_ ended up that way. But that never stopped him, probably because he had his father's stubbornness. He didn't care what anyone thought of him, even if it meant he'd never have any friends. The only thing he cared about was proving that the paranormal was real, and that he wasn't crazy. Someday... _someday_ he'd show them all.

But like anything that stands tall against a violent storm, there would eventually be chips and cracks in the wall. The armor would start to rust, the tree would start to bend, and the small boy who had been picked on his entire life would finally give in to the desires of others. And Dib did.

He'd announced his resignation as Zim's nemesis to the alien first, having decided to give up on studying the paranormal and defending the Earth. Of course Zim had cackled manically in response, but Dib knew it was what he needed to do. If Zim won because of it, then at least he'd die having finally been someone. His father would respect him as an accomplished scientist, and no more would he have to get beaten up by a psychotic alien just because he tried to protect the very assholes that had made his life miserable since day one. He didn't care what happened to them anymore, he _hated_ them, and he was going to become something _better_.

His father had been proud, and for the first time in Dib's entire life, he'd seen him almost every day. They'd worked together on many fantastic science projects and discoveries, and Dib had even been in the news a few times. It was everything he'd ever wanted...

And yet, this time around, the wall crumbled to the ground, the armor rusted all the way through, and the trees fell over completely. Dib was faced with a harsher storm, one that left him feeling worse than ever before. Being picked on, beaten up, losing to Zim, fighting for people he didn't care about, being told he was crazy because he _really did fucking see Big Foot_... Those problems were nothing in comparison to the sheer loneliness he felt while working with his father. The empty hole that had been ripped through his heart was more painful than any bully or invalidation had ever been; he'd failed his purpose. His basic principle in life, to defend the Earth from evil no matter the cost, and to prove that the paranormal things he'd _seen with his own eyes_ were real... that was who Dib _was_. Yes, it was certainly a hard path to walk at times. He'd found himself beaten and bruised from it far more times than he could count. But it was the path that was true to him, and he'd wandered away from it, down into an empty, barren wasteland instead.

Dib had raced to Zim's house as quickly as he could and thrown open the front door. He probably should have realized that something was up from the fact that the gnomes didn't attack him, but he'd been too focused on other things. What terrible schemes had his enemy created without him around to put a stop to them? As it turned out... there weren't any.

He'd found Zim just sitting on his couch, staring at the TV with magazines strewn all over the floor and his house in complete, disgusting disarray. At first Dib was too surprised and confused to say anything, but he'd quickly realized that all of those magazines, and even the TV reports, were about him. Dib Membrane and his father, two scientists and their achievements. It seemed that Zim had also been left purposeless and empty from Dib's change of pace, and the evidence was plain to see.

So Dib did the only thing he could, and loudly proclaimed himself as Zim's nemesis once again, swearing that he'd expose him as the evil alien menace that he was. Zim's eyes, once empty and glazed over, were almost immediately filled with life again. And just like that, everything had gone back to normal... Except for one very important difference.

Never again had Dib seen true hatred in Zim's face when they fought or argued. Even in the middle of some of their worst moments, all Dib could find in those red eyes was competition and excitement. And if he were being completely honest with himself, he knew it was the same for him. The thrill of the fight, the love of the game... It was the result of realizing that neither of them had much else going for them on this tiny, spitball of a planet. Without each other, there was nothing to look forward to. Dib would no longer have that feisty alien to test his skills against, and Zim would no longer have that defiant human keeping his mission challenging.

It was that very line of thinking that caused Dib to ask a question that would change their lives forever.

"Hey, Zim?" Dib's voice was quiet after they'd finally finished laughing, both looking up at the starry night sky.

"Hmm?" Zim's response was equally quiet, though he did not move to look at him.

"Are you really going to destroy the Earth?"

Zim frowned a bit, which Dib caught from the corner of his eye. Zim seemed to think for a moment, a heavy silence falling between them. Eventually his expression softened though, and Dib knew that he understood what he'd truly been asking. More than wondering about the fate of the Earth, Dib had been inquiring about _them_. After everything that had happened, everything that they'd learned, had their relationship really not changed at all? Were they still just enemies, even when they had come to realize that their lives would be meaningless without the other?

"My mission is the same, Dib," Zim's voice was low, emphasizing its seriousness. "I will not fail or give up on it, not even for you."

Dib felt his eyes soften in sadness. He'd fully expected that answer, though there was still a part of him that hurt to hear it. Maybe he'd hoped too much that somehow they could just... _just_... "Then will you make me a promise?" Dib eventually asked. "From one rival to another?"

At the edge of Dib's vision he saw Zim's lips curl up into a grin; never before had one of them described their relationship as a rivalry. They had always been each other's nemesis or enemy. The difference, however, was that rivals did not hate each other, they just had such opposing purposes and goals that they constantly fought one another. That felt more accurate now, because Dib didn't hate Zim, and he knew that Zim didn't hate him. They could never be friends or allies though, because that meant letting go of the thing that meant the most to them. Zim would never give up on his mission, and Dib would never let him succeed at it. So that left them with their rivalry, and the bitter knowledge that in another life, under different circumstances, maybe things could have been different.

But this wasn't another life, this was here and now, and in this life there were no compromises to be found between them.

"What promise?" Zim asked, still looking upward.

"I never want to live in a universe where the Earth is gone and I'm still alive," Dib began, his eyes glazing over with emotions. "That means I failed and have nothing left. And I never want to watch my own planet burn or be enslaved... so promise me that you won't call the Armada or destroy the Earth unless you've killed me first."

Zim was quiet. He hadn't moved his head, so Dib continued to stare at the sky, waiting patiently for his response. Maybe he was asking too much and Zim would refuse, but he had to ask anyway. He had to _try_. From one rival to another, maybe, just maybe, they could have this one agreement.

After a strangely comfortable silence, and not a short one either, Zim finally spoke, "In return, will you promise to never allow me to be cut open alive?" Zim's voice was very serious. "If you ever deliver me to one of your nasty research groups, will you swear to only give them a corpse?"

Dib finally looked at Zim, and Zim looked back at him. After a moment Dib smiled and nodded, deciding that he'd be willing to promise just about anything to have the reassurance of never seeing his home destroyed. He'd have to already be dead, and then it wouldn't matter anymore.

Zim smiled as well, and they both looked back up at the stars together in silence. It wasn't a full compromise, but it was a start. They'd made an agreement out of their strange respect for one another, and maybe someday, somehow, there could be more. But this was today. Tomorrow things would go back to normal, and they'd be fighting again.

So they stayed there for many hours, just the two of them and their promise.


	2. Incentives

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta Readers: Vertorm

_Post series, 10 years -_ _Dib is 23, Gaz is 22 and Zim is 171 (17 Irk years)_

Zim's grip tightened on the handlebars of his black motorcycle as he pulled back on the throttle. The engine revved and he sped up, now going twenty miles over the freeway's speed limit. It was on days like these that he truly despised that horrible, unmoving sun as it beat down against his skin. Although... he _supposed_ he could appreciate the refreshing air that rushed past him on hot days, especially now that he no longer wore that smothering helmet. He'd refused to put it back on ever since he'd fixed his wig.

A few years ago he'd found a way to keep his hair piece fully attached to his head, having grown quite thoroughly fed up with it falling off all the time. He'd applied a coating to the underside that would stick firmly to his skin. Until he pressed a small button on the underside of the wig by his scalp, which changed the chemical makeup of the coating, the wig could not come off. He still used the same old wig as ever, though a while ago he'd trimmed down the front of it and stopped sleeking it back. Apparently one's appearance went 'out of style _'_ after a certain amount of time, and thus became 'abnormal.' Just like it was 'strange' to wear the same clothes every day. Because of that he was forced to alter the color of his uniform's stripes every once in a while to 'change it up,' today being a red-stripe day.

Stupid, loathsome humans.

Zim could see the downtown city traffic approaching. Once he was at the back of the mass of vehicles, he began maneuvering between cars, trucks and buses, all of which were stopped dead on the road. Angry honks followed behind him as he raced past, illegally driving between lanes and down the shoulder. It was funny how these humans actually thought he cared about their primitive street laws, or of their hideous _feelings_. They were lucky he was even driving a lowly Earth-vehicle at all!

Around the same time that he'd dealt with his wig issues, Zim had decided it was simply too conspicuous to drive the Voot during the daytime anymore. It wasn't often that anyone paid enough attention to notice his ship, but it had happened a few times. One particular incident had even lead to a few FBI agents knocking on his door. Of course he'd managed to confuse them into leaving easily enough, but nevertheless it had put him on edge; if it happened once, it could happen again. Quickly after that he... ' _borrowed_ ' someone's motorcycle. That way if he was going to be stuck on the ground while traveling, at the very least he was going to zip around everyone else. The few times he'd been pulled over for his reckless driving he'd simply used his PAK legs to escape, and then ' _acquired_ ' another motorcycle when he got the chance. Naturally, their attempts to control Zim were nothing but pitiful failures.

Zim glanced down at the small GPS screen that was located between the handlebars of his bike, his own yellow dot quickly approaching the red dot of his target; apparently Dib was somewhere in the city. Well... unless he'd finally discovered the tracking device that Zim had planted in his trench coat about a month ago. He doubted it though, considering how much worthless clutter that human stuffed into his jacket pockets on a daily basis. The Dib was lucky to find _anything_ in that haggard old thing, let alone a tracker that was barely visible to the lowly human eye.

With a sharp turn to the right, Zim soared across three lanes of traffic without looking. He was vaguely aware of the three people he'd cut off, their angry curses filling the sensory nerves of his antennas. He happily ignored them and made his way along the shoulder of the exit ramp, skipping the line and reaching the red light at the end within moments. He probably should have stopped but seeing as he didn't actually care, he instead drove straight into traffic. Tires squealed and humans screamed, two cars crashed into each other and a third swerved into a light post. Zim was fine though, so he kept going.

As he drove the wrong way down a one-way street, keeping his tires lined up along the line between two lanes in quite the practiced fashion, he checked his GPS again. Dib seemed to be down an alleyway for some reason, between a bank and one of those smelly group eating facilities... a _restaurant,_ or whatever it was called. What was that fat-headed moron doing over there anyway? Zim had no desire to be in this part of the city! It smelled of wet dog and human body-grease worse than any other area he'd been forced to endure!

It didn't take long for Zim to reach his destination. Almost immediately he spotted something that made him quickly pull up onto the sidewalk and come to a screeching halt. His eyes narrowed as he inspected the yellow police tape that was blocking off the alley. Refusing to be stopped by something so primitive though, he pushed a button on the left handlebar of his bike to turn on the vehicle's security system. After that he pulled out his PAK legs and quickly scaled the side of the bank, creeping quietly across the rooftop. Even before he peered over the edge and down into the alleyway below, he could hear Dib's frustrated voice floating upward from the ground. However, he suddenly found himself cringing with disgusting when a strong, sour smell surrounded him. He quickly spotted a group of police officers zipping up what Zim recognized as a body bag. Disgusting... Why the Humans would want to keep and bury their dead rather than just disintegrating them, he would never understand.

"I already told you!" Dib's fists were clenched at his sides as he seethed. His black trench coat was almost as disheveled as his light blue shirt, though neither were as bad as his hair. His black boots and pants were the only thing orderly about him, but with the rest of him in such chaotic disarray, they didn't do much to improve his appearance. "This wasn't an accident! If you would just listen for ten seconds, you'd realize how obvious it is that this was a gang shooting!"

"Dib, we really don't need your crazy yelling right now." A man who appeared to be the head police officer rolled his eyes dramatically, his four other teammates working on cleaning up the body and ignoring the exchange entirely. He was an older man with blue eyes and grey hair, standing just a smidge taller than Dib. "We already figured this all out, so-"

"You're the ones who called me," Dib said, cutting him off without a care. His anger was clearly draining away at his patience. "I would have been more than happy to keep sleeping, but _no_ , first thing in the morning I hear, ' _we need you, Dib! It's an emergency!_ ' So I come all the way out here and you won't even listen to me!"

" _I_ didn't call you, the _Sheriff_ did!" replied the leading police officer with an irritated sigh. "If it were up to me, we'd have dealt with this ourselves! We don't need some lost puppy sniffing around the crime scene as though he's trained enough to be here."

"I _am_ trained!" Dib snapped back, throwing his arms up in frustration. "I was an official Crime Scene Investigator before this, and now-!"

"And now you're _not_ ," a glare crept across the officer's face. "Now you're just a freelance investigator, someone who takes random jobs that half the time relate to crap like Bigfoot and aliens. You don't belong here, _kid_ , so why don't you just head home?"

Immediately Dib pointed toward a dumpster further down the alley, "There's a suitcase filled with money behind all that trash!" Then Dib's finger moved to point at the dead body that was finally done being bagged up. "There's a dead guy filled with bullet holes on the ground!" And lastly, he pointed at the police officer himself. "And you _yourself_ found a gun and bullet shells scattered all over the place!" Dib crossed his arms in a huff. "So with all that, are you still trying to tell me that this was an _accident_?! That he _fell_ to his death?!"

Zim found his gaze moving over to the large, green dumpster that Dib had directed the police officer toward. Sure enough, a suit case was lying on the ground and he could easily see the bullet shells that were strewn about the area. Zim snorted quietly to himself. He almost felt bad for Dib, having to deal with such overwhelming stupidity. _Almost_...

Suddenly Zim's left antenna twitched as it picked up movement from nearby on the ground. He focused his eyes for a moment, and then spotted a strange looking human creeping through the shadows along the base of the wall. The slime-maggot, which Zim had firmly decided was this hideous human's new name, had on a black, long-sleeved shirt and dark blue jeans, and his brown hair was very messy. He appeared to be fairly young, maybe twenty five or so in primitive human years. He was staying crouched down and hidden, making his way toward the case of money beside the dumpster.

"Of course he fell to his death!" the police officer grit his teeth. "His head was smashed in!"

"That...!" Dib closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose in disbelief, looking back up at him a few seconds later with a firm glare on his face. "There's blood on the _wall_! Someone clearly slammed his head against the side of the building in addition to shooting him! Think about it for a second. If he'd fallen, then the blood would be on the _ground,_ not the-"

"You don't know what you're talking about! Would you just-!"

"No, you know what, I have a _better_ idea!" Suddenly Dib's voice got condescendingly friendly. "How about I make this _easier_ on you and just _bring_ the case of money over here instead! That way you won't have to think so _overwhelmingly_ hard about it!"

Zim watched as Dib stomped down the alley in a huff, muttering under his breath about _'idiot police offers'_ and how this was exactly why he'd _'left organized investigation in the first place.'_ The slime-maggot had made his way behind the dumpster now, and had the case of money clenched in his left hand. Realizing that someone was approaching, he pulled a switchblade out of his right pant pocket and got ready to attack.

Zim growled; that nasty, sniveling _flesh-mongrel_ was going to try and steal his kill! Only _Zim_ was allowed to kill the Dib, not some filthy, alley... thing-man! The Dib was his property, he even had hundreds of tiny Irken flags planted in his rival's guts as evidence of this. Besides, how pathetic would he look if some random, slithering dirt-human managed to defeat the Dib when he hadn't been able to yet?!

No, no... That was simply unacceptable.

Zim quickly extended his PAK legs and jumped, landing crouched on his feet with his finger tips touching the ground for balance. The mechanical legs had taken the shock of the fall, leaving him unhurt and ready for a fight. He was directly in front of Dib, who had shrieked and fallen backward on his ass. The sound of his rival's fear, coupled with the startled expression on the face of the slime-maggot in front of him caused his lips to twist upward into a devilish smirk. He stood up to his full height, which he was proud to say was _still_ level with the Dib. Being on a planet with significantly lighter gravity for twelve years was most likely the cause of this, though all the growth hormones that were stuffed into the planet's food and water sources had surely provided their own contributions as well. Not that Zim had ever really cared enough to find out for sure. His height was all relative anyway; on Irk he'd be considered tall, while on Earth he was quite unceremoniously average. In fact, upon further inspection, Zim was pretty sure that the slime-maggot was actually a bit taller than him.

All the more reason to punish him.

Within seconds he had his right hand wrapped around the human's neck, who's eyes immediately went wide. Zim lifted him up off the ground and slammed him against the wall, his mechanical legs retracting back into his PAK. The human gagged and kicked his feet, clawing desperately at Zim's arms. Zim hissed in response, letting his tongue snake out of his mouth in the process. A low and quiet cackled rolled out from deep within his throat, his raspy laugh sounding louder in the enclosed alleyway than it normally-

Zim gasped and let go when something hard smacked into the side of his head. The slime-maggot landed with a 'thud' on the ground as Zim spun around to glare at whoever had _dared_ to attack him!

"Zim, stop it!" Dib yelled with his right arm outstretched, having clearly been the rock-throwing culprit. The police officers were staring between the three of them with blank, stupid expressions on their faces. The slime-maggot was now gasping with fear, and had collapsed into a heap on the ground.

" _Pathetic_ human!" Zim stormed over to his rival with clenched fists. "I was just about to destroy that miserable whelp for you, and this is how you repay the _almighty Zim_?!"

"Repay you?!" Dib stammered frantically. "You just _attacked_ someone!"

"Someone hiding behind a dumpster with a knife!" Zim pointed furiously toward the slithering human who was now frozen on the ground in terror. "You would be full of holes like cheddar cheese if not for me!"

"It's _Swiss cheese_ that has holes!" Dib stomped over to the other human and pulled out hand-cuffs from deep within his trench coat, turning him over and shoving him face-first onto the ground. He opened the metal cuffs and began clasping them onto the man's wrists after confiscating his knife. "And you don't need to hurt him!"

"Insolent fool-boy!" Zim yanked the case full of money up off the ground as Dib roughly pulled the man to his feet. "You should have learned by now to neutralize your enemies before they destroy you first! No wonder your species has such a miserable lifespan!"

"Oh don't even start!" Dib shoved the man past the group of confused police officers and over toward the sidewalk where his vehicle was parked. "You can't just use violence as your solution for everything! I don't _care_ if that's how Irkens solve all of their problems!"

Zim growled deep in his throat as he followed after his rival, "Yes, _yes_ , pitiful human, and when you die early in your already laughably fleeting life, just remember in your final, _miserable_ moments all of the amazing things that Zim tried to tell you!"

They reached Dib's black, four door Dodge Charger, which had been modified to have a caged off backseat for when he had to make an arrest like this. He opened the back passenger door on the driver's side and stuffed the man into his car, slamming the door shut behind him as soon as he was inside. Once he seemed satisfied that his prisoner was secured, he turned to face Zim.

"No, I _won't_ remember anything you've said," he began, looking Zim dead in the eyes, "because no matter what happens I'm not going to hurt someone unless I absolutely have to! I don't need anyone's approval for the way I think, and _especially_ not yours!" Dib pulled out his keys and pressed the auto-lock button, his car beeping quietly with a mechanical 'click.' His doors were child-proofed so that the backseat passengers could not open them from the inside.

Zim was about to reply when he saw Dib's eyes glance over at his motorcycle, which was still parked up on the sidewalk. Zim glared, knowing exactly what Dib was thinking before anything had been spoken.

"That's stolen, isn't it?"

"Eh..." Zim trailed off and crossed his arms defiantly. "Of course not! Zim bought his vehicle with his own hard-earned moneys!"

"You don't have a job, Zim," Dib stated flatly, crossing his arms and narrowing his eyes. "So by all means, please explain to me how it is that you bought a motorcycle with ' _hard earned moneys_ ' when you have no source of income."

A silence settled between them, Dib's gaze never leaving Zim's. His eyes were piercing, reading every expression and movement on the Irken's body. Zim blinked slowly, trying his best to come up with a believable lie. He found himself glancing over at the group of police officers, who still seemed dumbfounded at the way the situation had changed. Before he could stop himself, he felt his eyes flash around the nearby buildings before eventually resettling on Dib. With each second that passed, Zim knew his chances of convincing his rival of his story became less and less likely to succeed. So in the end he gave up on that approach entirely.

"You know I'll just steal another one if you take it, right?" Zim let his head cock to the side a bit as he spoke with mock-innocence.

Dib groaned loudly and closed his eyes, rubbing his temples with his finger tips. "I could arrest you for so many reasons by now..."

" _Arrest_ me?!" Zim burst into a fit of laughter, which echoed loudly along the nearby streets. He knew very well that technically speaking, Dib couldn't arrest anyone anymore. Not legally, anyway. And yet for some reason Dib hadn't stopped doing so, not even after he'd left the force. Why that was, Zim didn't really know, nor did he really care. In fact he rather enjoyed it, having decided that it was good for the human to be breaking the rules of this filthy society in some fashion.

"Oh, pitiful, stressed out Dib-thing," Zim smirked. "I think we _both_ know what would happen if you did that." He crossed his arms and turned his face up to the sky with closed eyes, being as condescending as possible. "That's _assuming_ you even managed to capture me in the first place! I wonder... would any part of the prison be left intact after my inevitable escape?"

After a moment or two Zim looked back over at Dib, who had dropped his arms to his sides and was staring up at the sky, as though he was looking for some kind of divine assistance. Zim was pretty sure that he was the only one who had ever caused Dib this much stress. It was something he took pride in!

Eventually Dib looked back down at Zim and snatched the case of money from his hand. "Why are you even here?"

Ah yes, that... Zim wasn't quite sure how he felt about the sudden shift in topic. Between discussing his stolen vehicle and his reason for coming here in the first place, both were about equally unpleasant. In fact, he found himself shifting uncomfortably and glancing around himself without meaning to. His awkwardness was surely plain to see, though he had no choice but to get through it. He'd tried absolutely _everything else,_ after all...

"Yes..." Zim cleared his throat when his voice came out scratchy. "Y-Yes!" That's right, put some strength behind it! _He was Zim_! " _Indeed_ , feeble human, I have come to offer you, ah... a chance to, um... _assist_ me in a most, eh... _amazing_ plot!"

"Don't even think about asking me to help you destroy the Earth, I'm not-!"

"No, no, this has nothing to do with your worthless dirt-ball." Zim shook his head and tried to find the words, cutting Dib off before he could start some overly-dramatic rant about protecting the Earth and whatnot. Zim knew that he just needed to say his thoughts directly, no more getting all... tongue twisted, tied, roped... Whatever it was that those smelly worm-babies called it. "I just thought you might... want to... want to-"

"Would you just say it already?" Dib snapped suddenly. "Quit beating around the bush!"

"Zim is smacking no plants!" Zim immediately grabbed the chance to change the subject. Though to be honest, he really didn't understand the phrase that Dib had just used. Not that he'd ever admit to that, of course. The Dib would never know!

Dib blinked and shook his head with a sigh, turning toward his car. "Alright, well I'm just gonna go then, since you're clearly not going to-"

"I require your computer hacking skills!" Zim blurted out finally and grit his teeth, hating the universe and every single wretched creature inside of it as he did so. Already knowing that Dib wouldn't let him end off there, he continued. "There's an Irken file that I'm trying to decrypt, and I know you've broken through our security many times like the little _filth-sack_ that you are, so..."

"Uh, what was that?" Dib smirked and turned around, leaning against his car and crossing his arms loosely in front of his chest. "Did I _really_ just hear you ask me for _help_?"

"I did not!" Zim immediately snapped, flashing his teeth menacingly as the blow to his ego stung his psyche like a wasp.

"Hmm? What?" Dib put a hand to his ear mockingly, as though he was trying to hear him better. "I can't quite hear you... What were you asking me?"

Zim growled and clenched his fists, his teeth gnashing painfully against each other. Oh how he _despised_ that terrible, _stinking_ human! Dib was going to refuse to do anything on the subject until Zim worded it exactly the way he wanted to hear it, wasn't he? That filthy, miserable _swine_! He hated him, _oh_ how Zim hated him! Why had he even come out here?! He should have just assumed that this would happen and not even bothered in the first place!

Zim took a deep breath... No, no... He had known full well that he'd end up being humiliated like this. And yet, here he was all the same... because as much as he loathed to admit it, he was desperate. He knew that Dib was the only one who could offer any real assistance in this matter.

Roughly three Earth-months ago he'd discovered a strange, heavily encrypted file in his PAK's database. He'd been performing scheduled maintenance on his internal programming when he noticed that something unusual was there. Even after thoroughly scanning the file though, he still had no idea what it was, where it had come from, or how it had gotten there. All he knew was that it had apparently been transferred into his PAK on the same day as his Trial, and that it had been originally created by the Control Brains.

It was many years ago now that he'd been through his Existence Evaluation, where he'd been linked up to the Control Brains and his life had been analyzed for all to see. Somehow this file must have been left behind after the link-up. Why else would there be a file that he didn't have the security clearance to access lost within his memory bank? The Control Brains had experienced some kind of error during their connection with him, so Zim supposed it was possible for something to have accidentally been transferred during the ordeal. Part of him knew that he should call the Tallest and tell them what he'd found, but another part of him wanted to see what it was for himself first. Between the two sides, the curious half had won in the end. Besides, he could always just call the Tallest later... They didn't have to know whether he'd seen it already or not.

The problem was that three months later, Zim still hadn't made a bit of progress on it. The file was just as inaccessible as ever, and now his desperate need to know what was being kept a secret from him had worn him down. It burned terrible holes into his pride just thinking about it! How _dare_ this file make him look incompetent, to the point where he was now having to ask the Dib, his _rival,_ for help! At first he'd refused to even consider it, but now just looking at the file gave him a headache. So he'd transferred it from his PAK and into his base's main computer frame; he couldn't have the Dib tampering around with his PAK should he agree to help, after all.

"I... wouldn't refuse your assistance... if you chose to offer it..." Zim muttered quietly, glaring down at the ground and then back up at Dib's face. "But know this, _human_! I will not permit you to see what is on the file!" Alright, time to offer the incentive that he'd prepared... "If you manage to break through it, I will allow you to explore my base for ten minutes." The Dib didn't have to know that he'd already hidden away everything that he didn't want him to see.

"Alright, I'll come over Saturday morning since I'm off work," Dib grinned and opened his driver's door, plopping down into the seat. "And when I figure out how to decrypt it, I get to look at it with you."

"No, you slithering _rat_!" Zim threw his arms up in aggravation. "I just said you can't see the-!"

"You'd better turn off those stupid yard gnomes before I get there, too," Dib said, ignoring Zim's complaints entirely. "I'll bring my flash drive so I can copy the file. I want it for records."

"Are you even listening?!" Zim grabbed the driver's door before Dib could shut it.

Dib looked up at him, regarding him for a moment. A minute or so passed, Dib's expression softening a bit. "You can't just show up at my job sites like this, Zim. Technically you're a civilian, as... incredibly _stupid_ as that sounds..."

Zim was a bit disoriented by the sudden change of topic and tone of his rival's voice. He blinked and frowned a bit. "I can do whatever I want, little garbage-weasel. No worthless slime-maggot is allowed to kill you before me, especially not over some pitiful Earth moneys! Destroying you is _my_ job. It would be disgraceful for some squealing rodent to end you in a dumpster-alley! How would Zim look then?!"

"Well that's... that's just great, Zim..." Dib shook his head, clearly deciding that none of this was worth trying to make sense of. "Anyway, if you want my help then you're gonna have to let me see that file." It was Dib's turn to smirk now. "I'll come by around nine, and If your gnomes are off then I'll take that to mean you accept those terms. Otherwise you're on your own. I don't what anything else as exchange, so don't even bother asking."

Suddenly Dib yanked on his door and pulled it from Zim's grasp, locking it immediately once it was shut. He quickly started the car after that and backed out toward the street, brown eyes focused on the road. As the vehicle moved past him, Zim made eye contact with the slime-maggot in the backseat. He was giving him a very strange expression, as though he was trying to intimidate him or something. Stupid human, as though he could scare away _the almighty Zim_! Such direct ignorance only pissed him off more!

Zim kicked a rock as the car sped off down the street and out of sight. After that he walked over to his motorcycle and sat down, tapping his fingers against the handlebars. Should he accept the Dib's demands to see the file? He had three days to make a decision... Or maybe he could still trick him somehow.

As he turned his motorcycle toward the main street and began driving, Zim vaguely noticed that the group of police officers were still standing and staring at him blankly, as though their brains hadn't yet kicked back on.


	3. The Catalyst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta Readers: Vertorm

Dib's footsteps were awkwardly loud as he made his way across Zim's walkway. The stillness of the yard gnomes, the lack of noise coming from the house, even the quiet breeze floating through the summer air... it all put Dib's reflexes on edge. He made sure to keep as many of the gnomes in his peripheral vision as possible.

As he moved, the heels of his boots clacked against the pavement with each step. A wrinkled grey shirt with a cartoon green alien on the front became visible as a breeze blew open his trench coat. It was quite clear that he'd simply stuffed his clothes into his dresser drawers without bothering to fold or iron them. Such was his regular routine, as he didn't have the time nor patience to take proper care of his clothing.

Dib quickly found himself frowning. Out of the literal thousands of times that he'd been there, only on a couple occasions had he been able to simply... walk up to Zim's door like this. The years of fighting, dodging and hiding had caused his body to start reacting on its own. It had gotten to the point where he'd already be mid-leap before realizing that he'd even been attacked in the first place. Such thorough conditioning of his instincts was only making it that much harder to act normally in such a clearly hostile location. His body kept twitching from the natural urge to leap behind a bush for cover, or to quickly break in through the window, or _something_ of the sort.

It didn't help that he was also anxious on top of everything else. Assuming this didn't turn out to be some kind of trap, he could very well be close to discovering a top-secret Irken file. There were so many things it could be! But of course, as with anything which involved Zim, it simply wasn't possible for things to go as planned. Something _would_ eventually go wrong, so he'd just have to stay on his guard at all times.

 _'Never get too comfortable around Zim,'_ Dib thought firmly to himself, as he'd been doing for many years now. It was a phrase he used to remind himself to never put too much trust or confidence in the alien, no matter how convincing he may seem. And oddly enough, it hadn't been caused by any sort of betrayal or trickery on Zim's part; Dib was no less guilty of such things, after all. In fact, it was after they'd first made their promise that he'd started using it.

The simple reality was that Zim was Irken, and his mission to the Empire always had been and always would be his top priority. It came before all other things in the universe, including the strange mutual respect that he and Dib had accidentally created over the years. Not that either of them would _ever_ admit to such a thing out loud. Dib was pretty damned sure that Zim would sooner lick a beef patty than acknowledge any sort of friendship between them.

Once Dib reached the door he rapped his knuckles against it, letting the noise cut through his previous train of thought. Once he pulled his hand away however, the unnatural silence returned and made Dib feel even more uncomfortable. If the gnomes had been shut off, then Zim couldn't have forgotten about their arrangement... Besides that, the tracker he'd hidden inside Zim's boot a couple weeks ago had already shown that he was home... so why wasn't he coming to the door? Was he preoccupied? Should he send him a text? Zim _did_ have a cell phone still, after he'd been pressured into being a 'normal teenager with a phone' back in Hi-Skool.

Of course Dib was well aware that Zim didn't pay for it legitimately, but he honestly wanted him to have it. He needed a way to keep up with Zim now that they didn't see each other every day, and this had turned out to be a good way to stay in contact. Zim constantly taunted him with pictures of his 'latest plan,' which most of the time ended up helping Dib thwart said-plan. Because of that, he'd never dug too far into figuring out how exactly Zim was affording the phone without a job to pay for it.

 _'I'm here, you home?'_ Dib sent his text after a minute or two, tapping his foot impatiently as he waited. When nothing happened even after that, he lifted his hand up to knock again. Maybe he just needed to be louder and bang really hard on the-

Suddenly there was a crash from somewhere within the house, Dib's body immediately tensing and backing away from the door. He wasn't able to do much more before it was wrenched open, a wide-eyed Gir standing in the entryway.

"Mary!" the robot shrieked as it lunged forward, eyes squeezed shut and arms wide. "Where you been?!"

Dib gasped and buckled his knees, letting himself drop to the ground in hopes of keeping out of reach. He managed to duck his head down just in time to keep Gir from grabbing his face, but he wasn't quite fast enough to protect his back. He shivered as a pair of cold, metal legs skittered along his spine, all the way up to his head.

Tiny mechanical feet smacked painfully against Dib's skull as Gir spun around in circles, shrieking psychotically all the while. Dib jumped back up to his feet and tried to smack his assailant off, but his arms met nothing but air. Gir leapt about, causing tiny white lights to burst in front of Dib's vision. He staggered backward and clenched his eyes shut as he tried to keep his balance.

"Damn it!" Dib cursed as his patience snapped. He jumped into the air with all of his strength and finally managed to grab one of Gir's feet. Then, once his boots had reconnected with the cement, he threw the robot as hard as he could toward the street.

Gir was catapulted away and crashed loudly into the yard, ripping up dirt and grass as he skidded toward the sidewalk. Dib spun around and sprinted toward the house as quickly as he could. He held his breath as he ran, his boots slipping a bit in the wet dirt along the way. Somehow he was still in one piece as he made it inside and locked the door behind him. His eyes flashed around the room as he searched desperately for a place to hide. It didn't help that his vision was still a bit blurry from all the collisions to his head though, making his chances of finding safety increasingly low.

Sure enough, before he could find a place to retreat, something came crashing in through the window just to his right. Dib jumped and shrieked in surprise, throwing his arms up in front of his face for protection. Not that he needed to, as the object turned out to be a ball of mud that was now splattered all over the giant monkey picture on the opposite wall. However, before he could attempt to make any sense of the new situation, a seemingly endless stream of mud balls were flying through both windows on either side of the door. Crazed robotic squeals followed in from outside, Dib sliding down to the floor and ducking his head behind the safety of his arms and knees. He clenched his eyes shut as glass sprayed all around him.

"Gir!"

Somewhere amongst the chaos, Dib managed to pick up the sound of Zim's furious yell. He looked up just in time to catch a pair of angry red eyes, and immediately his reflexes kicked in. He scrambled up to his feet and ran over to the other side of the room, keeping his arms up defensively in case of a fight. However, his once-pounding heart immediately stopped dead in its tracks when Zim walked right past him, reaching for the doorknob instead.

"Zim, wait-!"

The squelching sound of a mud ball hitting skin filled the living room as soon as the door was opened. A terrible silence followed. The rage that was seeping out of Zim's body was almost palpable; his arms were shaking in the doorway and a seething growl was bubbling up from somewhere deep within his throat. Dib felt his chest immediately fill with an ice-cold dread when he saw Gir fly over and stand right in the center of the entryway.

"Hi!" Gir smiled and waved frantically at his master.

"Gir," Zim said quietly, though there was nothing soft about his voice. "Do you ever want to see another taco again?"

"Yeeeaaah!" Gir's reply was filled with excitement.

"Then get in the isolation room!" Zim pointed fiercely toward the kitchen garbage can, his voice growing louder as he spoke. "You have ten seconds, Gir, or I swear on my Tallest's honor, I will destroy every single taco facility on this monstrosity of a planet _if you don't_!"

"Oh no..." Gir's voice was forlorn as he slunk his way into the kitchen, shoulders slumped and arms hanging low. Once he was out of sight, the living room reverted back into silence.

Dib didn't know what to do or say, so he settled with standing still. Very, _very_ still... not that he didn't think he could put up a fight against Zim, because the last twelve years of his life had certainly proven otherwise. It was more that he had no desire to do so while Zim was this upset. Fighting him under such circumstances was easily the most exhausting activity in the universe.

Zim walked over to the nearby curtains and began scrubbing his face on them. Once he had most of the mud wiped off, he pulled a small spray can out of his pocket, closed his eyes, and unloaded the entire contents onto his face. A few seconds later the can was empty of what Dib assumed was some kind of disinfectant. Zim then turned to face Dib, his skin looking as good as new. Unfortunately, the clearness of his face only made his anger more visible.

"Well?!" Zim snapped suddenly, causing Dib to jump. "Hurry up!"

For a split second Dib felt his eyes narrow as his natural reaction to fight back kicked in. However, it only took a gentle poke from his subconscious mind to remind him of why he was there, and he felt a rare wave of patience wash over him as a result.

 _'Great...'_ Dib thought as he followed quietly after his rival, holding back the many snarky remarks he so-badly wanted to make. _'Now he's in a bad mood...'_ Then again, it was almost funny when he thought about it. He hadn't even managed to get inside the house before something had gone wrong this time.

The two of them proceeded toward the trash can that Gir had previously used, though it no longer functioned in quite the same way. Back when Zim had been smaller, he could actually fit into the tiny waste bin itself. However, that was no longer the case.

Zim lifted the trash can's lid and pushed a button on the underside. As Dib had expected, the nearby kitchen counters all slid away into the walls. However, he wasn't able to stop himself from cringing at the painful, metal-on-metal sound that the cylindrical elevator made as it rose up out of the floor. A large door on the front slid upward after that, Dib following as Zim slipped inside. The lights turned on above them once Zim pressed a button on the inside panel, and they began their quick descent.

Neither of them spoke as they were lowered toward the base. Dib found himself glancing over at Zim cautiously every once in a while. The Irken seemed to be inspecting his uniform shirt for dirt, which had light pink stripes today. Dib still found it hilarious that Zim had taken their peers' ridicule so seriously back in school. What did it matter if he changed his clothes _now_?

The elevator stopped moving after roughly ten seconds, and the door opened up into a long hallway. As Zim lead the way through the snaking interiors of his base, Dib had to squint in order to see anything in the dim red lighting. The metallic smell in the air bothered his noise, but not enough to mention it. All Zim would do was make fun of his 'inferior' sight and smell.

There was a quiet creaking sound from somewhere else in the base which seemed to cause Zim's antennas to twitch. It was then that Dib finally snapped out of his own thoughts and noticed Zim's complete lack of disguise. Not that he was surprised by this, as they weren't going to be doing anything outside. But even so, he found his eyes moving toward the alien's features against his will. He'd managed to accomplish quite a few things throughout the years, but getting to analyze Zim's physical characteristics was not one of them. He had so many questions, but he'd never managed to capture Zim long enough to do an actual study on him, and Zim sure as hell wasn't going to offer himself up for it. Maybe this new data would provide some answers.

Zim soon turned and walked into the largest room that Dib had seen so far, which contained an impressive electronics station. On the opposite wall there was a massive monitor screen with many panels and consoles in front of it. Zim walked up to it and pulled a device out of his pocket which looked similar to a flash-drive, plugging it into the console. Dib tried his best to remain focused, but he quickly found his attention scattering.

All around the room were various Irken lab stations, most electronic in nature but a few containing chemical and biological functions as well. It was amazing! He could learn so much if he could just manage to steal one of these stations!

"Dib!" Zim barked suddenly, "Get over here!"

"Hey!" Dib snapped back, accidentally forgetting his patience and stomping toward him. "Don't yell at me when you're the one who wanted my-!" Dib quickly stopped moving and closed his eyes, taking in a long, deep breath and releasing it slowly. Patience... Just stay patient...

Zim didn't reply, instead choosing to glare down at a smaller console in front of him. The screen sat just below the primary one on the wall, and was roughly the size of a laptop screen. Dib glanced past Zim's shoulder and down at the screen. There was a folder open with a single file inside, titled ' _STATION-6004-CRDS_ ' in Irken characters.

After years of self-teaching, Dib had come to realize that the Irken language was surprisingly simple. Well, the written language, anyway. While he could understand a good portion of the spoken words as well, he simply couldn't pronounce any of it himself. He was pretty certain that it required an Irken's snake-like tongue to do so. Not that it mattered a whole lot since Irkens used universal translators anyway.

"Station 6004... C-R-D-S?" Dib verbally translated the file's title into English. "What does C-R-D-S stand for?"

"Eh..." Zim trailed off, eyes narrowing in thought. "I think it's for _credentials_. The Empire keeps files with statistical information on every station it creates... And curse you for being able to read this!"

"How many stations does the Empire have?" Dib asked, ignoring Zim's comment and proceeding to pace around the room with his arms crossed. It was a habit he'd picked up from his father, which Gaz had been sure to make him well aware of all throughout their childhood.

"Just under six thousand," Zim huffed and looked back down at the file. "And I'm not telling you where any of them are!"

Dib sighed and stopped moving for a moment. The best way to troubleshoot something was to play around with it, so he walked back over to the console. He sat down in the chair in front of it and pressed his finger to the monitor. As he'd correctly assumed, it was a touch-screen. Once he'd made contact with the file, however, it immediately opened up a red flashing box.

' _ERROR: MISSING HOST PRG-NVG_ '

"That's all it does," Zim growled as he tapped his gloved fingertips impatiently over the top of the console. "And it won't give me the option to input a password to gain access! The same thing happens if I try to open it in my PAK."

Dib frowned and found himself tapping the fingers on his right hand against his knee. "No... I don't think this has to do with security access at all. If it needed clearance then it would have asked for it. Voice recognition, retinal scan, password... Whatever." Dib stopped walking and turned to look back over at the screen. "But it's just giving us an error message... Missing host, though? What does that mean?"

Zim breathed an impatient sigh as he looked down at the human, clearly displeased with having to explain things to him. "In Irken, 'hosts' are programs that can load stored data. So in your primitive _human_ culture... Eh... What was it...?" Zim waved his hand around in a circular motion, as though doing so might help him remember. "That program we used to type stupid essays into. Or any of your _hideously_ low-quality image viewing programs. They load saved information, so they are hosts."

"Hmm..." Dib pondered for a moment as he chose to ignore the insults. A second or two later, an idea struck him. "I think we need to figure out what P-R-G and N-V-G stand for first. The file isn't saying it needs security access to function, it's saying it needs to be loaded in the right program... the right 'host,' which is obviously something you haven't tried yet."

Zim blinked and looked at the error message for a few moments, seeming to catch on to what Dib was saying. "P-R-G must mean _program_ ," Zim scratched his head, up between his antennas.

"Alright," Dib tried his best to figure it out, and almost immediately he began thinking out loud. His scattered train of thought caused his words to come out in broken sentences. "Station 6004 C-R-D-S... Credentials... Missing host P-R-G... Program... File needs to be loaded into specific program to work... something to do with N-V-G..."

Before long Dib was fiddling around with Zim's computer, opening various programs and messing with settings. He continued whispering idly to himself as he tried to open the file in any of the various programs installed on Zim's system. He grumbled, however, as each attempt only managed to lead him from one error box to the next. Zim, who was hovering over him, had his antennas pressed flat against the back of his head like a nervous cat. He didn't make a move to stop Dib from fiddling with the console, but he clearly didn't like it.

Dib frowned as a thought occurred to him, and he looked up at Zim. "Hey, how did this file end up in your PAK, anyway?"

"It's a long story," Zim said with a shrug, showing no intention of actually answering the question. "Your puny human mind wouldn't understand."

Dib considered pushing the issue, but when he saw the stubborn expression in Zim's eyes, he decided to grudgingly go back to his work. Zim's attention was immediately back on him and the computer, fearfully watching every key that Dib pressed, and every program that he opened. Just like before however, he seemed desperate enough to let him work at it.

The room fell into a somewhat comfortable silence after a while, which left a strange feeling in Dib's chest. Every nerve and instinct that he'd ingrained into his body were all collectively screaming at him to run or attack, or _something_! He was in Zim's base for crying out loud! He could confiscate so many things and take them home to study! He was using his rival's _primary computer system_! And yet here he was, helping Zim figure out how to read a bunch of stupid space station credentials instead of-

Dib's eyes went wide. CRDS... No, wait... It didn't stand for credentials, it stood for...!

"Coordinates!" Dib gasped and stood up straight, excitement and adrenalin filling his chest immediately. Zim jumped with fright at the sudden noise and movement, but Dib chose to ignore it and instead keep on with his rant. "It's for 'Station 6004 _Coordinates,_ ' not credentials! The file contains the location of an Irken space station!"

Dib spun around and faced Zim, his hands moving around frantically as he hypothesized. "You said there are nearly six thousand of them, right? This one is labeled as number 6004, so it's probably not a station that anyone knows about!"

Zim put his hands over his face and groaned with frustration, "Missing host program N-V-G... Agh, _navigation_! It needs a navigational program to load, that's why I couldn't view it in here or in my PAK interface!" Zim suddenly looked up at the ceiling and glared. " _Computer_!"

The computer sighed, and Dib felt that if it had a face, it would have rolled its eyes dramatically at the same time. "Yeah?"

"Bring the Voot in here," Zim ordered and looked back down at the small monitor. "I need to try opening this file in it!"

With another irritated sigh, the computer did as requested and a portion of the ceiling slid away. The Voot was lowered by a long, mechanical arm and dropped down into the center of the room with a loud 'thud.' The arm was then retracted, and the ceiling slid back into place. Zim pulled the flash drive that contained the file out of the computer console and ran over to the Voot. Once the front panel had opened up, he jumped inside and sat down in the pilot's chair, plugging the drive into the ship's interface.

Dib walked over to the Voot and looked down at the even-smaller monitor screen that Zim was sitting in front of. Unlike when he was a kid, he was now tall enough that he could stand next to it and see everything inside if he wanted to.

Zim was once again tapping his fingers impatiently on a keyboard and glaring down at the screen, which displayed a loading bar at 2% completion. After about thirty seconds, it moved to 3%. Dib leaned his hip up against the side of the Voot. He could see Zim's irritated expression in his peripheral vision, which was undoubtedly due to the slow download.

Soon enough it was quiet in the base as the two of them waited. The awkwardness from before was quickly filling up the space around them.

Dib pulled out his cell phone and began checking his emails in hopes of moving his attention elsewhere. Perhaps him doing something else would help to ease some of Zim's nerves as well. He didn't need to ask to know that the alien was just as uncomfortable with their uncharacteristic teamwork as he was. More importantly though, Dib really didn't want him to start snapping again now that he didn't seem to be in such a bad mood. To anyone else, Zim would probably still seem pissed off about the download, and at Gir from earlier. However, Dib could easily tell that he was just having pride issues over being helped. But even as annoying as Zim was when he was being egotistical, it still wasn't as bad as when he was _actually_ angry.

"Of course the file needed the _wretched_ Voot..." Zim's words were low and quiet, but Dib heard them nonetheless. "The one thing I hadn't tried yet..."

Dib chuckled a bit, choosing not to say anything. Trying to comfort Zim when he was like this would only serve to make his mood significantly worse. No, Dib knew better. When Zim was upset, it was best to simply acknowledge him with a nod or plain silence, or possibly a quiet chuckle. But don't laugh! An outright bout of laughter would only serve to make Zim feel teased or challenged, and then a fight was sure to erupt. That, or blow up painfully in your face with an energy blaster.

"Wait... What?" He found himself trailing off a bit as one of his emails caught his attention. He quickly looked over at Zim, "You know that guy I arrested a few days ago? The one you _attacked_?"

"Hah!" Zim replied with a sudden laugh, clearly happy at the recollection.

"Well apparently he escaped the prison I took him to." Dib sighed and continued scanning over the email. "He tricked a couple of guards into letting him out... Prisoner escapes are becoming more and more frequent these days. When are they going to learn that they need to hire guards that can actually do their job?!"

"It's funny that you think I _care_ , Dib," Zim laughed and looked up at him in the pilot's chair, folding his arms behind his head and leaning back. "I hope the garbage-weasel finds a nice dumpster to crawl into, and then he can live in it like vermin."

As Zim cackled at his own joke, Dib found himself smiling a bit and shaking his head. However, before he could say anything in response, a high pitched 'beep' sounded from the Voot's computer. The download bar jumped from 9% to 100% and the display went black. A few seconds later there was a map covering the screen.

Dib immediately stuffed his phone back into his pocket and leaned over the opened hatch of the Voot so he could see the screen better. From the looks of it, they'd found a map of the universe! On the map were two blinking dots, one red and one blue. Next to the red dot was some Irken text which said 'Earth,' and the blue dot said 'Station 6004.' He'd been right! The file had simply been coordinates for some kind of secret Irken facility! All he needed to do now was-!

That was as far as Dib's train of thought reached before Zim was leaping out of the Voot, spinning him around and shoving him away from the screen. His face collided with the nearest wall and his arms were pressed up against his back before he could even finish gasping. The taste of copper filled his mouth almost as quickly as hot anger flooded his chest. _Never get too comfortable around Zim..._ Dib growled and licked his bottom lip, cringing as it stung as much as his pride did for forgetting the golden rule.

Well, if Zim wanted to play this way then so be it. He could really only blame himself for getting distracted enough that Zim was able to get the upper hand on him, anyway.

Dib didn't waste any more time thinking, instead letting his instincts lead the steel heel of his right boot firmly into Zim's knee. Dib felt a smirk spread across his face when a pained hiss filled his ear, leaving a warm tingle along the back of his neck. The weight against his torso lessened after that, and he knew that was all the distraction he needed.

With practiced speed and precision, Dib spun his body around and let the momentum pull his arms free in the process. However, his smug expression didn't last long when he felt a foot hook around his ankle before he'd stabilized himself from the motion. A pair of red, narrowed eyes were the last thing he saw before the room spun into a blur of random colors. For just a flash of a second everything went white, and a sharp pain shot across the back of his head. _Maybe_ he needed to practice a bit more.

Dib's eyes flew open just in time; he grabbed his foe's wrists before they could get enough leverage to pin him down against the floor. Zim hovered above him, a fierce expression on his face. He didn't look mad, nor did he seem to be in pain. It was almost as though he was... thrilled? At first Dib wasn't sure if that theory was correct, but when their eyes locked, he became certain of its validity. He almost made the mistake of analyzing his opponent for too long, but luckily for him, the blinking red light of the nearby flash drive managed to remind him of why he was even fighting.

Alright, time to think.

He pulled his knees up and then pressed the bottoms of his boots against Zim's chest. After stalling just long enough to watch Zim's eyes widen in realization, Dib shoved him back as hard as he could. He was already back on his feet before Zim had even landed. Such speed was necessary, as he could already see the pink panels of Zim's PAK opening.

With much more successful speed and precision, Dib managed to press his body weight down against Zim's chest with his right knee. As Zim's back smacked against the cement, Dib managed to grab Zim's wrists with his right hand and press them down against the floor above his head. A growl rose up to meet Dib's ears, followed shortly by the clanking sounds of the PAK legs trying unsuccessfully to extend. All they could manage to do was scrape the inside of the panels, as they weren't able to fully open while Zim was being held down.

Zim chuckled after a moment or two of silence. "Not bad, _human_. But you're in _my_ base, and my computer will come to my defense!"

"Well..." Dib trailed off with a small laugh of his own, "That's only if you can _tell it_ to."

Dib quickly covered Zim's mouth with his left hand, and he couldn't quite stop himself from smirking down at him belligerently.

A fierce glare sparked in Zim's eyes just moments before he bit down on Dib's hand, who cringed and sucked in a small hiss of pain. The razor sharp teeth caused his skin to bleed immediately, and although Zim did make a disgusted face from what was most likely the taste of the blood, he didn't let up. Dib refused to relent either, glaring back with equal determination. One of them would lose their resolve eventually, and as much pain as he was in, Dib was almost positive that it would be Zim. He'd always had a low tolerance for bad tastes and germs.

However, moments passed by and Zim had only bitten down harder. Dib's hand was shaking from the effort it took not to wrench it away.

"Little shit..." Dib laughed darkly through gritted teeth, and for a split second he thought he saw the thrill returning to Zim's eyes. Dib tightened his grip on his rival's wrists and felt his heart rate accelerating quickly.

However, a loud buzz suddenly blared through the base, and Dib instinctively looked up. Doing so caused his body weight to shift, and he immediately knew that he'd made a mistake; Zim's teeth let go and he yanked his wrists out of Dib's now-loosened grasp, using his newly freed hands to shove him off. Dib rolled and scrambled to his feet, grabbing onto the outside of the Voot to help pull himself up. However, in the corner of his eye he saw Zim's flash drive.

Dib quickly reached into the Voot and grasped the device in his nearest hand, which unfortunately for him was his injured one. He quickly pulled it out of the ship's console and turned back toward Zim. Hopefully it would just look like he was clenching his fist from pain, and not because he was holding something.

To Dib's relief, Zim seemed far too distracted with spitting the blood out of his mouth and wiping his face off vigorously with his sleeve to pay him much attention. However, once he'd finished with all of that, his eyes moved over to the massive monitor on the main wall just behind Dib, and a look of horror spread across his face. Dib couldn't help but turn around to see what was happening. On the screen read the Irken words ' _Incoming Video Call from The Massive, Initiating in 10 seconds... 9... 8..._ '

Before Dib could ask why the Tallest were randomly calling, he was being shoved toward the wall that the main monitor was mounted to, and then down below the console in front of it.

"Stay down!" Zim hissed angrily as Dib's knees scraped against the cement floor and his head smacked the underside of the console. He rubbed his head and grumbled angrily to himself, only vaguely noticing Zim's footsteps right beside him. He looked up just in time for a bright light to fill the room, Zim standing rigid and at attention right in the middle of it.

"M-My Tallest!" Zim's nervous voice cracked. "How... unexpected!"

"Hey Zim..." came an unenthusiastic sigh from one of the Tallest, displeasure and a strong lack of patience heavily lacing his voice. Dib had managed to intercept and record a good number of video calls between them and Zim over the years, and he was pretty sure that voice belonged to Purple.

"You busy?" Red's voice followed after, sounding a tad less irritated than his partner, though not nearing any real level of concern either.

"Uh..." Zim trailed off and glanced down at Dib for a split second, and then back up at the monitor. "Somewhat... B-But I can pause for a moment, my Tallest! If we could just keep it quick though, that would be best."

"Yeah, quick would _definitely_ be preferable," Purple scoffed irritably.

"You didn't forget we were calling today, did you?" Red asked, sounding confused with Zim's behavior. "I sent you a reminder yesterday! You know, for your..." Red trailed off a bit, and when he spoke again his voice suddenly sounded bitter and strained. " _Invader_ inspection."

"No, of course I didn't forget!" Zim waved his hands frantically, clearly faking remembrance. "It's true that I've been busy, but never too busy for official Invader business!"

Dib could feel the strain in the air, even without a visual reference and only silence coming back through the speakers in response. It had only taken a couple intercepted video calls to become well aware that the Tallest _really_ hated Zim. It was glaringly obvious. In fact, Zim himself should have been smart enough to notice it, too. The problem was that he simply worshiped the Tallest too much to ever acknowledge it.

Now, _why_ it was that the Tallest hated him so much, Dib wasn't sure. Well... besides Zim's general personality. But even that wasn't enough to explain their oddly specified hatred toward him. Not when he was supposedly on a secret mission _for_ them.

"Let's just get this over with, alright?" Red said after the long silence, his voice oddly pleading.

"Yes..." Purple seethed angrily, seeming to have trouble keeping his temper in check. "Let's just finish this _stupid_ Invader inspection, and-"

"This is _ridiculous!_ " a new voice hollered over Purple through the video call, one that Dib didn't recognize. "Why are we still entertaining this moron?! Impending Doom Two ended _years ago_ and he still hasn't taken over that stupid planet!"

"Shut up, Blin!" Zim snapped back defiantly, clenching his fists at his sides. Dib looked up at him, immediately recognizing the look of uncensored hatred upon his face. Realizing that this was going to get very ugly, very fast, he found himself slowly edging away, keeping his back along the wall. Zim surely would have noticed his attempt to escape under normal circumstances, but he was much too preoccupied right now to pay any attention to him.

"I don't take orders from a _Defect_!"

Dib's eyes shot open and he froze mid-crawl when he heard Blin's angry shout through the monitor. Defect... He still didn't know exactly _why_ that word was such a massive button for Zim, other than the fact that it seemed to imply some kind of defective programming within an Irken's PAK. All he really knew for _sure_ was that if you ever wanted to get your guts violently ripped out through your throat, saying that to Zim was a good way to go about it. He'd made the mistake of accusing his brain of being 'defective' once, during one of their many fights a few years back. He'd chosen to stay away from that word ever since, having barely managed to escape his rival's legitimate, seething rage.

Speaking of seething rage, Zim seemed to find his voice right away. "Defect...? _Defect?!_ The Control Brains ruled me as _Affective_! You are nothing, Blin, _nothing_! You have no position in the Armada, you aren't even an Invader, and you've had absolutely no military training! All you've managed to do is pilot a ship like a _Smeet_. You're just a filthy, slithering little _dwarf!_ "

Dib was able to see the giant monitor now. He'd managed to crawl around the room along the walls, and was now near the doorway that lead into the hall. He knew that if he continued, however, he'd end up moving into the view-range of the video call. He really didn't want one of them to point out his escape to Zim, especially with him as furious as he was. Zim's fists were clenched tightly and shaking at his sides, and his teeth were visible through his furious hissing. Dib hadn't seen him like this in quite some time.

"How _dare_ you!" Blin's voice was higher pitched and cracked with anger. Apparently 'dwarf' was another word never to be directed at an Irken unless a fight was desired. "I am one of the tallest crew members on the Massive, which is the most prestigious ship to pilot in the entire universe!"

As Dib took a closer look at the monitor, he could see both Tallest Red and Purple standing at the far sides of the view screen. They were looking behind themselves at a third Irken, who was most likely this 'Blin' person. Blin had stood up from what Dib assumed was the pilot's seat of the Massive, his red eyes narrowed angrily and looking straight between his leaders, at Zim. He wore a red uniform jacket with a very high collar that covered the lower half of his face. His gloves and combat boots were black, though the length of his uniform covered most of his body, including any pants that he may have been wearing.

"And yet you're still just a dwarf compared to _me_ ," Zim sneered spitefully, putting as much condescension into his words as possible. "How does it feel to be shorter than someone you hate, little _Blinsect_?" Zim cackled at his pun. When Blin's face went blank and he blinked in confusion, Zim jumped on the opportunity to explain. "It's almost like your name was _meant_ to be combined with the Earth word for ' _insect_ ', as though you're just as low and squirming as the tiniest of creatures on this mud ball of a planet... Something to be crushed and smeared beneath my boot!"

Dib missed whatever Blin shouted in response over the sound of Zim's harsh, raspy laughter, which rang loudly throughout his base. It bounced off the metal walls, filled the hallways and completely overwhelmed all other sounds. Dib cringed at the volume and turned his head away. He wasn't sure how long it continued on like that, but eventually Red's yelling managed to pierce through Zim's crazed outburst.

"Zim, stop it!" Red waved his arms frantically in front of the screen. Zim forced his laughter down to a chuckle as he looked back up at his Tallest.

"He's completely _nuts_!" Blin hollered loudly from behind Red and pointed at the screen. "Just _look_ at him! You saw his Trial, my Tallest, you were there as well! He was ruled Defective at first and was supposed to be exterminated! Then his faulty, _corrupted PAK_ overwhelmed the Control Brains! _He_ made them change their ruling, but it's not the truth! He's _not_ Affective! He's just so incredibly _Defective_ that even the Control Brains can't control him anymore! He's a danger to the entire Empire, like a virus! He needs to be executed like his original sentence had dictated! He's not supposed to be alive! He's not-!"

"Oh believe me, puny, insignificant Blinsect!" Zim cut off the other Irken before he could finish his rant, his voice low and challenging. "The next time I'm on the Massive, I'll make sure you get the chance to say all of that directly to my _face_ instead of cowering like a slithering worm behind a video screen! Then we shall see who's _truly_ Affective, after I've ripped out your insides and smeared them along the Massive's hull!"

" _Enough_!" Purple slammed his fists down on the console in front of him before Zim could continue, frustration overwhelming him. "That's it! Everyone just _shut up_!" He quickly spun around and faced everyone on the bridge, including Red and Blin. "It doesn't matter what happened, the Control Brains made their final ruling! They declared that Zim was Affective and they made him an official Invader. Whatever he was before that, whoever does or doesn't like it, none of that has anything to do with it! There's _nothing_ that can be done to change it now! The Control Brains have the final say in all things, even if he _should have_ been Defective! So arguing about it is-"

" _I am not Defective_!" Zim suddenly screamed at the top of his lungs and smashed his fist into the smaller monitor that he and Dib had used before. It was immediately shattered into tiny pieces, sparks and debris scattering across the floor. Everything went silent. No one dared to speak or breathe, not even the Tallest. Dib felt his eyes slowly widen with shock as he realized the gravity of the situation. Never in the twelve years that Zim had been on Earth had he seen him direct any amount of anger toward one of the Tallest before. And apparently, neither had they.

Blin slowly took his seat in the pilot's chair as the Massive was filled with the gasps of the other workers. All eyes turned toward the Tallest, who stood frozen in place, staring at the screen. They almost seemed... scared. No, that wasn't right. Dib doubted very seriously that they were afraid of a subject who was probably millions of light years away. It was more as though some kind of mental security had been shattered along with that monitor. Zim was obsessed with them, and because they knew that, they didn't take him even remotely seriously. And yet Zim had just yelled at them with legitimate anger. Whatever safety net they'd firmly placed over their heads, assuring themselves that Zim was just a fool, was starting to tear and it was evident on their faces.

Zim suddenly covered his mouth with both hands and took a few steps back. "M-My Tallest..." He stammered as he dropped to his knees, bowing his head in shame. His voice shook as he continued speaking. "I-I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... I was upset at Blin, not you... _Never_ you... I would never yell at you like that... Please, I will accept any punishment..."

The Tallest slowly looked at one another and then back at Zim, who was visibly shaking on the floor of his base. His antennas were completely flattened against his head, and now that Dib was paying more attention, so were the Tallest's.

"Let's..." Purple cleared his throat, still seeming a bit nervous and unable to find the right words. "Let's just... reschedule this meeting."

"Yes, my Tallest," Zim replied immediately, still bowed down on the floor and not looking up at them. "Whenever you wish to speak again, just let me know. I will drop absolutely anything for you."

"Good," Red seemed to get some firmness into his voice as his antennas raised a bit, though it wasn't entirely convincing. "I'll tell you when we decide on another time."

"Yes, my Tallest," Zim repeated, and before anyone else could say anything further, the view screen went black.

Suddenly Dib felt a freezing cold wave of reality slam up against him. He needed to get the _hell_ out of there before Zim realized that he'd not only seen all of that, but he'd also taken the file a while ago. If Zim attacked him right now, there would be no traces of playfulness like their exchanges usually did. It could very well be a fight for survival, and the dangerous hiss that was escaping Zim's lips only further implied this.

As quietly as he could, Dib snuck around the corner and made it out into the hallway that lead back toward the elevator. He tiptoed at first, wanting to keep his steps as inaudible as possible. Once he'd made it about halfway back to the elevator, he broke out into a full-blown sprint.

For a split second he considered going back and checking on Zim, not really wanting to leave him like that. However, when he heard a horrible smashing sound echo along the walls behind him, as though one of the work stations had been thrown violently against a wall, Dib knew that he'd made the right decision.


	4. Desperate Measures

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta Readers: Vertorm

Zim glared down at the scanner in his left hand. His already volatile patience was becoming dangerously strained as the device failed to scan the properties of the foreign planet as quickly as he'd hoped. His right arm was rigid at his side, and the grip over his energy gun only tightened as the wind picked up. It blew his antennas about, blurring his senses in the process. With a growl he flattened them down against the back of his head, though his smug satisfaction didn't last long; the vindictive wind suddenly picked up and sent a cloud of red dust spiraling into the air. It swirled around Zim's head and rustled his Irken uniform.

Red eyes narrowed into slits as Zim let out an angry hiss. Oh how he wanted to just throw the scanner to the ground, smash it into tiny bits with his boot and...!

Zim took a deep breath, though it didn't help him much. He just needed to focus on something that _wasn't_ pissing him off. Like the convenience of this planet having enough atmosphere that he didn't need to wear a space suit! Or his newest creation against the Dib-beast! Yes, it was truly one of his best ideas ever. He'd created it during the night while the pathetic human was sleeping.

At first glance it was merely a capsule, small in size and unthreatening in appearance. However, upon impact it would explode and render all nearby organic life immobile. Their minds would work normally, but their bodies would become frozen in place. Zim had of course made sure to create the explosive gas in such a way that his own DNA was immune. It would then wear off slowly enough that Zim would have the chance to capture Dib and... tie him up, or something. He hadn't worked out the fine details of his plan yet, but the Dib would be punished! Of that he was certain.

That vile human... not only had he witnessed Zim's outburst against the Tallest, he'd also stolen the coordinates to this place! _Oh_ how the Dib would suffer for his actions! So much suffering! In fact, if his predictions were correct then the sniveling stink-beast should be arriving soon. Zim's tracking device would notify him the moment he was getting close though, so it didn't matter. What he really needed to focus on was getting this atrocious scanner to work properly!

As though sensing the violent urges against it, the scanner suddenly finished its work. Zim quickly looked over the results, his expression darkening more and more with each passing second. After one final glance at the device, he raised his right heel up high and slammed it back down against the ground with a loud 'thud.'

" _Curses!_ " Zim shouted up at the cloudy red sky and thrust his arms down against his sides in quite the dramatic display. Once all the air had been furiously expelled from his lungs, he crossed his arms in a huff and let the gun hang loosely at the ends of his fingertips. He sulked childishly, not caring that it wasn't going to help his situation any. One thing was for sure... This wretched planet could be _damned_!

He'd followed the file's coordinates perfectly, his navigational skills performing as flawlessly as ever. And yet here he was, standing on nothing more than a giant _rock_. Instead of finding a space station, he'd merely found a wasteland of a planet with nothing in its gravitational field; there were no satellites, no defensive weapons, not even an anti-comet gun, and certainly no orbiting stations of any sort. At that point he'd tried landing on the surface in hopes of discovering an Irken base instead. Perhaps _that_ was what the file was trying to lead him to. However, the Voot's scans had not only failed to pick up any life signs, but had also failed to find any traces of technological signatures. This meant that not only were there no intelligent creatures to be found, but also that there never _had_ been! And now to make matters worse, his hand-held scanner had just confirmed that the planet was actually located outside of known Irken space!

So if the Armada had never been to this planet before, and if it was nothing more than an empty, lifeless, rotating husk, then why had the file lead him here? It made no sense!

Zim sighed and looked around the barren expanse some more. Technically he shouldn't be here at all. An Irken was only allowed to enter uncharted space with the Control Brain's strict permission. He could get in _a lot_ of trouble if he was discovered... So he'd have to be very careful, and very quiet.

"Aaagh!" Zim kicked a rock, immediately losing his temper again. So much wasted time... The least thing this damned planet could have done was provide him with some resources or something! He could gather plants for his various chemical experiments, plunder ruins for valuables, use the natural metals for fuel... _Something_! What was he supposed to do with nothing but red rocks and cliffs as far as the eye could see?! Everything was stupid!

Something smacked against his leg, and his attention was drawn back to the present. To his great regret he found Gir twirling around in circles near his feet.

" _Gir!_ Cease that obnoxious spinning!" Zim snapped and began trying to snatch him up off the ground. However, every time his hopes were elevated from the feeling of metal against his fingertips, they came crashing back down into the pit of his stomach as the little robot wiggled free. Zim sputtered furiously, "Gah! Hold- Stop it! Gir... just hold... _I hate you!_ "

Gir suddenly froze and looked up at him, betrayal and despair filling his massive eyes within seconds. "Y-You hate me...?" Gir's voice cracked with emotion as he sat down on the ground, and for a second or two, Zim actually felt bad...

And then Gir began shrieking. Zim closed his eyes and sighed in defeat, his antennas drooping despondently as Gir's hideous wails surrounded him. It sounded as though he was dying a horrible, violent death, and somehow tears were streaming down his face. Zim could feel himself getting more and more stressed out with each strangled gasp of air that was forced between screams.

" _No_ Gir!" Zim finally pleaded, trying to ignore the blow to his ego for having to apologize for anything, ever. "I'm sorry, I don't hate you! Now please, _please_ just _shut up!_ "

"Okay!" Gir immediately stopped crying and smiled brightly up at him, waving both hands frantically in the air. At first Zim was relieved, the lack of noise helping to revitalize his drained energy. However, he quickly found his emotions shifting into confusion instead. It wasn't Gir's random jump from chaotically upset to disgustingly happy in a matter of seconds that had caused the change. No, he was unfortunately _very_ used to that by now. It was more the fact that Gir wasn't looking at him. His eyes were focused on something just behind him as he waved, as though there was someone else there...

Before Zim could turn around, something that felt suspiciously like the barrel of a gun was pressed up against the back of his head.

"You know," Dib's smug voice floated over Zim's shoulder. "If there's one thing can be said about you, it's that you are _the easiest_ creature in the universe to follow."

At first Zim inwardly cursed his tracking device for failing to warn him of Dib's approach. It had worked just a few days ago in that smelly alley, so why wouldn't it now?! However, he quickly realized that he could hear it beeping from within his pocket. Apparently it _had_ been notifying him, but he hadn't been able to hear it over the scene that Gir had been making. That infuriating robot...

"Actually," Dib continued after a momentary pause. "I think you're physically incapable of being quiet for more than a few seconds."

Zim scoffed and turned just enough to get the human into his vastly superior peripheral vision. For just a moment he thought there was something he had intended to do once the Dib had arrived. However, he found himself wanting to counter his rival's _horribly inaccurate_ remarks a lot more. "Well human, whether that's true or not- _but know that it isn't!_ At least my head isn't larger than the rest of my body combined!"

" _Literally_ a few seconds at most," Dib continued without responding to Zim at all. "Maybe five seconds if I'm being nice."

"It's amazing that you can even count all the way up to five with a head that empty!" Zim laughed and twirled the gun around on his finger tip, hoping to provoke Dib into making a mistake.

"I mean, maybe if you hadn't been screaming like a _'dirt-child,'_ you'd have seen me coming!" Dib didn't appear to take the bait though, merely laughing in return.

"One could get lost in that endless void of- _it was Gir who was screaming!_ " Zim snapped and spun around when he realized where the blame should be going, all previous thoughts lost to him. Immediately he found himself face to face with an energy gun. _His_ energy gun! It was the one that Dib had stolen from his base months ago! But that could be addressed later... He had to defend his amazingness! "And had it not been for _Gir_ , I would have seen you coming on my tracker, you slithering _filth-sack_!"

"Tracker...?" Dib blinked a bit, finally seeming to get serious as his expression stiffened.

Zim took a step back, looking around while trying to think of a way to cover up his accidental outburst.

"Whoa, whoa, woah... _wait_ ," Dib took a step back himself, and then began frantically looking himself over. "You have a tracker on me?!"

Deciding to just roll with it, Zim crossed his arms smugly and grinned. "Yes you feeble, _unaware_ little human, I do! I hid it inside the lining of your disgusting jacket, but you'll _never_ find it!"

"You just told me where it is!" Dib sputtered incredulously, throwing his arms up in disbelief. "And the joke's on you, _dumbass_! I hid a tracker in one of your boots two weeks ago! I could have found you even without all the noise!"

With a growl, Zim dropped to his heels and began feeling around both the inside and outside of his shoes. A few moments later he found a small piece of metal stuck to the underside of his left boot, lodged right up in the gap beside his heel. It was in the perfect spot where it wouldn't get stepped on while he walked, but also wasn't in a visible location. And since it was on the outside, he would never have felt it against his skin. That little...

Dib had spent this time patting down his jacket along the bottom hem. However, he was clearly having less luck; locating a tiny shard of metal inside the lining of his trench coat was going to require a lot more time. So eventually, when his patience seemed to run out, he simply tore it off and threw it to the ground in a huff. All that left him with was the red 'Mysterious Mysteries' shirt he'd had on underneath.

"Whatever!" Dib fumed and clenched his fists indignantly. "This is exactly why I have to keep spare jackets everywhere! I've wasted so much money because of you!"

Zim stood back up fully and glared. "Good! Maybe after changing it you'll go a whole month without smelling like dookie!"

Dib gave an exaggerated eye-roll, "Really... dookie? Has your maturity _still_ not managed to get out of Elementary Skool?"

"Shut your face!" Zim hollered and pointed frantically. "You don't know what you're-! Agh... _You_!" Zim growled furiously as he recalled his original plan, and why he'd even made that freezing capsule in the first place. "You think your stupid remarks of _inaccuracy_ are going to make me forget what you did in my base?! Eavesdropping little _thief_!"

For a second or two Dib seemed confused with the sudden topic change. Then his lips curled up into a smirk. "Well it worked for a little bit, didn't it?"

Zim was just about to reply when a loud buzzing sound filled the space around them. Something very large was moving off in the distance, just behind a fairly tall hill. Both Zim and Dib turned just in time to see a space ship take off and fly away, breaking through the atmosphere and then disappearing. Zim had only seen it for a moment, but it had been enough to catch the glint of an Irken symbol along the side of the hull. The shape of the ship itself resembled that of a transportation vessel; specifically one that carried highly classified contents for only the highest in the Empire to see.

Suddenly Dib took off running toward the hill in a blur of motion. With a growl and a loud curse, Zim deployed his mechanical legs and bolted after him. At the same time he put his energy gun back in his PAK so he could try and grab the human if he got the chance. He couldn't let Dib find whatever was over there! It was his duty to protect his Empire's secrets!

Zim felt the sting of sharp wind against his skin as he gained momentum. However, it became apparent very quickly that the wretched human had invented some sort of running enhancements for his boots. Zim was now chasing at top speed, his eyes nearly closed all the way from the sand that was twirling around in the air, but it wasn't quite enough. Even as they came upon sharp rocks and steep cliffs, Dib managed to leap over the ground and shoot up the rock walls with his scaling gun-thing. It was infuriating!

But more importantly, how could there have been a ship out here in the first place? He'd scanned the planet while in the Voot _and_ with his hand-held device, and both times he'd found no traces of technology. Did the empire have a way to mask their electronic signatures that he wasn't aware of? Why hadn't this been shown to him during his Invader training?

Soon enough they were cresting over the large hill and sliding down the other side. Dib's boots kept him levitated just above ground level, and Zim's PAK legs did most of the running work. A massive gray, two-storied Irken facility at the base of the hill was now plain to see. There were many of the same transportation ships as the one that had flown away surrounding it. With his enhanced vision, Zim could also see Irken workers carrying containers from them and into the large building.

He had to stop Dib! The damned human had probably been just as unsuccessful as Zim at finding any signs of activity on this planet, at least until that ship had taken off. He couldn't allow Irken secrets to fall into his hands because of that! He also couldn't get caught here, not when he didn't have the proper clearance!

Using all of his PAK legs' strength, Zim leapt forward. With both gravity and a higher vantage point to his advantage, he sailed forward and felt his boots connect firmly with Dib's back. The human gave a loud, startled gasp as Zim's momentum and body weight sent him down into the dirt. Dib was forced to use his arms to protect his head instead of fighting back, so Zim grabbed the boy's shoulders and tried to hold on as tightly as possible. His hope had been to bring Dib to a sliding halt before they reached the facility. However, the ground was steep enough that they began to roll instead.

Before Zim even had a chance to react, the sound of his PAK legs snapping and breaking off accompanied the sudden rush of wind to his face. Everything began spinning as the world jerked to the right, and soon enough more than just air was slamming up against him. Sharp rocks and sand scraped painfully against his body and the bitter taste of his own blood filled his mouth. He reached his hands out in a desperate attempt to grab onto something and slow his fall. However, every time he felt his fingers grab onto something, his forward momentum proved to be much stronger as the object was yanked out of his grasp.

He thought he heard Dib make a pained sound from somewhere nearby, but it was hard to make it out against the muffled sounds of the ground rolling against his head. Especially with his antennas now flattened firmly against his skull. So, without anything else left to try, Zim simply clenched his eyes shut, covered his head with his arms, and curled his knees up against his chest.

Any remaining hopes of eventually slowing down enough to get up safely were crushed along with the back of his head as he slammed up against the side of the facility. Zim groaned, still feeling as though he was spinning even though his body had stopped moving. He was laying on his right side with his arms still wrapped around his head protectively. For a few more moments he tried to gather himself, slowly rolling onto his hands and knees. However, it wasn't until he heard a terrible coughing sound from just ahead of him that he really snapped out of it.

Dib!

He grabbed onto the nearby wall and forced himself up to his feet. His PAK was only just starting to repair the damages to his body and balance to his head. Everything was moving, but there was one thing that stood out. Something with a red shirt and black pants... Dib! Not only was he blurring from left to right, he was also darting forward along the side of the Irken facility. The bottom of the hill was just to his left, with little space between it and the building.

Damn that Dib... He'd already started running again! Zim wasn't surprised; his rival was smart, to his immense displeasure. Dib knew by now that Irkens healed very quickly, and that Zim would surely be upon him long before his own primitive body had repaired itself. Clearly he'd gotten up and started running in a random direction in hopes of putting some distance between them while he regained his senses.

Zim's vision was now clear, and knowing that Dib's wasn't yet, he took off after him. His breathing became labored as his feet hit the dirt hard, trying his best to keep up. Unfortunately his body's quicker healing rate didn't seem to be helping much, as Dib's enhanced boots made him much faster on the ground. Zim had only kept pace with him before because of his PAK legs. So when the human suddenly slowed down and skidded to a halt, Zim frowned in confusion. What was that stupid earthling doing, giving him room to catch up like this? Had the fall damaged his brain more than usual?

Before Zim could figure out what was going on, Dib had turned around entirely and was running back the way he came. Zim readied himself to try and grab the human as he passed by, until movement caught his eye from further up ahead. A shadow was approaching from around the corner of the building. Zim's eyes widened and his breath caught in his throat, his body freezing for a moment. No, no! He couldn't get caught out here! He'd be in major trouble with the Tallest for sure!

Zim spun around and ran back as well, Dib having only just passed him while he'd been distracted. He needed to get them both out of sight! Maybe if they jumped behind the rocks? No, they were too far away now. Could he leap on top of the building with his PAK legs? If so, could he do so while carrying Dib? Curse it all, he needed a plan and he needed it now! Faster, he had to think faster! He had to-!

Once again Dib stopped dead in his tracks, and Zim had to jerk his body to the right to stop them from colliding right into each other. He stumbled past, cursing under his breath and spinning around on the heels of his boots. To _hell_ with it, he'd just have to grab that moronic dirt-monkey and jump as high as he-!

To Zim's surprise, he turned to find that not only had Dib discovered a door hidden along the side of the wall, but that the boy was already halfway through it. Zim wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. Should he try to stop him from going inside? He didn't want Dib to find whatever secrets were in there... However, as there wasn't any time left or anywhere else to go before that Irken scout rounded the corner, Zim instead found himself racing inside after him.

Zim was plunged into darkness the moment he slipped through the door, shutting it quickly and quietly behind himself. His lack of vision only lasted a second at most though, as his ocular implants immediately adjusted to his surroundings. He looked around and quickly spotted Dib, who's primitive monkey eyes were clearly having more difficulty with the lack of light; he had a hand pressed against the wall for support and was squinting to try and see anything.

Now that Zim wasn't afraid of Dib escaping easily, he took the time to look around at where they'd ended up. They were obviously inside some kind of storage room, based on the rows of stacked crates that nearly reached the ceiling. In fact, they appeared to be the same ones that he'd seen the workers outside carrying in from the ships. His curiosity immediately tugged at him, demanding that he open one of the boxes and see what was inside. Whatever this facility was doing, it was clearly top secret if they'd gone to the trouble of masking their activities so well. At the same time though, his conscience was scolding him for even considering it. If he wasn't supposed to see what was in here, then he shouldn't go snooping around! But if he didn't get caught, then who really cared anyway? Maybe just a peek...

Suddenly Zim became horribly aware of fact that Dib wasn't next to him anymore. That stinking, vile, overly-curious human!

Zim darted further into the room, weaving around the tall columns of crates and looking around for wherever Dib might have run off to. No more thoughts about discovering the contents of those packages! He needed to get that little wretch out of here first, which was his top priority before anything else! Irken secrets were at risk as long as Dib was inside this facility! It shouldn't be too hard to secure him anyway, since he could barely see anything around them.

The sound of a new door creaking open at the other side of the room echoed loudly in the silence, immediately accompanied by a flash of light along the far wall. Dib hadn't just...?! Oh that _stupid_ human!

With a growl, Zim sprinted over to the much larger door than the first one they'd entered through, pulling it open with a lot more aggression than was necessary. It creaked loudly this time and Zim cringed, hoping that he hadn't just tipped someone off to their presence. He still didn't hear anything, but he was pretty sure he'd caught Dib's lingering scent and could hear his footsteps not too far away. So without further delay, Zim stepped into the much more brightly-lit room.

He'd intended to quickly inspect his surroundings before following Dib's trail, but instead Zim found himself paralyzed at the sight before him, both mentally and physically. The little storage room behind him had been small, filled with nothing too unusual. This room, however, was massive and it was filled with something entirely different; Irken bodies were strewn about, some laying on tables while others hung all along the towering white pillars that stretched from floor to ceiling. Some were even fastened to the walls themselves. None of them had PAKs though, and none of them seemed to be conscious.

The room itself was dark, though not so much that Zim couldn't see clearly. There appeared to be roughly twenty of the Irken-covered pillars, and next to each one stood some kind of electronics station. There was a touch-screen monitor at each, based on the model, as well as a large panel with various buttons in front of it and a chair to sit in. On the other side of each of these pillars was another station, thought these were clearly designed for experimentation. Shelves with various liquids and chemicals sat beneath a large work table, as well as all sorts of awful looking tools.

Zim was too confused to move. All thoughts of Dib were chased away, along with multiple shades of green from his skin. If these Irkens had no PAKs then did that mean they were... dead? Was this some kind of Smeetry? No... These Irkens were all adults, a few of which were even quite tall. Smeets were babies, and they were the only things produced inside of Smeetries as far as he was aware. There shouldn't be rows of fully grown Irkens inside of one. So... what _was_ this?

Without intending to, he slowly started backing up into the storage room. His legs were moving on their own, his eyes still flashing around the hundreds of Irken bodies. It wasn't often that he felt scared, but even he couldn't deny the ice-cold feeling that was quickly filling his chest. He really, _really_ didn't want to be here anymore...

His back hit something without warning, and he spun around with a startled gasp. His PAK legs came out on their own, a built-in defensive measure for when he was possibly in danger. Seeing that he'd only stumbled into one of the creates should have made him feel better, but he found it only freezing his insides even more. These crates... He was pretty sure he knew what was inside them now.

Slowly, with a shaking hand, Zim reached for the nearest crate in front of him. When he felt his fingers hook around the underside of the lid, he froze up again and clenched his eyes shut. For quite possibly the first time in his entire life, he didn't want to be right. But more than that, he needed to know. He just needed to know... So with a deep breath, he yanked up on the lid and stared inside the box, his body tensing up immediately.

PAKs, five to be exact. But that wasn't what caused the rush of emotions to seep inside Zim's body, filling him with a terrible dread. It was more the jagged, ripped up cords attached to the back of them, dried Irken blood still present and unclean. They'd been forcefully torn away from the host body, probably while they were still alive. It was torture, mutilation even! An Irken's PAK was their life, their mind and soul. It _was_ the Irken! To have it ripped off was no different from tearing a human's head off, and then packing the head inside of a crate...

Zim shoved the lid back down and felt nausea quickly filling his gut. He placed his hands on either side of the crate and tried to steady himself. He needed to calm down. His attention was too scattered, he'd end up getting caught at this rate. That, or...

Dib!

With a curse Zim raced back into the larger room, leaving the door open behind him as he left the storage space. He looked around wildly, gritting his teeth as he tried to pick up Dib's scent again. There were so many other smells in the room though, most of them Irken or mechanical. He'd wasted too much time...

A terrible, gripping fear was quickly seeping into everything he had. His legs, arms, chest, even his PAK... It all shook as his worst nightmare stared him right in the face. Defectives... that's what these Irkens were. He'd heard rumors of what happened to those labeled Defective from others during training. Some said that they were simply disintegrated on the spot, while others said that their bodies were fed to various monsters, and their PAKs thrown away. No one really knew for sure. But, this? Why _this_? Why would the Empire keep their bodies and PAKs after killing them? Why would they tear them apart like that at all? Even if they were Defective, they didn't deserve this kind of fate.

Zim had only been separated from his PAK once, when Dib had accidentally disconnected it from him. He'd desperately tried to retrieve it, knowing that he could only survive for ten minutes without it. His life had slowly drained away during that time, until he had little to nothing left of his mind remaining. He'd been lucky to survive the encounter, and he'd never wish the same experience on another Irken. It had felt as if everything that made Zim who he was had leaked away, until he was nothing but an empty husk. But these Irkens had been forced through something even worse than that. They'd been violently ripped away from their PAK, based on how torn up and covered in gore the cables were, and then hung up for all to see. Was the Empire using their bodies for something?

Worst of all though, this had almost been Zim's fate. If he hadn't managed to change the Control Brain's minds during his Trial...

A loud mechanical noise suddenly filled the massive room, starling Zim and causing him to spin around in place. It sounded as though one of those Earth-garage-doors was being opened. Sure enough, when he looked around for the source of the strange sound, he was horrified to find that there was indeed a very large door. One that was raising up from floor to ceiling, opening into some other room inside the facility. Someone was coming inside!

Zim's antennas twitched when he heard a quiet intake of breath from not too far away. His eyes widened in recognition; that was Dib for sure. He froze and listened carefully, until he heard light footsteps moving back toward the storage room. Unfortunately, the way Dib was walking would put him right out in plain sight.

With newfound purpose, Zim sprinted after the noise that he was almost certain was Dib walking out into view. After weaving around only a couple of the large pillars, he found the human sneaking back toward the room they'd entered from. Zim didn't dare look back at the huge, still-raising doorway behind them. Instead he snatched Dib's left wrist and pulled him behind one of the pillars and out of sight.

"Are you completely _stupid_?!" Zim seethed at a whisper, gripping the boy's arm as tightly as he could just in case he tried to yank away. "You'll get us both caught!"

"Zim, look!" Dib pointed wildly over Zim's shoulder with his free arm, eyes wide with curiosity.

"No, you brainless meat-sack!" Zim hissed furiously, and by some feat of strength, managed to keep his voice down while doing so. "Do you have any idea how much trouble we're in right now?!"

"Damn it, Zim!" Dib's voice hissed back. " _Look_!"

Zim gasped as the boy grabbed his shoulders and spun him around. He didn't need to ask what he was supposed to be looking at, as an Irken was being taken down from one of the large pillars. A long mechanical arm, which had descended from a slot in the ceiling, had wrapped itself around the Irken's body. A second arm came down to connect a PAK to their back. Zim felt his stomach lurch with confusion when the Irken starting coming to consciousness, still suspended in the air by the arm.

At first the Irken gasped and looked around wildly, as though awakening from a terrible dream. Irkens didn't dream though, and Zim found himself theorizing that it was actually whatever terrible experience they had been put through before their PAK had been removed that was startling them.

The arm quickly moved the now-struggling Irken's body over to one of the tables, while the second arm strapped it down with tight chains. After reaching down below the table to pat its fingers in one of the strange containers, the first hand began rubbing some kind of gel over the captured Irken's skin. At first nothing happened, Zim frowning and feeling even more confused than ever, until all of a sudden the Irken began screaming and writhing around on the table. Zim jumped in surprised from the sudden noise, the captured Irken's skin sizzling and dissolving, smoke rising up from the wounds.

Zim didn't know what to do, his arms gripping at his head from intense indecision. He needed to leave! Every bit of his gut instinct was screaming at him to get out... But for some reason, he couldn't move. That Irken was a fellow Invader, he could tell from the uniform they were wearing. They must have failed their mission to have been brought to a place like this, so they deserved punishment, didn't they? But... this? This just wasn't right, no fellow Irken deserved this.

The mechanical arms turned the Irken over and began tearing the PAK back out. Zim clenched his eyes shut when the Irken victim began shrieking louder than before. Zim knew that he shouldn't help. No, he simply _couldn't_ help! It was against the rules! He was already in trouble, the Tallest would find out for sure!

Before Zim could make up his mind, Dib had suddenly shoved him down below a nearby electronic console. Approaching footsteps stopped Zim from yelling at the human for his actions, and instead caused him to once again freeze up. This was bad.

Zim held his knees tightly against his chest as two shadows passed by, one the relative shape of an Irken, and the other... something else entirely. It was very large and had a round body, with strangely thin legs. Its arms were also very thin, with what appeared to be huge hands...? Must be some kind of slave-monster.

In the corner of his eye Zim thought he saw Dib reach up and grab something from on top of the console and shove it into his pocket, but he was too preoccupied with other things to confront him about that right now. Instead, after waiting for the unseen-footsteps to disappear, he grabbed Dib's arm and began pulling him forcefully back toward the storage room. Dib didn't seem to protest this time, quietly allowing himself to be lead away. Zim couldn't deny that he was extremely relieved by this.

"Do you think we should initiate a Purge in here, just in case?" the Irken that had passed by spoke as they ran quietly away from them. That language... it was very fluent Irken, without a translator. Zim could always tell when someone was actually speaking the language or when a device was doing it for them.

"Yes, definitely," the strange monster replied with the same natural fluency, though it's voice was very deep and echoed in a mechanical sort of way. It didn't sound Irken, or even organic at all. "There was a report of strange sounds outside, and it may have snuck in here."

"Understood, Control Brain" the first voice agreed. Zim found himself slowing down a bit and looking back. Control Brain...? How could that be a Control Brain? They were just large computer consoles, but this was clearly a creature of some kind. Something else was bothering him, as they weaved between pillars and panels while trying to keep out of sight. A Purge... that sounded familiar. He couldn't quite place it, but he was pretty sure it meant...

Gas!

At the same time that Zim remembered what he was trying to think of, a thick green gas began filling the room. Purging Gas... It would stun an Irken upon contact, rendering them completely motionless, while simply killing anything else. It was used in situations like these, when an area might have an enemy hiding inside. If the intruder was Irken then they wouldn't be killed, and could be brought forth for questioning. If it was anything else, well... who cared?

The gas began pooling behind them, large, thick green clouds filling every nook and cranny at an alarming rate. At the same time there was a terribly sour smell filling the room, causing Zim to gag and cringe. He was about to look back ahead when his eyes caught a glimpse of the hideous creature with the robotic voice behind them, standing beside a normal looking Irken.

The creature's body appeared to be that of a giant gray brain, with two narrow red eyes in the front and a thin frown for a mouth. Two thin, metal cords were protruding below its body, appearing to function as legs. They were so thin that it seemed impossible for the creature to support itself on them, and yet it was clearly doing so just fine. Two more of these cords were coming out of the sides of its body on either end, where arms might have been placed. At the ends of the cords, instead of hands there were smaller versions of this creature's body; two tiny brains, one on each arm and both with angry red eyes glared back at him. They didn't have limbs, and their bodies were red instead of gray like the main body, but the similarity was there.

That... that _thing_ was a _Control Brain_?! How?!

Zim didn't know if it had seen him or not, but he wasn't about to wait to find out. Having made the mistake of slowing down before to look back, he quickly picked his pace back up. He was sprinting as quickly as he could without the use of his PAK legs, the storage room door just ahead. Once he reached it, he let go of Dib and yanked it open, throwing it back against the wall. However, just before he could make it through the doorway, a terrible stinging sensation spread up his back. Zim hissed and stumbled forward, landing on his hands and knees next to the first row of crates.

The gas had hit him for a moment, but he wasn't doing too badly. He just needed to get back up before more of it came inside, and he-

A pained moan filled the hearing sensors on the sides of his head and in his antennas, followed by gasping and a terrible choking sound. Dib... he was still in there!

Zim turned around and gasped as the green smoke had begun pooling inside the storage area now, having nearly reached him already. He jumped to his feet and began backing away, staring at the doorway in a panic. He needed to get out of his place, it was evil! But Dib hadn't gotten out yet! But no, _no_! He just needed to run and get out of here, forget the stupid human! It was his own damned fault for coming here when he knew he shouldn't!

Zim clenched his eyes shut as his chest tightened up in the same way it had before, only now he was having trouble breathing too. He was vaguely aware that he'd started panting, and that his hands were sweating. He didn't care... He didn't care about the Dib-beast! He just needed to turn around and run, get out of here! He wouldn't get caught, and with Dib out of the way he could just take the Earth like he was supposed to!

"Dib!" Zim yelled without meaning to, his heart racing in his chest. "Dib, get out of there! _Get up right now_!"

His arms were shaking as he forced air into his chest from hyperventilation. But... but to just let him die, and to die like _this_... Where was the honor in it? He'd... He'd promised himself and Dib that he'd be the one to kill him! But the Empire, his mission... His promise to Dib, he...!

A terrible scream filled the air as the gas was likely starting to burn Dib alive. Before Zim could think another thing, his legs were moving. He raced into the gas, back into the terrible room of tortured Irkens, closer to that disgusting brain creature, and over to Dib lying in a heap on the floor. Zim yanked him up off the ground and held him in front of his chest, the human curling up in his grasp.

Zim's body stiffened with every movement back toward the storage room. Every step was harder than the last, and he was losing his strength at an alarming rate. He couldn't do it, he couldn't make it back out! Not at this rate. He was going to get caught, Dib was going to die, he would be labeled Defective for sure, and he'd never leave this place again!

" _No_!" Zim screamed and his PAK legs came out, finally restored enough to use. The front two legs reached ahead and hooked around the doorframe, pulling Zim forward as hard as they could. He and Dib were throw into the storage room, rolling out of the gas and slamming against the back door on the other side. Zim gasped for clean air and quickly picked Dib back up. He tried to stand up, but with Dib's added weight his legs buckled beneath him. He'd have to use his PAK legs entirely.

Loud, booming shouts were coming in from the room behind them, and Zim didn't want to find out who they belonged to. He reached forward and pulled open the back door, which was painfully difficult with his muscles cramping up the way they were. Once it was opened he deployed all of his PAK legs and raced out of the building. At this point all he could manage to do with his own body was hold onto Dib and keep him from falling.

Zim willed his PAK to open, releasing a metal cord from within. It wrapped around and stopped just in front of his face, a communication device at the end.

"G-Gir!" Zim clenched his teeth as he tried to speak, all the muscles in his body pinching sharply from his refusal to relax them. "H-Help... me! Bring... the sh-ship! _Now_!"

"Okeeeee Dokieeee!" Gir screeched back, and Zim prayed that the robot would be able to find them quickly enough. He didn't have the ability to look back anymore, his neck muscles no longer able to move at all, but he knew they were being pursued. He didn't know how many were back there, or if they were even Irkens. But he knew he wasn't going to be able to out-run them for much longer. Not even on his PAK legs, especially when they weren't completely fixed yet.

Zim felt Dib shudder against his chest, his arms wrapping around his torso and clinging tightly. The human drew in a shaky breath and then coughed. It was dry and scratchy, hurting Zim just to hear it. Looking down, he could see blisters appearing on Dib's burned, red skin. There were patches of colors, some almost his normal pale shade, and others a deep crimson welt. The gas had really damaged him... He'd need medical assistance as soon as possible.

Suddenly a ship flew overhead, and for the first time in quite a while, Zim felt an immense relief fill his chest at the sound of his robot's voice.

"Hiya!" Gir waved frantically from the Voot Cruiser, which now hovering just above Zim's head.

"H-Hurry...!" Zim tried to talk and run at the same time. "Open... Open the Voot!"

"It's Mary!" Gir complied noisily, opening the front panel all the way up while continuing to wave all the while. Zim quickly reached his PAK legs up and grabbed onto the ship, pulling himself and Dib inside the small space. They landed in a pile on the floor, the tiny ship barely containing enough space for all of them.

"C-Computer!" Zim grit his teeth and tried to force air into his lungs. "Initiate... auto pilot... G-Get us back... to the base... now!"

"Yeah, yeah..." The disinterested computer program sighed, and the Voot shot off at maximum speed away from the planet. Zim forced his body into a sitting position, finally able to look around himself. He couldn't move enough yet to reach the panels, but he could see that they were definitely heading back toward Earth. Beside him and also on the floor was Dib, who was on his back. Gir was sitting in the pilot's chair humming to himself, though Zim's attention was focused on something else.

Dib whimpered loudly, his eyes clenched shut. The boy was panting between pained sounds, each one making Zim's antennas fall back behind his head more and more. Eventually they were flat against his skull entirely as Dib crossed his arms over his chest, digging his fingers into his upper arms. He appeared to be in so much pain that he couldn't lay still, and Zim didn't like watching it at all. However, when tears began making their way down Dib's temples, Zim felt something in his chest snap.

"Computer!" he growled. "Knock out the human, just make him sleep or something! I can't stand it anymore!"

A mechanical arm similar to the one back in the facility descended from the ceiling, placing a clear mask over Dib's face. An almost invisible gas was released, and slowly the human began to still and a peaceful expression crossed his face. Zim relaxed, both from Dib finally quieting down and from that awful arm going back up into the ceiling. It was too similar... He didn't want it near him.

Gir's quiet humming was a welcomed change to their surroundings. All that whimpering and writhing around... Zim hadn't liked it. But more than that, he didn't like how much it upset him. Stupid human, he got himself hurt all the time and Zim had never been bothered by the sounds before. Well, no... That wasn't entirely true. There had been a few times in the past where Dib had been quite seriously hurt from one of their fights. In each of those occasions, Zim hadn't liked hearing Dib hurting so much.

No, _no_ , he had been _annoyed_ with how much pain the Dib had been in, because he was weak and pathetic, and he didn't like hearing it! Obviously. _Stupid_ human.

Zim sighed, not wanting to think anymore. So instead he let himself slump against the wall, not moving his hand when it brushed against Dib's arm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: The description for the Control Brain's appearance is based off the artwork made by Jhonen Vasquez himself, which was never put in the show. Apparently he'd intended to use it later, but the show was cancelled before he could. So I decided to base the Control Brains off the artwork for this fic. The icon for this story is actually that very artwork.


	5. Third Time's the Charm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beta Readers: Vertorm

The muffled hum of electronics filtered through the darkness, muted and faint, yet still close by. Behind it was a rapid tapping sound, similar to raindrops falling lightly upon a driveway. They caused small, skittering vibrations to run along Dib's skin, slowly bringing him back toward consciousness.

Dib clenched his already-shut eyes as his awareness was roused. Skin... He could feel his own body now, as well as the clothing he wore. There was no pain, which caused a great wave of relief to wash over him. However, it was short lived as an unpleasant smell quickly filled his nose. Each intake of breath was followed by the terribly familiar scent of chemicals - artificially sweet at the start and bitter by the end. Before he knew it, he was cringing.

Déjà-vu struck hard against him; he'd been here before. Suddenly he was aware of the cool gel that surrounded him. He breathed it in like air, filling his lungs with a thickness that was only slightly uncomfortable. It felt wet to the touch, and yet Dib already knew he would come out dry. The strange alien substance, containing enough oxygen to keep a Human alive, caused the body to fall into a dormant state. Once asleep, the occupant would be healed of all physical injuries and would automatically awaken once restored to full strength.

Memories of painful experiments in a glass tube over the course of many years flashed by at lightning speed. However, even after realizing where he was, Dib was confused to find that he didn't feel all that threatened. Zim's base was never a safe place to wake up in, especially not while floating inside of a confined tank of gel. So why wasn't he nervous? After another rush of memories passed, all containing a barren planet and an Irken facility, Dib finally remembered what had happened.

He reached out until his right hand touched the glass, and immediately the tapping sounds stopped. He slowly opened his eyes, the feeling of the gel against them strange and cold, but familiar enough that he no longer recoiled from it, or even blinked. It had certainly caused his vision to become extra blurry though, which made it especially difficult to focus on Zim as he stood up from his chair.

Suddenly it occurred to him that the tapping sounds had actually been the clicking of keys on a keyboard, and the humming was from the large monitor along the wall. Right, he should have known that after how many times he'd been here. The gel really was disorienting...

Dib could feel his spare pair of glasses in his left pant pocket, but through the warped perspective of the glass tube, there was no point in putting them on yet. Even with Zim now standing directly in front of him, it was hard to tell what expression he wore. Normally at this point Dib would start shouting and trying to get out. However, something was different this time.

A loud whooshing sound startled Dib, and his body began to drop. It only took a few seconds for the top of the gel to lower down to his shoulders, freeing his head from the substance and causing all the noises around him to sharpen chaotically. At the same time, and as strongly as his body resisted it, Dib knew he needed to take in a deep breath. Trying to cough or sneeze the gel out of his system had only ever caused great discomfort. So he breathed it in until he felt normal air in his sinuses, and just like that the gel was gone, leaving him healthy and strangely dry.

Dib was standing easily enough, though he did find himself leaning against the glass for support. He might have been healed of damage but he was still very disoriented, not to mention cold without his jacket. Zim's face was now clearer through the glass, though Dib didn't find any more understanding in the alien's expression than he had before. Even without his glasses on, it appeared as though Zim felt just as confused as Dib.

An awkward weight filled his chest as the door opened in front of him, finally allowing him to leave the tube. He didn't immediately walk out though, still staring at Zim. The Irken appeared to be trying to conceal his emotions by crossing his arms and keeping a neutral expression on his face. Dib could easily tell it was forced though.

After a few more seconds of silence, Dib took a couple steps out of the tube and pulled the glasses out of his pocket, wiping them off with his shirt. He'd worked hard to create frames and lenses that were durable enough to easily withstand the kind of treatment he put them through on a daily basis. It took a lot more for them to break or be knocked off his face than normal. Even when he'd rolled down the hill on that strange planet, he'd managed to cover them with his arms while protecting his head, effectively pressing them against his face. But even they had their limits, and it seemed that he'd finally lost his previous pair in the gas chamber when he'd collapsed.

Firmer memories of the facility came scattering by, along with the gas burning his skin and filling his lungs with poison. Nausea hit his stomach suddenly and he winced, covering his mouth and holding onto the outside of the tube. It didn't last long, but in the corner of his eye he couldn't help but notice the way Zim moved reflexively. He'd been about to reach out to him, as though to help. However, the Irken seemed to realize his mistake almost immediately, and yanked his arm back to his side.

Zim seemed strained, like he wasn't sure what to do or say. It put Dib on edge, because Zim _always_ had something to say. He never failed to find an insult to yell, or lies to accuse him of.

They needed to talk about this. All of this, and Dib knew it, but he also knew that Zim would refuse. The Irken despised everything relating to feelings. There had only been one time that he'd managed to make any progress on that front, and that was back when he was fourteen and they'd first made their promise together. A promise that he honestly wasn't sure either of them understood anymore.

Dib, having finally decided that his glasses were as clean as they were going to get, placed the frames on his face. Almost immediately he heard a deep sigh from beside him. Apparently Zim had finally found his nerve.

"Why do you not just fix your eyes, _human_?" Zim crossed his arms tightly across his chest, his voice hostile and defensive. "They are so weak and limited... Are you not intelligent enough to correct them?"

"Of course I could fix them!" Dib exclaimed immediately with a glare, knowing deep down in his heart that he shouldn't react. He really, _really_ shouldn't, but his pride still got the better of him. " _You're_ the reason I can't stand lasers or laser surgery now! So don't take your personal frustrations out on me, _Zim_. You're just mad because you helped me!"

' _Why do I do this?_ ' Dib immediately regretted all of his words. ' _Why do I always take the bait?_ '

"Lies! Zim did nothing helpful!" Zim immediately shouted, his arms rigid at his side and his antennas pulled back like an angry cat's ears. "It was convenient, that's all. And you know too much! I could not leave a witness of Irken secrets lying around who could possibly slither away and escape!"

Dib stared incredulously, finding himself unusually speechless. Zim had been coming up with excuses this entire time, hadn't he? It was _just_ like him to immediately start a fight or run away the moment something came up that he didn't want to confront. It was the reason why Dib had long ago given up on trying to end their rivalry and become friends. Zim would _never_ have it, no matter how hard he tried! Not even this many years later, with the earth still safe from invasion and their fights clearly having little to do with that anymore anyway.

"Now leave, before I remove you myself!" Zim pointed fiercely toward the hallway that would lead back to the elevators out of the base. "You're fixed now, so there is no reason for you to remain here!"

With a growl Dib turned on his heel and stomped toward the doorway as indicated, not wanting to deal with any of this anymore. Zim was so insufferable! Dib knew damned well that he was full of crap! After everything that had happened at the facility, there was no way he was going to believe any of Zim's dumb lies!

Dib felt his legs slowing down a bit on their own.

No... This went beyond convenience or whatever else Zim had managed to convince himself of. He had not only saved Dib from certain death, but he'd put his own life in serious risk for a multitude of reasons. And he'd nearly reached out to help him again just a minute ago...

Dib clenched his fists at his sides.

Zim always did this... he _always did this_! Every single time, he would avoid and deny the _fact_ that their relationship had changed, and continued to change with every year that passed. And he always had some excuse as to why it had happened which 'clearly' proved it wasn't because of some 'hideous feelings.' But this time even _Dib_ wasn't buying it. And Dib always bought it, because it was easier!

Once Dib reached the doorway, his legs stopped moving entirely.

Maybe the reason nothing ever changed was because _both_ of them kept avoiding the truth, not just Zim.

"No!" Dib turned around and looked straight at Zim, who was watching him intently from the other side of the room. "No... No, I'm not just ignoring it this time. You need to listen for once!"

Zim's eyes narrowed dangerously as Dib began stalking slowly back into the room.

"You gained absolutely _nothing_ from what you did!" Dib shouted as he threw his arms up for emphasis. "You can't even lie about it! You could have just left me there on the floor and the gas probably would have killed me, or if not those guys would have captured me instead! Probably killed me themselves, I don't know! But... But I wouldn't have had any chance of escaping and you know it! _You know it_!"

Zim was now clenching his fists furiously, but Dib felt a strong bout of bravery swelling up inside him.

"And not just that!" Dib stopped just a few feet away from Zim. "You could have tried to kill me so many times during that whole ordeal, but you didn't! You didn't try to shoot me or stab me or anything!" Dib pointed over toward the large tube, finding himself realizing more things about this situation as he continued to rant. "And now you want to try and tell me that you healed me for... for _convenience_?! Bullshit! There's nothing even _remotely_ convenient about anything you did! And I _saw_ the way you almost reached out to grab my arm just a minute ago!"

Zim flinched and growled under his breath, his antennas even more rigid than before and his teeth bared.

"I'm not buying it this time!" Dib steadied his voice, not backing down even though Zim looked on the verge of attacking him. "The only thing I promised was that I wouldn't let you get cut open and experimented on, and the only thing you promised was to kill me before you called the armada. We _never_ agreed to help or save each other, but we keep doing it! You don't even attack the Earth anymore, you just attack _me_!"

" _Get out_ Dib!" Zim suddenly shouted at the top of his lungs, pointing furiously toward the hallway. "Don't make me drag you out by your disgusting head fur!"

"No!" Dib yelled back, invading Zim’s personal space as he took a few more steps forward. "I've walked away from this so many times! Why won't you just admit that you wanted to help me?!"

" _I would never help a human!_ " Zim shrieked and threw the nearest thing at Dib's head, which happened to be one of his chairs. Dib gasped and jerked to the right, barely managing to dodge in time. When he looked back at Zim, he saw the way his arms and legs were shaking. He was panting and his eyes were clenched shut.

The room was silent again. Dib's words had clearly affected him, and not by a small amount. Zim was struggling internally and it was clear to see. Part of Dib felt bad for doing this, but a larger part knew that he needed to push the point eventually. This was probably the best chance he'd had in years.

"I'm right, aren't I?" Dib spoke quietly, though he kept his guard up just in case. "That's why you're so upset."

"Upset?!" Zim's eyes snapped open. His words came out slowly as he started stomping toward Dib, who backed away quickly until he bumped into a wall. Zim didn't stop, however. "You accuse me of _treason_ and you think I'm only _upset_?!"

Dib held his breath as Zim's hand slammed against the wall next to his head, but he didn't flinch. They glared at each other, and for at least a moment or two, they didn't move. Dib tried to catch Zim's expression as best he could, but it wasn't easy. Irken eyes were entirely red all the way around, making it far more difficult to read them. But Dib had been doing this for a long time now, and he was almost certain he'd hit the nail right on the head this time. Zim didn't want to look at reality and see that his feelings had changed. But he still acted on them nonetheless, without thinking about it until afterward.

But... As much as Dib hated it, as much as his ego _screamed_ at him not to back down, he could tell that this wasn't the way to get through to Zim. The fear was clear in the alien's eyes; he felt cornered and he was desperate to get away, and was trying to hide it with anger. He just wasn't ready to confront this yet, even if it had been years already. Yelling sense into Zim had never worked before, and it sure as hell wasn't going to start working now. Even if he knew that deep down Zim was well aware that things weren't the same between them anymore, and they hadn't been for a very long time, he would never get him to _accept it_ if he did it like this...

"Fine..." Dib lowered his voice, though his glare did not subside. "But don't think for one second that I believe any of it."

Zim immediately looked confused and blinked a bit, pulling his arm back from the wall. Dib never backed down during a fight, that just wasn't done. Even if their fights were ultimately light hearted most of the time, they still played it out till the end. Dib randomly yielding like this, even if still stubbornly, seemed to really throw him off. In fact, it even seemed to diffuse his anger altogether.

"What?" Zim asked sharply, having now taken a few steps back.

"I said fine..." Dib sighed and rolled his eyes. "I'll drop it."

Zim gave another long, slow blink, not moving from his spot. Then he shook his head. "What?"

Dib threw his arms up in aggravation and groaned. "I'm done! You _win_!"

"Y-Yes!" Zim's finally seemed to realize what Dib was saying, his hands immediately moving to his hips. "Victory for Zim!"

Dib shook his head and shoved his hands into his pockets with a defeated sigh. He despised this... Why did it feel like more and more often lately, _he_ was the one to give in and-

Suddenly Dib was confused to find something inside his pocket, but almost immediately he realized what it was and forced his expression to remain neutral. The data chip he'd stolen at the facility... It was still there! Why hadn't Zim taken it out while he was in the tube? Had he been too distracted to check? Actually, it was in the same pocket that his spare glasses had been in. Maybe Zim had found the glasses and assumed that was all he had in his pocket?

Dib quickly felt his frustration melting away into curiosity. He was so pathetic sometimes... but one thing was for sure, his luck would run out if he didn't keep his face straight.

As the seconds passed, Dib noticed that the tension in the room was quickly draining along with the time. "Hey, did you get Tak's ship off that planet?" Dib changed the subject to something else that had been in the back of his mind for a little while now.

Zim's eyes moved down toward the ground awkwardly, giving away his answer before he even spoke. "There was no time for that with everyone in the facility chasing me at once." Suddenly Zim gasped and his antennas shot up. "Ah, curse it! If they find Tak's ship they might figure out that she left it on Earth! They'll realize I was there!"

"I doubt it," Dib tapped his foot and pondered a bit. "I figured out a way to totally erase the ship's personality and all its data, even the serial number. They won't know it was Tak's. They'll only know it's Irken from the design and the logo, but all the previous information is gone." Dib frowned in thought. "Do you think they recognized you?"

"I'm not sure," Zim said and crossed his arms. "I know they saw that I was Irken, but hopefully that's all... I doubt they had any idea what kind of horrible creature _you_ were."

Dib smirked a bit. "How long has it been since then?"

"About an Earth day," Zim said as he glanced over at the digital Irken clock near his largest monitor. His eyes narrowed after a few more seconds. "I'm sure they had cameras in there though... How could they not? A place like that has to have cameras! Gah..." Zim rubbed the top of his head with his hands in frustration. "I'll be found out for sure!"

"But wouldn't they have called you by now or something?" Dib shook his head a bit. "I really doubt they figured anything out. Maybe the gas ruined the cameras or something. Don't worry about it, you'll be fine."

Zim looked back up at Dib with a confused expression on his face, his antennas pulled back again. "Why are you reassuring me like this, human? Shouldn't you be... eh..." Zim twirled his hand around in thought. "Trying to convince me that I'm doomed or something?"

"Uh..." Dib blinked a bit, thinking about the question. It was true that normally he'd tease Zim and rub it in, and overall try to get on his nerves. But... "I dunno, I just don't feel like doing that this time. I mean..." Dib tapped his heel awkwardly as his next thought came to mind. For a moment his pride tried to shut him up, but he managed to drive it back down. At least for the moment. "You kind of seriously saved my life, so... I guess I owe you."

"Ah..." Zim looked away almost immediately after Dib finished talking, clearly uncomfortable. "Y-Yeah, sure, whatever..."

Dib couldn't help smile a bit. This exchange would have been very different earlier in his life, or even just a day ago. Zim certainly would have yelled all sorts of denials and accusations at him for daring to say something nice, assuming it was a trick. And while he definitely wasn't accepting of it now, he wasn't getting as angry about it either. Just awkward and uncomfortable. Dib supposed that was at least some kind of step forward.

 _'I wonder when it got this easy to fight with him and then just talk normally afterward...'_ Dib thought idly to himself, carefully pulling his hands out of his pockets without moving the data chip. Suddenly an impulsive curiosity to find out what would happen if he took this conversation a step further crossed his mind. Now that they weren't fighting, and as long as he didn't get too direct about it...

"Well anyway," Dib stretched his lethargic muscles a bit, lifting his arms over his head. "Let me know if you need any help."

Zim gave him a blank expression for a moment or two before responding. "Eh?"

"You heard me," Dib said with a hopeful expression, still stretching. "If you need help, like if the Armada calls you and you're in trouble or something, just let me know. I'll help you."

Another moment or two of silence passed, Zim's face just as blank as it was a moment ago, when suddenly the Irken's arm jerked in a way that Dib immediately recognized. Sure enough, just a few seconds later Zim was pointing at him fiercely. " _Lies_! Filthy, horrible _liar_!"

Dib sighed loudly in response, dropping his arms back down to his sides and covered his face with his hand as Zim began his rant. Apparently that was one step too many...

"You've been possessed!" Zim exclaimed and continued pointing furiously, his hand shaking with dismay. "Controlled by the smelly demon Halloweenie monsters! Is it that time of the year already?! That must be it!"

"Zim..." Dib groaned between his fingers in hopes of quieting the Irken. He seemed to have no such luck though.

"Your mind has breached your skull again!" Zim took a few steps back and began looking wildly around the room, arms out at his sides as he searched desperately for enemies. "The terrible, insane images, they will spread like before! Hurry, where is the head plug thingie?!"

"Zim!" Dib threw his arms down and shouted louder this time.

"The house will be invaded by the terrible _children_!" Zim visibly shuddered at the idea. "Computer! Barricade the-!"

" _Zim_!" Dib finally managed to shout louder, his voice echoing loudly around the control room. Zim's antennas shot upward and he stared at Dib, blinking rapidly. His arms were still out at his sides and his eyes were wide, looking just like a pet that had been caught jumping up on top of the kitchen table. Dib cleared his throat and tried to get back on track. "I'm not possessed, jeez! I'm just saying I'll help you because I owe it to you, that's all!"

A few more seconds of silence passed, and then Zim pointed sharply back toward the healing chamber. "Get back in the tube."

"W-What?!" Dib exclaimed with wide eyes as Zim began stomping toward him, clearly with the intention of dragging him back over there. Dib couldn't help but laugh a bit at Zim's reaction to all of this as he backed away, arms up in front of him in surrender.

"You're not done, your brain is clearly still broken." Zim stated matter-of-factly, now grabbing Dib by the shoulders. "Back in the tube with you human!"

"Ziiiiiiiiiiim!" Dib exclaimed and only laughed more, Zim now pushing him toward the opposite corner of the room where he'd woken up in. Dib finally managed to whip around and pull out of Zim's grasp, only to wind up backed into a corner next to the healing tube. They looked at each other for a moment before the deeply serious expression on Zim's face caused Dib to start giggling again.

"What is so funny?!" Zim demanded with all the seriousness over nothing logical that only an Irken could manage.

"Just..." Dib wiped his eyes a bit and finally got control over himself after a long sigh. "You're ridiculous."

Zim blinked a few times, and at first Dib was nervous that he'd upset him again. He _had_ just been laughing at him, after all. However, after another second or two, Zim's expression broke out into a smirk. Dib couldn't help but smile at the Irken's overly dramatic behavior. Not that he'd ever expect Zim to act any differently, especially not toward him. But then again, hadn't this whole exchange been different? Their fight had only lasted a few moments before they were talking like it hadn't even happened, and now they had just been laughing. Almost like normal people did.

Normal... what did he even know about that, anyway? He'd never had a normal life, or even a normal friendship in his entire life.

Zim's smirk faded into a more neutral expression. Dib felt his own smile starting to lessen, although he didn't look away immediately. He didn't sense any kind of negativity between them, even though the laughter had died out. Something in Zim's eyes caught Dib's attention, though he wasn't entirely sure what it was...

Suddenly Dib realized how long their gaze had lasted and felt especially awkward. He quickly turned and looked away, clearing his throat a bit.

"W-Well I better get going," Dib said, trying to ignore how obviously nervous his own voice had just sounded. _'What the hell is wrong with me?'_ Dib thought slowly to himself. ' _Maybe I should have gone back in that tube...'_

"Eh... yeah, right." Zim nodded and stepped aside.

As Dib made it back to the doorway that lead to the elevator out of the base, he found his legs stopping his progress once again. Something between them had changed for sure, though he wasn't sure what it was. He couldn't put his finger on it, but he knew it was there. _Something_ was there. He'd felt it the last couple times it had happened, back when they'd stopped hating each other, and also when they started helping one another, even if only selfishly. And now once again he could feel the shift of a new change. Zim of course wouldn't provide any help toward him figuring it out, but he might be able to assess what it was on his own.

He really, _really_ wanted to be able to say that he only cared so much about all this because he loved to learn. He hated knowing there was something out there that he didn't understand, and with the exception of pretty much all forms of social skills, he'd always strived to learn as much as he possibly could. But when it came to all of this weird stuff with Zim, he honestly wasn't sure. For all intents and purposes, it was both easier and safer for him to _not_ care. It was less complicated that way, and less likely to turn into a tangled up mess. And yet here he was, simply too curious to just let it go like his logical mind knew he should.

Nope, that just wasn't Dib's style. He didn't like not knowing something, even if that made it much more difficult. Whatever the reasons were, unlike Zim he was willing to figure it out even if he didn't like the answers he found. He hadn't become an investigator for nothing, after all.

"Hey, Zim." Dib turned around on his heel and tried to think as quickly as possible. He had to make sure he worded this right... "I'll be seeing you tomorrow then!"

"What garbage are you spewing now, Dib?" Zim tapped his foot impatiently from the other side of the room.

"You know, that new Asian cafe in the mall!" Dib smiled as normally as he could and tilted his head to the side a bit. "You said it's been a day, right? So its grand opening should be tomorrow. Obviously you're going."

"Why would I go to some filthy eating facility in the germ-infested mall?!" Zim huffed and threw his arms up dramatically. "Begone with you human!"

"Oh... I mean, I just figured you wanted to seem normal, that's all." Dib did his best to look confused, catching the way Zim's antennas immediately rose. "So I assumed you'd go there right when the store opens on its first day, like everyone else. I don't know anyone who's _not_ going! Just _you_ , I suppose..."

"W-What?" Zim stammered a bit and looked around frantically. "O-Of course I'm going, you moron! _Obviously_ Zim is _normal_ and does normal _things_!"

"You're an alien, you never do normal things." Dib rolled his eyes, unable to help himself.

" _Lies_!" Zim shouted at the ceiling, ensuring Dib's victory over the situation. "Zim is so normal it's... it's... strange!"

Dib snorted with legitimate laughter at the Irken's stupid remark, though it didn't seem to give away his trickery. Once he realized Zim was glaring at him, he turned back around and waved, quickly making his way toward the elevator without another word.

He was probably making a mistake with this plan... What would it even accomplish, talking to Zim in a public place? Even if it encouraged him to keep his temper down a bit for fear of acting "unusual," it didn't mean he'd actually answer any of his questions. He'd probably just insult him and walk right out...

' _I'll just give it one shot,_ ' Dib thought to himself with a sigh as he pressed the button on the elevator that would bring it down to him. ' _If I still can't get anything out of him, then I guess that's that._ '

********************

Dib yawned as he proceeded down the front yard walkway, happy that the night had turned out relatively warm without his jacket. Going back to his dad's house from Zim's always felt a lot farther than it actually was, especially after spending an extended period of time in the stasis tube. Not that the walk was even remotely as bad as any of the various apartments he'd lived in. Anytime he moved out, he made a point of going farther into the city where news of paranormal activity traveled faster. Unfortunately, that meant anytime Zim managed to capture him, he'd wind up with a multiple hour bus ride and a _lot_ of walking. So he supposed he couldn't complain _too_ much tonight.

A sigh escaped his lips as he walked up the front steps. He really needed to move out again... Even if he only made it a year before he was inevitably crawling back, as all of his previous attempts to strike out on his own had turned out, it would still be a much needed separation for everyone. He knew deep down that he, Gaz and his dad all loved one another. But he also knew that none of them were any good at showing it. Nothing had changed over the years, and they weren't about to start now.

It was an endless cycle that had started since the day he turned eighteen; he'd be constantly fighting with the rest of his family - his dad because he still practiced 'that dumb para-science at this age', and Gaz because of his 'endless noise', so he'd move out for everyone's sake. He'd do well for a few months, and then the financial struggles would hit. Even during the short time he worked as an official investigator and not freelance, he still could hardly make ends meet. And sure enough, after barely avoiding eviction, he'd wind up right back in his old bedroom as soon as his lease was up. Another year would pass, every month building up a bit more household tension than the last, until he finally couldn't take it anymore and he tried to move out again.

Rinse and repeat for five years. At least he didn't have a _bad_ renter's history, he supposed. It just wasn't anything he could brag about either.

Dib dug around in his pockets, praying that his house key was somehow magically still on him. Of course it wasn't, as his luck would always seem to have it. He'd probably left it in Tak's ship, and since his dad almost certainly wasn't home, that meant he'd have to wake Gaz up... Great.

With yet another sigh, Dib made his way over to the far right window of the house, near the neighbor's fence. It only took him a few seconds of searching to find a rock that wouldn't break the window, and to toss it lightly up at the glass. It tapped against it lightly and fell back down to the ground.

"Gaz...!" Dib whispered loudly, hoping that his sister could hear him. After a few more seconds of silence he tried again, a bit louder. " _Gaz...!_ "

Suddenly the curtains were jerked roughly to the right and the window slammed upward, Dib wincing more from fear than the noise. Gaz stood at the window, a terrible glare upon her face and her hair a disheveled mess. Dib opened his mouth to speak, but was immediately cut off.

"You have _got_ to be the highest maintenance person on the planet," Gaz seethed as she leaned forward on the windowsill, her expression not softening in the slightest. "How do you even function when you live alone?"

"I'm pretty sure I'm not the _highest_ maintenance person, that would definitely be Zim..." Dib sighed and tapped his right hand awkwardly against his leg, realizing that it probably wasn't a good idea to mention Zim right now, but having already blurted it out without thinking. "Though I won't say I'm not high on the list."

"No, _seriously_ ," Gaz pressed the issue, clearly disinterested in Dib's thoughts on the matter. "What do you _do_ when you don't have a roommate to constantly help your ass? Do you just... stand outside all night when you lose your keys? Never go to work because your car got _'blown up by Zim'_ or some shit?"

"Come on, Gaz...!" Dib whined, rubbing his face with his hands before throwing his arms out in defeat. "I'm sorry, okay? I'm a dumbass! Just... Don't make me sit outside all night like the last time this happened. I can't get through dad's security without the right tools anymore, he upgraded it _again_!"

"Maybe you need to learn!" Gaz mocked with fake cheerfulness. "I know, it'll be like _school_ all over again!" - Gaz began panning her hands outward as she spoke - "Tonight's lesson, Dib _finally_ learns how overwhelmingly _annoying_ his needy tendencies are!"

"Okay, that is _word for word_ what you said the last time this happened!" Dib pointed up at his sister indignantly. "And I didn't learn a _thing_!"

Gaz groaned loudly and slammed the window shut, shutting her bedroom light off.

Dib smacked his hand against his forehead, figuring that he probably deserved that reaction. That's what he got for being snarky... It could be worse though, he supposed. He could be injured, or it could be one in the morning during _winter_ instead of summer. So there was some good in this, if he looked hard enough.

After a few minutes of deciding what he wanted to do, he began making his way back to the front of the house. No sense in standing in the side-yard anymore. At least on the front porch there would be some light. To his great surprise, however, when he made it back to the steps he saw that the front door was open. In the entryway stood his very pissed off sister, clad in her favorite purple, sleeveless, Vampire Piggy night shirt, Game-Slave-7 shaped slippers, and black pajama shorts. She gave him a long, cold stare before pointing angrily into the house. Dib nodded nervously and rushed inside before she changed her mind.

The house was as dark and quiet as he'd expected, his dad probably spending the nights at the downtown lab as usual. He only came home a few times a month to get supplies, and then he went back to work - though of course he never failed to bring up the fact that Dib could probably afford to buy his own house if he simply studied 'real science'. At least he got along better with his sister now. They still bickered as much as they ever did, but it was a lot more lighthearted. They weren't exactly friends, but they helped each other when they needed it. Of course Gaz always seemed angry about it when she did, but she was just that way in general.

Gaz muttered quietly as she closed and locked the door, "Consider yourself lucky that Risen Empire 4 got delayed a day and now I don't have anything to do tomorrow."

"Yeah, thanks Gaz..." Dib smiled, not really expecting her to notice. That's right, the new installment for one of her favorite game series' was about to come out. Because of that, she'd probably be very busy working after tomorrow. While Dib didn’t entirely understand her job, he was proud of his sister’s accomplishments nonetheless.

Gaz had managed to become a well-known game reviewer, her opinions often viewed as fact. She never let her real name get out though, utterly despising attention. It didn’t matter too much though, because her online name was more than enough to sell her reviews and scare companies into paying her to _not_ say anything bad about their product.

"Hey!" Gaz's voice cut through Dib's thoughts, and he didn't quite realize she'd tossed something at him before it hit him in the face. Gaz smirked as he fumbled with the game controller. "Take your punishment."

Dib sighed and sat down on the couch. This was their normal routine - Dib would piss Gaz off somehow, so Gaz got to kick his ass for as long as she wanted in a video game of her choosing. But if Dib didn't try his hardest to win, and somehow she _always_ knew when he wasn't, then she got to kick his _actual_ ass. Dib greatly preferred the video games.

Gaz popped a disk into the console and turned on the TV, which was already hooked up to display the game instead of the cable channels. Ah, yes, this was a game he'd been mercilessly destroyed in many times. Alley Fighter 9, a game where two street rats fought to the death. Literal rats of course, and just as Dib had expected, the moment the game's announcer said 'Go!' Dib's poor rat was already dead. Gaz laughed and selected another stage.

Another six rounds of near-to-immediate death later, Dib found his mind trailing back over to the events from earlier. Zim in particular, as grudgingly typical as that was for him. It just didn't make sense though... Why had he saved him? And why was he just so incapable of admitting it?

"Hey, hey!" Gaz exclaimed suddenly. "You're not paying attention!"

"Sorry!" Dib gasped and focused back on the TV before he got smacked in the head.

"You better not be thinking about _Zim_ instead of your punishment!" Gaz glared at him, not even having to look at the TV to continue smearing his doomed rat into the virtual cement.

"Shut up!" Dib groaned and kept mashing random buttons, trying to figure out _some_ kind of pattern to this nonsense. Then he sighed heavily, "But, yeah... It's Zim..."

"Yeah, I'm not dumb," Gaz shook her head and looked back over at the TV, ensuring that any slim chance Dib had of winning a match was utterly abolished before continuing. "Everything is always about Zim with you. When are you guys gonna make-out and be done with it?"

"You know it's not like that!" Dib glared at the screen, particularly at Gaz's rat. Great, _this_ old argument again.

"I know you _think_ it's not like that," Gaz corrected him with a smirk, easily dodging all of his rat's attacks. "Buuuuuut I'm pretty sure it's _actually_ like that."

"No but seriously, he _yelled_ at the Tallest a few days ago!" Dib ignored her snide remarks and went back to the real subject at hand. "Like, actually got pissed and just snapped because they kept calling him Defective!"

"Hmm..." Gaz trailed off after once again killing Dib's rat. Then she stood up and walked over to the console to shut it off, apparently satisfied with his beatings. Once she was done she turned back toward Dib and tapped her chin in thought. "Maybe he's finally less stupid? Then again he _is_ Zim, he's always gonna be stupid to _some_ extent. You see? You guys have so much in common."

"Ahaha." Dib said flatly, face deadpanning before continuing his explanation. "But after that we went to this weird planet and we found this facility where they kept Defective Irkens. I think they do really bad experiments on them or something."

"If I listen to you babble on about this crap," Gaz pointed at him with a serious expression on her face. "Then that means you're agreeing to not speak a _single word_ to me once the game comes out, and it will last until the moment I finish my review for it. _Understood_?"

"Sure!" Dib felt excitement in his chest. He never got talk to anyone about... well, anything! Except for Zim, but... that was different. "You know how Zim has to have his PAK to survive? I think I told you once... Anyway, none of these Irkens had PAKs but they were able to be woken up, which totally shouldn't happen! And then these machines kept waking them up and doing messed up things to them. Zim and I got attacked, and..." Dib trailed off a bit as he remembered more details about what happened, Gaz now walking over to put away the console and controllers. "I was going to die, for real this time," Dib continued. "I mean I know I say that like literally _every single time_ , but seriously, this was _it_ for me. And he came back... He actually came back and almost got himself killed doing so, just to save me! What does that mean...?"

"That you guys are totally gay," Gaz said flatly, appearing to have finished up with her task.

"Agh, seriously Gaz!" Dib groaned dramatically. "I need your help!"

"Seriously?!" Gaz rolled her eyes and began walking toward the stairs. "Dib, it has been _twelve years_ and you still only ever talk about Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, _Zim_! What does _that_ mean to _you_? Either sit down, shut up and really think about it, or go out and make an actual friend or something. You're driving everyone else insane."

Before Dib could counter her clearly incorrect argument, she had already made it up the stairs and down the hallway toward her bedroom. Dib rolled his eyes and leaned back into the couch with a pout on his face, stuffing his hands into his pockets. While it was nice that she'd listened to his thoughts a bit, he wished she hadn't left so soon. Or had at least offered him some _real_ advice. Make a friend... Seriously, who did she think she was talking to? How could he possibly make any friends in a world _this stupid_? It wasn't even like he hadn't tried before, either. It just _never_ worked.

Maybe that was why he was so obsessed with Zim. The two of them had an odd relationship, he wasn't denying that by any means. But there were just so many things now that only the two of them could ever understand. As much as he hated to admit it, they truly did have a lot in common. It was why he wished somehow he could get Zim to move on from his stupid mission.

Before Dib could continue with his line of thinking, his left hand brushed against something metallic and his face lit up. Immediately he jumped to his feet and rushed up the stairs, holding the Irken data chip firmly in his hand. However, when he heard an angry order to keep his ' _damned noise down_ ' coming from his sister's room, he instead tiptoed the rest of the way. Once he was in his bedroom, he very lightly shut his door.

Dib couldn't open his laptop fast enough; a while ago he'd added a special plug into the side of it that could connect to various Irken devices. This was after he'd come to the realization that almost all Irken technology had the exact same plugs. So, after many sleepless nights, he'd managed to install an electronic port into the side of his computer that could fit these Irken devices, and actually read the information on them. It was very rare that he got a chance to use it, so this new turn of events had him very excited!

Dib quickly plugged the data chip into the universal Irken plug and waited for the information to load. Everything was in Irken lettering, but he could read that easily by now.

 _'Loading Information... 1%...'_ Dib glared at the screen and then over at his digital clock. It was now 1:28am. However, after two more minutes passed by and the percentage still hadn't changed, Dib groaned and got up, flopping down onto his bed. It could take all night...

Dib kicked off his shoes and pants, sliding down below his blanket and sighing. Part of him demanded that he make up a plan for the following day, when he was to meet with Zim at the cafe. He needed at least _some_ idea about what he was going to say, or it was just going to go exactly the same way it had in the base - only in public this time. Besides, Zim just wasn't capable of being civil, not even in front of-

Dib groaned into his pillow and tried to force his mind to shut the hell up. He definitely wasn't going to figure anything out if he didn't ever get any sleep!

After turning onto his side and closing his eyes, finally allowing the darkness to surround him, Dib found himself hoping one last time that he'd be able to get some answers the following day. Even if he had to embarrass himself in public, it would be worth it to just know _why_.


	6. Omens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta Readers: Vertorm

"Enforcer Rev reporting in." An Irken with blue eyes sat in the pilot seat of his advanced stealth ship - a sharp, black model only given to the Enforcers who worked directly for the Control Brains. He quickly turned up the volume on his communicator from the control panel. "The Voot Cruiser fleeing from Defect Facility 6004 has landed on a planet called Earth. There are a lot of natives... I'll need to use a disguise. Official records refer to them as _humans_."

"Yes, that planet belongs to Invader Zim," a robotic voice filled the cockpit.

"Zim?" Rev raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Wait, you mean that virus-Irken who overpowered The First during his Trial?"

"Correct," the voice replied simply. "Is that who you've been following?"

"I can't be certain." Rev shook his head as he began scanning the surface for Irken DNA. "In order to ensure I wasn't detected, I had to remain far enough away that I couldn't get an accurate scan of the ship's serial number."

"It is likely Zim," the voice stated. "However, another Irken could be trying to hide there. In any case, your order is to exterminate."

"Understood," Rev said and found himself grinning. How interesting that he'd wind up here, at the very planet assigned to such a notorious traitor. "I will contact you as soon as I've eliminated the target."

"Your hard work is appreciated," said the voice as Rev turned on his ship's cloaking device, disappearing from all outside visuals. "If you must eliminate Zim, do not worry about The First. I will deal with the matter. It is still the High Control Brain. Even with Zim's tampering, it understands that protecting the facility's secret is the highest priority. You should also know that we discovered Irken Tak's old ship on the planet as well. It was located a good distance away from the incident. There were human DNA samples found inside which I will be sending to you shortly. You are to find a match to it. We are currently interrogating Tak to find out if she was at all involved. In the meantime be sure to destroy this human as well."

"Of course, Third." Rev reached forward and placed a finger against the communication switch. "I will destroy them both immediately. I will not return unless I have done so." He flipped the switch and then sat back in his chair as his ship began entering the atmosphere.

********************

Dib looked down at his phone in frustration. Various people crowded and bumped him in the mall corridor as he leaned against the wall, not seeming to notice his presence in the slightest. Their awful armpit smell was the only thing potent enough to drag his mind back to the present. He glanced up at the new Asian cafe to see if Zim had shown up yet, which was just across from where he stood. When he found no signs of him, he went back to his cell.

His automatic decryption program had experienced a lot more difficulty with the stolen data chip than he'd predicted. The program had barely decoded half of the files by the time he'd woken up, even after running all night. Because of that, Dib had been forced to use the program on his cell while he was out, which meant it would be even _slower_. He'd already transferred the completed files over to the phone's massive memory chip, so he was now simply skimming through them while he waited.

So far there seemed to be nothing but lengthy videos, which he really didn't have the time to watch until he got home. He needed to make sure he had enough of his attention free to keep a look out for Zim.

Dib glanced back up at the cafe's entryway. Now that he was looking at it more closely, he noticed a group of people waiting outside. Was the place full already? He supposed it was possible, seeing as it was their opening day. Zim was of course ten minutes late already, though that wasn't at all surprising. It was a good thing Dib had already put his name in line a while ago.

The quiet 'blip' of another file being successfully decoded managed to reach his ears, and his eyes immediately darted back down. It was a text file! Finally, something other than a ten minute video clip!

' _Classified Features of the Productivity Advancement Kit - PAK._ ' Dib's mind translated the Irken characters with great enthusiasm. He looked up briefly for Zim, and when he didn't catch sight of anything green, he went back to reading. ' _There are several top-classified features to the PAK that are only known by the Control Brains and their Enforcers. The Tallest and any Invaders who host PAKs are automatically disqualified from this level of knowledge, regardless of achievement. These classified PAK features are as follows:_

' _Stunted Growth: Only pre-selected Irkens are allowed to grow past a certain height, which is chosen by the Control Brains. The Tallest are elected this way, though they do not have the clearance to this knowledge. They serve as a face for the Empire, and should therefore believe that they are taller on their own. Only Control Brains and Enforcers are privy to this information. Irkens nearing their pre-determined height should be watched carefully. If they grow beyond that, they are Defective._ '

Dib raised an eyebrow. He supposed he shouldn't be all that surprised by this information. The Tallest had always seemed pretty stupid, so it really wasn't much of a stretch to believe that someone else was pulling their strings. The dumber they were, the less likely they were to figure anything out.

' _Removed Sexuality: Irkens are no longer permitted to breed naturally, as they had done before the Control Brain's conquering of Planet Irk. All Irkens are to be grown inside facilities where PAKs will be installed immediately at birth. Any Irken that develops natural breeding urges, or is not fitted with a PAK after hatching, is Defective._ '

Dib frowned and found himself re-reading the entry a couple times before he felt confident that he'd understood it correctly. Natural breeding? Planet Irk conquered by Control Brains? What the heck? He was almost one hundred percent certain that everything he'd ever stolen from Irken data archives implied that the Control Brains were simply powerful computers. Their artificial intelligence was supposedly the best in the universe.

"Hey, service drone!"

The sudden sound of Zim's voice cutting through the crowd jerked Dib back to reality. He quickly stuffed the phone back into his pocket and ran toward the cafe where Zim was causing some kind of commotion.

Curse it... Why did his luck always turn out like this? He'd _finally_ found something important to read and of _course_ that's when Zim showed up.

"Sir, I need you to go to the back of the line," said an irritated male cafe attendant with red hair and freckles. He was standing just outside the door with a clipboard in his hand and a blue apron which read 'Miyas' Asia Cafay' tied across his chest. "Everyone has to wait their-"

"Silence!" Zim interrupted the poor attendant who was merely trying to get everyone to line up correctly. Before he could make another attempt at explaining how 'waiting in line' worked, the Irken was already cutting him off. "Cease your nonsense! I need to get inside before all these other slimy humans- I-I mean... Before these fellow earthlings-!"

"Wait!" Dib stepped directly between them, waving his arms around to get both of their attention. "He's with me, I'm already in line! I got here a while ago so I should be on the list."

"Name?" sighed the attendant as he looked down at his clipboard with disdain.

"Dib Membrane," Dib responded quickly, keeping Zim in his peripheral vision just in case he tried something weird.

"Hmm, yeah," the attendant tapped the eraser of his pencil against the list. "You can go in I guess, we were ready for you a while ago. There's an open table in the back corner, on the right side."

"Don't listen to what the Dib-thing says!" Zim pointed furiously at the attendant while glaring at Dib. "I have nothing to do with him!"

"If you don't come in with me," Dib pointed at the back of the line, which now had at least ten people in it, before letting his voice drop dramatically, "then you'll have to go all the way back _there_. Surrounded by smelly humans for _who knows_ how long!"

Zim looked at the line with a horrified expression for a long moment before his eyes moved to the attendant, and then back over at Dib. He blinked a few times and appeared to be considering his circumstance, though his expression was becoming more and more irritated as the seconds passed. After one last glance at the line, Zim glared spitefully at Dib as he reached over to grab him by the arm.

"Little wretch," Zim fumed as he stormed into the cafe, pulling Dib toward the only empty booth. As the attendant had said, it was in the back corner near some windows that gave view into the main corridor of the mall. Hoards of people walked past it on the other side, shopping bags clutched firmly in their hands. The shoppers paid no attention to either of them as they sat down. Or to be more accurate, as _Zim_ sat down after having shoved Dib into the booth on the other side of the table.

Dib glared and adjusted himself in his seat, having to make a strong effort not to start a fight right off the bat. Really, why was he even here again? To get Zim to talk to him? Dib wanted to punch himself for thinking this would work. It was amazing how much Zim could talk and yet never actually say anything.

"Hello!" a bubbly waitress greeted them in a horribly high pitched voice, setting two glasses of water down on the table. "Welcome to Mimi's Asia Diner!"

Zim gasped as water sloshed over the side of both glasses and onto the table, leaping back into his seat and holding his arms out in front of his face. He quickly began scooting all the way to the far side of the booth, his shoulder smacking into the wall once he reached the end.

"I thought this was a cafe?" Dib raised an eyebrow as he broke away from Zim to look up at her.

The waitress blinked slowly for a moment or two, as though she wasn't quite sure what had been said. Eventually she looked down at the words on her blue apron, which matched the apron of the attendant outside, and then back up with a wide grin on her face. "Yes! Welcome to Milo's Asia Eatery! Would you two like anything else to drink today?"

In the corner of Dib's eye, just before he'd smacked the palm of his hand against his own face in disgust, he caught the incredulous look on Zim's face.

"Your words are stupid!" Zim declared loudly from the far side of the booth. "And I will take no part in your planet's horrible acid-drinking rituals!"

"Just..." Dib trailed off a bit before looking at her again, unable to deny what Zim had said, even to himself. "Water is fine for both of us."

"Alrighty then, I’ll come back in a bit!" The waitress replied happily, setting two menus down on the table before rushing off toward the kitchen. Dib stared after her and then let out a long sigh. None of this should surprise him by now, and yet even after this many years, he was still baffled by how utterly _stupid_ society was. It only seemed to be getting worse and worse as time went on.

"Why are humans so much dumber in the city?" Zim scoffed, his eyes still facing the kitchen doorway that the waitress had walked through. "Obviously they're dumb _everywhere_ on this miserable planet _,_ but in these overly populated areas they seem..." he waved his hands for a moment, as though he was unable to decide how to end his remark.

"Especially challenged?" Dib offered, scooting to the end of the booth across from Zim. He made sure not to bring his water with him.

"Yes, that," Zim grinned mischievously and nodded for a moment. "Though _brain dead_ would have been more accurate."

Dib found himself unable to stop from chuckling a bit and shaking his head in response.

"Hah!" Zim slammed his fists against the table triumphantly. "You said nothing! Zim wins!"

"You...!" Dib automatically sat up straight and felt the strong urge to prove himself right coursing through his veins. When he realized that he couldn't even figure out what it was that he was trying to prove though, he backed down. "Whatever."

"Exactly!" Zim pointed fiercely across the table. "Zim wins the... word exchanging, conversation... thing!" His arm sagged a bit and he looked over to the side, frowning slightly. He was quiet for a moment or two, seeming to contemplate what exactly he'd 'won' so successfully. When he didn't appear to come up with anything convincing, he went back to glaring down at the tabletop stubbornly.

Dib wasn't sure what to say in response, so he chose to stay quiet for now. Zim began tapping his fingers against the table, his contact-covered eyes drifting back over to the windows. He shifted in his seat a bit, as though crossing his legs. Dib cleared his throat distractedly, hoping to pass the time. Not that it was working at all; the awkwardness was building up heavily between them and the clocks all seemed to stop moving for no reason.

Zim was now picking at something that looked like lint on his left glove. Dib couldn't help looking down at his own hands in response, almost automatically. His nails _were_ pretty dirty, now that he was checking... He could also try reading more of that text file again and- No, no! He'd come here for a reason, damn it! He needed to stop messing around and get his shit together!

Before Dib could muster up enough conviction to saying anything, Zim began speaking offhandedly as he continued looking out into the mall. "So what do you humans all do at these, eh... _grand opening_ ceremonies? Make sure the other humans notice you and then go home?"

"Depends," Dib replied as he fished his phone out of his pocket. "If you're at a restaurant like this then you eat food. But if you were at a game store, you'd buy games. Stuff like that. But uh..." Dib tried to word his next remark carefully. "Not all grand openings are important. This one just was because, um, Miya's a celebrity and now she has her own cafe, _maybe_..." Dib muttered under his breath about the cafe's inability to decide its own name before continuing. "Anyway, this opening was... important. Because she is."

Zim gave Dib's lie a hum of understanding before suddenly looking appalled, "Wait, Zim cannot eat this toxic waste! Yesterday you said I only had to be seen here!"

"Oh come on," Dib said with a roll of his eyes as he opened up one of the menus. "I've seen you eat earth snacks before and you were just fine. Just get a dessert, don't get food. Here, look at this part." Dib pointed to the section with cakes, ice cream and other such indulgences, and slid the menu across the table to Zim. The Irken backed up a bit and looked down at it with wide eyes, as though he were afraid it would spit fire in his face. Dib had to hold back his laughter at the ridiculous behavior.

Very slowly Zim seemed to creep his face closer to the menu until he could actually read it, though he didn't touch it at all. Dib watched with a grin on his face as Zim scanned each item with large, twitchy eyes, until they suddenly snapped upward at him. Dib jumped a bit in surprised as Zim snatched the menu off the table and sulked behind it where he couldn't be seen anymore.

Dib laughed and shook his head as he opened his own menu. He was pretty sure that if he got actual food it would just cause Zim to complain about the smell or something. Besides that, he wasn't very hungry anyway. So maybe he'd just get a treat too and leave it at that.

' _I'm avoiding bringing it up..._ ' Dib had to admit to himself. He needed to talk to Zim still, but how was he going to start such a conversation? Even if Zim kept his composure in public, it still didn't mean he'd talk. Dib had been so distracted by the Irken files that morning that he'd completely forgotten to figure out what he wanted to say beforehand.

Extensive pre-planning had always been the only way he managed to get by in social situations, because he really wasn't any good at it... Maybe Gaz could help? She had a good amount of friends now, so she was probably at least somewhat decent at personal conversations. Better than _he was,_ anyway. Today was his last chance to talk to her for a while too.

' _Hey Gaz,_ ' Dib began typing out a text message, glancing up to make sure Zim wasn't done yet. ' _I'm at a cafe with Zim. How do I get him to talk to me about the facility stuff? I need help!_ '

Almost immediately there was a beep from his phone as a text message popped up on his screen.

' _Did u srsly just say that ur out on a date with Zim?_ '

Dib gaped at his phone in horror, wide eyes blinking rapidly at his sister's response. A few seconds later he snarled loudly, pressing keys as he held the phone with both hands.

' _WHAT?! I NEVER SAID THAT AND YOU KNOW IT!_ '

"Lies!"

Dib gasped at Zim's sudden outburst, barely managing to press ‘ _send_ ’ before dropping the phone into his lap. "W-What?!"

"Do not act stupid!" Zim shouted furiously. "You said something about me never saying something! It was quite unspecific... but _just as guilty_!"

"I-I...!" Dib blinked rapidly, his face heating up.

Shit! He'd gone and said his thoughts out loud without even realizing it again, hadn't he? He'd managed to get a fairly good grip over that as he got older, but it still reared its ugly head whenever he was particularly worked up.

"Your fear betrays you, _human_!" Zim leaned forward over the table until he was outright crawling onto it. His sharp glare immediately latched onto Dib's nervousness like a predator. "You will explain now, or I will-!"

"Now, what can I get you to eat?" asked the waitress as she suddenly appeared next to them and pulled out a notepad. Not even a second later Zim was seated politely in his chair with his arms folded neatly on the tabletop.

"Um..." Dib trailed off as he tried to collect his thoughts. "I'll just have the-"

"Okie dokie!" the waitress cut him off as she scribbled something down on her notepad, and then turned to face Zim. "And for you?"

"Eh?!" Zim lost his fake composure immediately. "I don't... there's, eh... Whatever the Dib got!"

"But I didn't even-!"

"Great!" the waitress said enthusiastically as she cut Dib off yet again, walking off toward the kitchen without another word. Dib found himself glaring at the kitchen door as it swung shut.

 _‘Enough stalling.’_ Dib thought firmly to himself.

"Alright, well..." Dib cleared his throat and looked straight at Zim, conviction in his eyes. Zim would feel obligated to stay until he ate something, so this was his last chance to try and talk about it. If he waited too long, Zim would just get up and leave. "I need... to... ask you something."

Zim seemed to immediately sense the change in Dib's tone. He narrowed his eyes, as though warning Dib to watch what he was about to say.

Dib rarely took Zim’s advice. "Why did you save me back at that facility?"

The slight irritation that had been present on Zim's face was now replaced with something much more severe. He leaned forward on his forearms, looking straight at Dib as he spoke. "Human, I will warn you for the _last time_ that we are _not_ talking about that. It's bad enough that it happened. It's over now, _done_."

"You wouldn't have done that ten years ago," Dib stated firmly, though he kept his voice down.

"You don't know anything about what I would have done ten years ago!" Zim hissed and clenched his fists tightly.

"I've dedicated my entire god damned _life_ to you!" Dib hissed back, immediately having to stop himself from getting pissed off. "Even as an adult, even with my job, I _still_ spend enough time studying you that my sister thinks I'm-!" Dib had to cut himself off before he made the conversation even more awkward than it already was. "Never mind... Look, I know _everything_ about you, especially what you would have done ten years ago compared to now!"

"You stupid..." Zim's shoulders raised furiously. "sniveling, conniving, _wretched little-_!"

"Listen!" Dib cut him off loudly, then lowered his voice to a near whisper to keep from drawing too much attention. "I get it, okay? I get it. It's not okay for you to have done what you did, you could get in trouble, whatever. But just between you and me, why can't you just answer the question honestly? You know it's not as simple as us just being enemies anymo-"

"Shut up!" Zim whispered furiously, digging his claws into the table. "You think they won't hear?! You think they don't eventually find out everything we see, do and say?! I was nearly made Defective once already. I'm not risking that again just to satisfy some fool craving of yours!"

"What?" Dib frowned, genuinely confused now. "I know you guys have strict rules and all that, but how could they possibly find out what you've said to me if you don't tell them?"

"You have no understanding of the Trials!" Zim puts his hands in his fake hair and leaned his elbows against the table, clearly stressed. "You don't know how they find out about us! Telling you anything would be treason, and they _will_ find out. The only thing I truly have are my thoughts, but everything else they will see and take, they'll...!" Zim closed his eyes, taking a deep breath to apparently try and calm himself down. "This is not some petty paranoia, Dib. This is a _fact_."

Dib suddenly remembered when Zim had left for a long time, many years ago. He'd just up and disappeared one day without a word. He didn't return for many months, leaving Gir alone to create all kinds of chaos on Earth. Zim had gone on and on about how he'd been praised as one of the greatest Invaders to ever live as soon as he'd come back, but Dib had naturally assumed that Zim was full of crap. Now he was even more certain that there was a lot more to it than he'd originally thought.

"Do they..." Dib trailed off a bit, trying to come up with an idea as to what could happen at these Trials that would cause Zim to think he could always be heard. Then again, from what he understood Zim's brain was actually a computer chip contained inside his PAK. In that case... "Do they link up to your PAK and see your memories, or-?"

" _Aaaaaahhhhh_ I cannot hear _yooooouuuuu_!" Zim closed his eyes and hollered up toward the ceiling, then slammed his fists back down on the table and glared. "What do you not understand about _shutting up_?!" Zim lowered his voice to nearly a whisper. "I've already said too much. You say you want things to be better? Then silence your noise hole or they will ruin us _both_!"

Dib swallowed. So the Empire really could connect to Zim's PAK and see his recorded memories. If they heard him talking about the wrong thing, he'd get in trouble. This was probably why so many Irkens were chained up in those Defect facilities.

"Fine, you alien _scum_ ," Dib said in a tone of voice that he knew Zim would pick up on. "You're still a menace and my lifelong rival! I get it now, what happened at the facility meant _nothing_ to you. You chased me there because you knew I found the location, and you needed to make sure I didn't somehow escape and sneak anything out of there. Here you are protecting your stupid Empire as always, and now you're going to try and kill me!"

"Of course, human." Zim smirked, relief washing over his features. "I _will_ destroy you for your actions against the Empire."

"You'll never win, Zim!" Dib couldn't help smirking back, a large part of him still greatly enjoying their banters.

" _Human_ ," Zim rolled his eyes, though the mirth was quite clear in his tone. "You will _never_ win. If you were ever going to, then you would have by now you _fool_."

"Same to you, you bug eyed..."

Dib could see someone approaching their table so he stopped his insult mid-flare.

"Here you go!" the waitress said as she set two plates down on the table. Each contained eight different bite-sized rice cakes with brightly colored icing on top, and a pair of chopsticks. Before Dib could ask what they were, she had walked off toward the kitchens again without a word. There would definitely be a phone call to their manager later...

Dib was suddenly very aware of how quiet it was. It didn't feel strained or awkward, but something was off. Perhaps it was Zim's less-than-direct admittance of the changes Dib had been seeing, or maybe it was the uncomfortable knowledge that Dib really did need to be careful about what he said around Zim. The Irken himself didn't seem to be thinking about the matter much anymore, though. He was instead looking down at his cakes with strong apprehension and dislike, as though afraid they might kill him somehow.

Dib picked up his chopsticks, deciding that he'd just have to be the one to try the cakes first. He lifted up what he prayed was a strawberry rice-cake and examined it carefully, just in case Zim's paranoia was right for once. When he was certain that it wasn't harboring a deadly disease, he popped it into his mouth. The taste was immediately sweet, and a lot better than he'd expected. Zim was staring at him with wide eyes, as though expecting him to drop dead at any moment.

"It's good," Dib said with a smile, motioning over to Zim's plate. "You should try one."

" _Never_!" Zim shouted loudly and shook his head dramatically.

Dib shrugged and ate a chocolate flavored one. "I mean, if you're too scared then that's okay. Maybe no one will care that you aren't eating even though _everyone else_ is."

Zim glared fiercely at him from across the table, and then down at his plate. He seemed to deliberate for a while, until suddenly he snatched up his chopsticks. After looking at the way Dib was holding them, he tried to position them the same way in his own hand. He growled as they continued to fall off his fingers and onto the table, despite his best efforts.

"Jeez, you've got them upside down!" Dib sighed and set his chopsticks down. He reached across the table to grab Zim's hand, ignoring the way the Irken tensed up at the contact. He quickly flipped the utensils around so that they were positioned correctly, and then slowly moved Zim's three fingers. "See?" He said, opening and closing Zim's hand with the chopsticks still in place. "You just hold them like that."

"Z-Zim knew that..." Zim muttered and pulled his hand away. His cheeks were darker than the rest of his face, and Dib suddenly felt very awkward. Not only was he remembering the text message his sister had sent earlier, but he was realizing that he'd just been holding Zim's hand, in a roundabout way. Dib quickly pulled his phone back out to check if Gaz had sent a response, though it was mostly to try and change his own mental train of thought.

' _Have fun with ur bf, don't put out on the first date tho._ '

Dib groaned and deleted the text without responding, stuffing his phone back into his pocket. He looked back up just in time to see Zim stab one of the cakes with a single chopstick and stuff it in his mouth, no longer holding the chopsticks correctly. He chewed for a bit before his eyes brightened up.

"You like it?" Dib asked hopefully.

"Of course not," replied Zim with what was clearly a forced scowl. "I am merely acquiring an _immunity_ to this planet's _filth_."

"Yeah, sure," Dib rolled his eyes. "How's that ' _immunity_ ' tasting?"

"Like sewage, Dib!" Zim huffed as he stabbed another cake and popped it into his mouth, chewing with far too much enthusiasm to convince Dib of anything. " _Raw sewage_!"

Dib couldn't help thinking about the previous topic again. It was odd, having this new perspective of things. Certainly Zim was still very paranoid by nature, but knowing that some part of it stemmed from a fear of the Empire seeing him... It was very disorienting. Did Zim _really_ not like the cakes, or was he faking it?

Dib picked up his glass from the far side of the table to take a drink of his water. He had a feeling that at least as far as the first few years Zim had been on Earth, the Irken really had despised all things relating to this planet. But he could tell that a lot of things had grown on Zim now, including these cakes. The Irken just couldn't risk admitting it, and Dib also couldn't risk calling him out on it anymore.

He really needed to read the rest of those PAK files.

"How are the cakes?!" the overly cheerful waitress chirped, walking up to the table with a grin so wide it looked painful.

"They’re awful!" Zim barked angrily, though the way he immediately ate one afterward left his statement standing without much weight. "Tell your Miya leader that she needs to give up and find a new career!"

"Well that’s just wonderful!" the waitress replied stupidly and set a ticket down on the table. "There’s your check for whenever you’re ready! Unless you’d like me to split it?"

Dib looked over at Zim, raising an eyebrow in question as he pulled out his credit card.

"What?" Zim asked with a frown on his face. "Obviously I don’t have any money."

"Well that’s very nice for you to ask him out!" the waitress giggled at Dib, snatching the credit card out of his hand before walking off with it and the check. Dib glared after her furiously, his face red and his ego in pieces. There would _definitely_ be a phone call to the manager.

"What did she mean?" Zim asked once she’d gone into the kitchens.

"Nothing!" Dib said much too quickly. Thankfully all he got back was a glare, as opposed to the tabletop crawling attack he’d received earlier.

"Well if nothing else requires my presence, I will be on my way." Zim scooted out of the booth and stretched his arms above his head a bit before walking away from the table. Dib didn’t try to stop him, deciding that _not_ being seen at a cafe with Zim anymore was in his best interest. Besides, he had something he could do while he waited to get his credit card back.

Dib pulled out his phone and brought up the Irken file from before, scrolling down to where he’d left off.

_Forced Loyalty: All Irkens will display loyalty and adoration to those above them in the Empire, such as to the Tallest, Control Brains, and higher ranking Irkens. The Tallest will always follow through on any order given by a Control Brain, though they will believe it was their own idea entirely. They will not take orders from any other source. They can lead on their own when appropriate, but must adhere to any restrictions put in place by the Control Brains. Any Irken showing loyalty to an inappropriate source is Defective._

Dib immediately found himself thinking back to when Zim had helped him in the facility. That would almost certainly count against him on this matter. Whether Zim would admit to it or not, he'd chosen to rescue Dib instead of giving him to the Empire. Hell, the fact that he'd even gone there at all instead of just telling the Tallest that Dib had found the facility's location was probably enough of a crime on its own. Zim's little made-up excuse about following Dib there to make sure he didn't harm the Empire only worked up until the point where he'd had the chance to kill him... and didn't.

Their promise surely went against this as well, as it involved Zim making agreements with the enemy.

Actually, speaking of instances where Zim had broken Irken rules, what about the stuff he'd read earlier, about Irkens having limited heights and blocked reproductive capabilities? Zim had been growing quite a bit over the years, having managed to keep pace with Dib somehow. Had Zim already surpassed his height limit? He was pretty sure that the Tallest hadn’t checked up on him much over the years, so it was possible...

_Emotional Filtering: Irkens should only experience positive emotions toward the Empire. Compassion, love, and other such feelings are only used toward the Tallest and Control Brains, and should be limited even toward other Irkens of a similar or lower status. Negative emotions are permitted for all other purposes and races. Irkens showing positive or negative emotions to the wrong sources are Defective._

Dib frowned, remembering multiple instances of Zim breaking this rule too - times when they'd laughed at something silly together, or any of the many instances when they'd helped one another. Zim had even yelled furiously at the Tallest quite recently, and hadn’t he been legitimately depressed when Dib had given up on chasing him all those years ago? In all of the examples, Zim had simply acted on impulse and emotion without thinking first.

Dib absentmindedly took his credit card back from the waitress as she came by, too distracted with his phone to say much more than a mumbled thanks.

_Forced Mentality: Any Irken acting inappropriately, including the Tallest, can be overpowered by the Control Brains. The instructions given will be performed automatically by the Irken, though this is only used in extreme circumstance. If the Irken attempts to override the order at all, they are Defective._

It was at this point that Dib found himself double-taking and re-reading the new section. Forced Mentality? How was that even possible? Their PAKs could already dictate who they felt loyal to, and determine which emotions they could feel. Now they could outright _force_ them to think or do things? Like, full on? Not just subconsciously?

Had this ever been done to Zim? Dib wasn't aware of any specific instances, and he honestly doubted that the Empire was paying enough attention to really care about what Zim was doing. But if they ever _had_ , Zim probably wouldn't have known. It didn't say directly, but he had a hunch that any Irken affected by this command wouldn't be aware that it wasn't their own decision.

_Dependency: At birth, an Irken's PAK will bury into their back via two cables, one in the upper back and one in the lower. If these cables are disconnected in any way, a ten minute countdown will begin. If both PAK cables are not connected after the given ten minutes, the Irken will be put into a death-like state. The Irken will remain this way until re-connection occurs, or until the body dies of malnutrition. Any Irken without a fully connected and functioning PAK is a danger to the Empire. These Irkens are highly Defective._

_Defective Irkens: Irkens suspected of being Defective can be summoned to any number of additional Trials after their first. All Defective Irkens are dangerous and will be used exclusively for experimentation. These experiments will improve the Empire, and will allow the Defect to continue serving its purpose even in "death." Defective Irkens will be hooked up to life support inside Defect Facilities, located outside of known Irken space for secrecy. Any unauthorized Irken found inside of a Defect Facility is to be immediately captured, publically deemed Defective and hooked up to life support for experimentation._

Dib set his phone down on the table and leaned back in his seat, unable to stop himself from laughing. Typical... Just fucking _typical_. This was something he would have _died_ to find out years ago to use against Zim. He would have gone to absolutely _any length_ to get him confined to a facility for being Defective on literally every single one of these points. And yet here he was, wanting to find a way to disable Zim's PAK instead.

It was almost unfair how this all turned out. This _should_ have been the moment he'd been waiting for, but instead it just made his stomach turn. Apparently Irkens were actually just slaves to these Control Brains and they didn't even know…

When an Irken was born, it was immediately hooked up to a PAK with these awful functions already pre-installed, and it kept them ignorant and under complete control. But removing the PAK would not only get them killed on sight, but apparently the actual PAK _itself_ would be the one to destroy them somehow. It was a trap that moved in an endless cycle, with no way out.

Zim... he was in _serious_ danger, wasn't he? If anyone in the Empire found out that he’d been to that facility, or that this stolen data chip was on Earth, Zim would be done for. He could get called to another Trial and they would definitely see all of the countless instances of him breaking these rules since his previous one. Not even the ocean of alibis Zim had created for any situation would save him.

Suddenly Dib felt extremely torn. Should he tell Zim about all of this? Should he just give him the data file and let him read it on his own and really understand what the Empire was doing? Or should he stay quiet about it?

Letting Zim know about this would only put him in more danger, and Zim definitely wouldn't believe any of it anyway. He would just accuse Dib of making up fake documents to confuse him. But Dib couldn't just sit there and do _nothing_! So... what should he do?

Dib closed his eyes and let the back of his head rest against the wall behind his booth. He needed to be very careful about his next move.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: I'm just going to say this now, before I get a ton of PMs about it - No, "Productivity Advancement Kit" is not canon. I made that up myself for the sake of the story, but I think it fits pretty well. There has never been any official acronym given for the PAK.


	7. Disconnected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta Readers: Vertorm

Rev walked through the city streets with a scowl on his holographic human face. The smells were revolting, the sights offensive, and the noises created a painful cacophony on his hidden antennas.

The human Smeets were the worst of all, with their sticky appendages and ceaseless screaming. It was quite clear from the biological scans he'd taken that this species reproduced sexually, and therefore these horrible creatures should have parents attending to them. However, none of the fully grown humans seemed to pay any attention to the offspring, thus encouraging the Smeets to cause all sorts of unaccountable chaos - such as splattering some sort of cold, acidic, neon-blue liquid onto Rev's black and white Invader suit! The ' _Sluggey'_ , as the container had been labeled, had gotten into his fake brown hair, all over his tan skin and even into his green eyes. To top it off, it had burned horribly.

As an infiltrator he'd seen plenty of polluted planets before, but this had to be one of the worst. The only one he could think of off the top of his head that had been more sickening was the planet Grotla, which had once contained a population of ravenous zombie-like rodents called Grots. They were completely mindless, roaming about their planet aimlessly and killing anything they came across - especially other Grots. They'd once been quite intelligent, but ultimately self destruction was their downfall. The Invader that had been stationed there had sat in his Voot for the entire mission and watched as they did all the work for him.

It was appalling just how similar these humans were to the Grots, and yet Zim hadn't taken them out yet. Admittedly the humans were a bit more intelligent than... no, that wasn't the correct word. They had _instincts_ still, that was it - enough to reproduce and keep their society barely functioning, but that was all. Their awareness was laughably low, and their ambition was entirely gone. All any Invader had to do was set off a biological weapon and let it spread across the planet, _done_. It was simple, cheap, quick, the humans would be too stupid to stop it, and Zim would have been promoted many years ago. He might even have had a better Trial for it.

There was no excuse for this, even _Zim_ could manage such an easy mission. He'd never met him personally, but any Irken who could pilot a ship could push a button to ignite a bomb. So there had to be something here that Zim valued more than his mission or even his own reputation. He was protecting something at the cost of his safety. It was the only explanation and it was _treason_. Even if Zim hadn't been the one to infiltrate the facility, just this observation alone was enough to exterminate him. And unfortunately for Zim, The First couldn't protect him this time.

But what item of such value could _possibly_ exist on a filth-ball like this? Perhaps he could sell it to the Empire after dealing with Zim.

Rev looked down at his scanner when it gave a loud beep. _Finally_ it had picked up an Irken technology signature! His ship had pinpointed the relative area of Zim's base, but finding the exact location was harder. He had to resort to ground-work for that, searching about until his hand-held device could trace it. Now that he'd found it, he'd just have to-

A sudden crash nearby startled Rev, his PAK panels immediately opening just in case a fight was in order. However, he didn't pull out any weapons; instead, he looked around carefully and prepared himself, until he realized it was a SIR unit that had caused the noise. After a moment of observation, his alertness lowered into confusion.

The SIR unit, likely the one assigned to Zim, appeared to be attacking a service stand selling some sort of food called 'tacos'. It didn't appear to be doing so to destroy the humans, however, but to... _eat_ the food?

Rev covered his mouth and gagged as the robot began shoveling the terribly pungent, fleshy-smelling tacos into his mouth and swallowing them whole. Apparently Zim's robot was just as defective as he was. How fitting.

It occurred to Rev that it might just be easier to follow this crazed SIR unit around until it lead him to Zim. It had to be his, there were no other Irkens on the planet and it would have to return to him eventually. This way he could use the scanner to instead find a DNA match to the human target, thus accomplishing both goals at the same time. Yes, that would be much more efficient in the long run.

Normally such a mission would be very difficult, as SIR units could fly and humans could not. If the robot chose to blast off somewhere, Rev wouldn't be able to keep up without drawing attention to himself. However, he had a pretty good hunch that such actions would be ignored in this case.

As the SIR unit began flying around in circles and screaming happily, the humans staring at him with blank expressions and then walking away, Rev felt a smirk cross his face. This would be his easiest mission yet.

********************

Zim typed quickly at his main control panel, keeping his eyes directed at the screen in front of him. His expression was glazed and unfocused, his fingers merely re-typing the same mathematical equation over and over again. Whatever project he'd been working on had been lost quite some time ago, along with his train of thought. After closing his eyes, Zim took a deep breath and released it slowly. He ceased his pointless typing and slumped back down into his chair.

He just needed to face it... He was too distracted to get anything done.

It was his own fault, as much as he _loathed_ to admit it. This was what he got for snooping around too much. While the Dib had certainly contributed to the worsening of the situation, Zim couldn't blame it entirely on him no matter how much he wanted to. None of this would have happened if Zim had simply not asked for help. That had been his initial mistake, with many others following along in its wake - particularly the one he'd made in the cafe.

He'd felt pressured and rushed, and had accidentally given out enough implications for Dib to piece together how the Trials worked. Even if Dib had feigned ignorance for the sake of Zim's memory banks, it didn't change the fact that Dib _knew_. At the rate this was going, Zim would be dragged back to that facility for sure!

Zim shivered and shook his head to try and clear away the horrible images of comatose Irkens. Being separated from their PAKs in such a way should have killed them. That's what he'd always been told. An Irken was an advanced artificial intelligence that was hooked up to a cloned host-body. If one died - either the Irken or the PAK - so did the other. The Tallest, the Control Brains, his instructors, fellow Invaders, other Irkens... _everyone_ knew that.

So why hadn't those Irkens been dead?

And while he was on it, why hadn't the Tallest called him back to reschedule their check-up yet? As much as he wanted to believe that they were just distracted, he was becoming more and more suspicious that there was more to it. Perhaps they were going to interrogate him, or maybe they'd just order him straight to the Massive. Whatever it was, it wouldn't be good.

Zim rubbed his forehead with his hands. _Enough_... He needed to just forget all of this and act normally. What was done, was done, and there was no changing it now. If the Tallest called and he seemed nervous he'd only look more suspicious. By snooping around he'd already started digging his own grave, and he didn't need to make it any deeper.

With a sigh, Zim began typing once more. He tried to figure out where he'd left off, but almost immediately his mind was trailing off again. He'd been planning... something... "Soon the humans will bow down to me!" Zim said for good measure when he couldn't figure out what that _something_ was, though his usual enthusiasm wasn't there. It hadn't been for quite some time. Not with all the stress from-

Zim growled and stood up with a loud ' _smack!_ ' of his fists on the console. This was ridiculous! He needed a real distraction or something. The more he tried to focus, the more his mind wandered and all of his insecurities came out. He'd never get his mind to _shut up_ at this rate!

"I'd better see if Gir's back," Zim said to himself, making sure to come up with a believable excuse to randomly leave his work like this. Gir had been so hyperactive that morning that Zim had been forced to kick him out of the house for a while. But he'd be back eventually, and hopefully he'd be calmer.

Zim walked with confidence, even if his stomach was still twisting into knots. No, _no_ , he was strong! He could get through this! Everything was fine. No one was going to find out where he'd been or what he'd said, and he was not going to have another Trial. What reason would they have to suspect him? He just needed to get himself back together and stop making so many damned mistakes!

Zim reached the elevator after only a moment or two and stepped inside, pressing the button that would take him to the top level of the house. As the lift ascended, Zim found his foot tapping fearfully all by itself. He picked it up and stomped it back down on the elevator floor to make it _cease_ it's foolish movements!

"Gir!" Zim hollered as soon as the elevator reached the top and opened the door, his personal frustrations coming out in his voice. "Are you here?"

"Look!" came Gir's happy squeal from the living room, causing Zim to immediately feel more exhausted than before.

Zim made his way over to the couch and slumped down, scowling at the Angry Monkey show. The fact that it was _still airing_ after this many years left Zim even more than certain of the earth's eventual demise. A society this stupid couldn't possibly last for long. Even if he wasn't the one to end the Earth, _something_ would.

"He's funny, just like the other guy!" Gir laughed and flailed his arms around for a moment or two before sitting perfectly still again. He stared at the TV with his mouth open and his eyes wide.

"Mm," Zim hummed in pretend-understanding. He really didn't want to try deciphering Gir's remarks when he was already this drained, even if he appreciated the robot's presence. While Zim usually preferred his privacy, more and more often these days he didn't want to be alone. Gir provided a great source of distraction, and unlike with Dib, he could actually talk to Gir without worrying about the consequences. It was okay to treat him as a friend in the eyes of the Empire.

Zim found himself watching the TV unintentionally. Before he knew it he'd sat there for a quite a while, his mind growing more and more blank with each passing minute. He wasn't sure how much time had actually passed before he snapped his eyes shut and shook his head. He felt his mind sharpening and his attention span returning quickly enough, but it bothered him how hypnotic that garbage was. No wonder the humans just kept getting dumber and dumber!

Then again, Dib watched quite a bit of TV and somehow his brain didn't seem to be rotting away in his skull. Zim had always known Dib to be different from the rest of his species, but maybe the difference was entirely physical. A more superior gene, perhaps? Some kind of immunity? He'd never seen the point of looking into it, but maybe doing so would help with his research. Learning why one human was so much stronger than the rest could help him exploit whatever it was that made the majority so weak.

Zim jumped with fright when the earthly cell phone he kept in his PAK began ringing. He pulled it out and stared at it for a moment, not sure which button to press. He so rarely used it that he always forgot how to make it work the next time he tried. However, after pressing random buttons for a while, he eventually heard a voice through the speaker at the bottom.

"Jeez..." Dib sighed, though there was a trace of laughter in his voice. "Every time you answer the phone there's just this _wild flurry_ of button mashing in my ear!"

"As if I want to _actually_ learn how to use such a lowly communicator!" Zim scoffed once he'd managed to hold the phone against his head correctly, sitting back on the couch to get more comfortable. "What do you want? You usually call to taunt me, but what you _fail to realize_ is that my newest plan is-!"

"I'm not taunting you this time," Dib cut Zim off before he could start his rant. "I just need you to answer a quick question for me."

"Get to the point," Zim rolled his eyes dramatically, failing to completely hide the disappointment in his voice. He'd really wanted to gloat about his plan...

"Sooooo..." Dib trailed off a bit, his voice sounding suspiciously hesitant. After a moment or two, he seemed to find the words he was looking for. "What fuel source is best for a Voot Cruiser? There are so many kinds and I don't know which one is right."

Zim sat forward on the couch with a growl. "Did you hack into the Irken shopping network?!"

"Whaaaat?!" Dib gasped in mock-innocence. "Me? _Never_!"

"Get out of the system, Dib!" Zim hollered into the phone. "I'm not helping you buy the tools to build a Voot Cruiser!"

"Just hear me out, okay?" Dib's voice was a lot more serious now. "You can leave this planet whenever you want, right? Just fly off and do whatever you feel like... But I'm _stuck here_ now that... _you know_." Dib left emphasis on his obvious reference to Tak's lost ship. "I know you can imagine how it would feel to have no way off this planet."

"I dunno, Foodcourtia might be worse..." Zim said with a shiver before something else occurred to him. "Gah, wait a minute! I thought you loved your smelly Earth-ball! Why do you want to leave it so badly?"

"I do love it!" Dib quickly replied. "I don't want anything bad to happen to the Earth, but you know... I also want to be able to leave sometimes. I don't want to be trapped here."

In the back of his mind, Zim understood completely. In fact, being able to think such a thing was one of the few possessions he really had. The Empire, no matter how many times they scanned his PAK, could never touch his thoughts. That little bit of freedom was very important to him, and it made it easy to understand how Dib felt about this. Not that flying ships was the same sort of thing, but it was freedom nonetheless.

The problem was that Zim couldn't say any of that to him out loud. Even if he wanted to help Dib build a new ship, since that was _clearly_ what he was doing, he couldn't possibly do it without causing even more trouble for himself than he was already in. Unless...

"Begone with you," Zim flicked the wrist of his free hand, even if Dib couldn't see it. "I'll buy fuel for my _own_ ship and I _definitely_ won't have it shipped to my front door on Friday night! So don't you dare come over here around 8pm, because there _won't_ be any fuel for your filthy monkey hands to take!"

Dib was quiet for a moment, and then he seemed to catch on. "Oh, don't you worry. I definitely _won't_ show up then."

"Good!" Zim smirked, happy that their newly formed secret code seemed to be working easily enough. "Now _get out_ of the computer system!"

"I dunno..." Dib's tone of voice made the smirk on his face quite obvious. "I mean, we both know you're cheating _our_ systems by having a working cell phone. So why shouldn't I cheat _your_ systems?"

"Rot in a sewer!" Zim hollered over the sound of Dib's laughter, mashing buttons on the phone and then throwing it onto the couch. Filthy human, always twisting things around and getting away with it! He'd show him... oh, he'd _show him_!

"I'm going back down to the base!" Zim declared loudly as he stood back up and walked toward the kitchen.

"Tell the other guy hi!" Gir squeaked without looking away from the television. Zim didn't pay the remark much attention, until Gir continued. "He found me at the _taco stand_! And then he flew _aaaaaaaallllllllllll_ the way here with his PAK! He likes you."

Zim stopped moving and stood very still in the doorway to the kitchen, a chill running up his back. He replayed the robot's remark over in his mind a few times before deciding that he needed further clarification, immediately.

"What did you just say...?" Zim asked Gir very seriously. He backed up into the center of living room again, and when he didn't see anything unusual, he looked back down at Gir. The little robot gave him a big smile, his expression as bright and excited as ever. Zim frowned as Gir's eyes moved away from him and over to a spot just above his left shoulder. It was a slow movement, but Zim caught it nonetheless - Gir was looking at someone else now.

Zim spun around as quickly as he could, his heart stopping dead in his chest. Everything was a blur of motion as he threw his arms up and tried to leap back, but he hadn't begun the motion soon enough; there was just enough time for his blood to run cold before something impacted hard against his head.

A metallic taste filled his mouth as a white light exploded in front of his eyes. He realized vaguely that he'd just been hit by a stunning blast from an energy gun, but it was hard to focus on the thought as his body fell to the floor. Everything around him was moving even after he'd landed, his stomach giving a painful, nauseous jerk. The only sound he could pick up through the sharp ringing in his head were the footsteps that were approaching him.

"What an interesting conversation, _traitor_ ," a disgusted voice verbally spat at him. "Do you make friends with _all_ your enemies, or just that one?"

With an exceptional amount of willpower, Zim got back up on his feet and pulled out his PAK legs, activating his energy shield. The metal legs fanned out and a protective circle formed around his body just in time to deflect a second gunshot, which had been expertly aimed at his head. The shot bounced off and ricocheted outside through the window.

_Shields down to 70%._

Zim glared and clenched his fists at the PAK's notification. What kind of weapon could do that much damage with just one shot?! It was hard to make out who his attacker was through the distortion of his shield, but they were definitely Irken. Even if they currently looked human, the disguise was made obvious by their PAK.

The assailant didn't waste any time, quickly firing off three more shots. Zim was still extremely disoriented from the first hit and only managed to move fast enough to dodge the last one as he leapt and rolled behind the couch. Each shot blasted out through the walls and into the neighboring buildings, the first two having ricocheted off his shield again.

_Shields down to 10%_

Zim crouched down and shook his head to try and get himself together. Everything was moving in slow motion, but he needed to think fast! One more shot and he'd be exposed. He didn't have time to be dizzy!

"Computer!" Zim called out, but there was no reply. No matter how sarcastic his home-security was, that definitely wasn't normal behavior for it. Had the system been sabotaged?

"Surrender for your crimes against the Empire!" boomed the Irken's voice from over the couch, sending a violent lurch through the pit of Zim's stomach. Someone must have followed him from the facility!

Zim's eyes flashed back and forth desperately as he watched both sides of the couch. A split second later he saw what he was looking for - an approaching shadow on the left side. Zim pressed the edge of his energy shield against the back of the couch and shoved it as hard as he could. It slid forward, slamming into his attacker and knocking him down momentarily.

After folding up his PAK legs to give himself more agility, Zim took off running alongside the wall as fast as he could. However, he only managed to get as far as the end of the couch before he heard another gunshot.

"Mastah!" Gir's voice shrieked from just a few feet behind him. Zim clenched his eyes shut and covered his head with his arms, but the expected impact didn't come. Instead there was a loud metallic ringing noise, as if something had collided with a large, hollow bell. Or with Gir, as it appeared to have been once Zim turned around to check.

Gir shook violently as electric sparks surged up his small body. He stood still for a moment, until his eyes went black and his body fell to the floor. He didn't move or twitch except for his head, which slowly rolled away. Gir had taken the hit for him.

Before Zim could react, the enemy Irken pulled down on his gun's trigger and held it. A massive ball of clear-blue energy began pooling at the end of the barrel. The sight snapped Zim back to reality and with a roar of rage, he pulled his own gun out of his PAK. He shot furiously at the energy ball before it could finish forming, causing it to shiver and explode prematurely.

Thankfully for Zim, he had already been next to the wall when the explosion hit him. His assailant, however, hadn't been so lucky - his body flew backward and slammed against the front door with a painful ' _thud_ ' as his PAK legs were snapped off. The door was barely attached to the wall still, and the windows on either side had shattered from the force.

Zim bolted forward and yanked his attacker away from the door. His adrenaline had begun to numb the pain as he threw the other Irken roughly to the floor. Once he'd straddled over him, Zim pressed his enemy's wrists down against the carpet as his PAK's panels began opening outward. However, before could pull his PAK legs out enough to begin skewering his opponent as intended, the pinned Irken yanked his legs up and slammed the panels shut. The sudden hit against his back knocked Zim forward, causing him to let go and catch himself. The assailant quickly repeated the motion and sent Zim flipping forward.

Zim's head hit the floor hard, causing another burst of white light to fill his vision. However, it was the second stunning blast to the head that finally did him in. Zim curled up into a ball, the ringing in his head now so loud he couldn't hear anything else, and the light behind his eyes not fading even when he closed them. He tasted copper in his mouth, and his stomach was lurching nauseously.

Zim gasped for air and then choked, having to clench his teeth to stop himself from throwing up. _'No... No, no, no, think!'_ Zim thought frantically to himself as he tried to at least get on his hands and knees. ' _I have to do something before-!_ '

An ice cold fear shot through his veins when he felt something touch his PAK. More specifically, fingers hooking around the underside of it. Zim tried to thrash and twist away, but he wasn't fast enough to prevent his PAK from being torn off.

_10:00…  9:59… 9:58…_

Zim cried out as an intense, burning pain seared up his back. He lashed out wildly and managed to twist around. However, the Irken simply pressed his boot down firmly against Zim's chest and pinned him to the floor. Zim tried to move out from under him, but his body was just too weak now. The furious adrenaline boost had finally run out and his energy was crashing severely.

"Not bad, for an Invader." The Irken spat some blood onto the floor nearby as he glared down at Zim, the wrecked PAK held tightly in his hand. A few seconds later his disguise faded away, revealing blue Irken eyes, antennas and green skin. "You fight halfway decent, so you clearly just don't take your mission seriously. One more sin to your name."

Zim glared fiercely through his fear. "What... do you want... _scum_?" He managed to get out, trying not to look as nervous as he actually felt. No matter how scared he was deep down, he didn't want his enemies to see it.

"Where's the human?" The Irken responded without answering Zim's question, his antennas on high alert.

"What human?!" Zim shouted back, even if it made his temples throb to do so. He didn't mean Dib, did he?

"I _said_ ," The Irken kicked Zim hard in the gut with each emphasis of his demands. " _Where_ is the _human_ who _helped_ you?!"

"I don't..." Zim cringed and gagged a bit from the blows. "I don't know what... you're talking about!"

"Do you think I'm _stupid_?!" The Irken yelled and kicked him one last time, crouching  down and yanking Zim's head up by his antennas. Zim hissed as his enemy began speaking down at him. "Alien sympathizing, infiltration, theft of classified information, withholding from the Tallest, and implied distribution of Irken goods to humans! Any one of these is enough for the Control Brains to condemn you, and you've managed all of them at once! I'm Rev, an _Enforcer_! You have no chance of escaping punishment from us!"

Zim burst into laughter, though the pressure it created on his head caused him to wince at the end. "The Control Brains... are inferior... The Tallest... will hear me."

_8:59... 8:58..._

It was Rev's turn to laugh this time, though it was much lower than Zim's. "You don't know anything, _Invader_ , and you never will. The Tallest cannot protect you. By the time you wake up from this, you'll be back with the other Defects."

Zim growled and kicked fiercely, but his legs were much heavier than normal and fell short of their target.

Rev scoffed in disgust and let go of Zim's antennas finally, still crouched down beside him. "So weak... and terribly defensive for someone who claims to not know anything."

Zim glared and grit his teeth, trying to calm down enough to think of a plan. He couldn't let his timer reach 0. He didn't know what would happen anymore if it did, and hated the fear it was causing him. Would he die, or would he just pass out like the Defective Irkens in the facility? Did something special have to be done to prevent him from dying that only those facilities could do? What would he wake up to?

For the first time in many, many years, Zim felt truly terrified. While he didn't want to die, he would sooner choose that over going back to that place. Without his PAK though, he had no real way to defend himself.

"Last chance," Rev stood back up and pulled a syringe out of his pocket, having clipped the gun back to his belt. "Where's the human? If you tell me, I might be kind enough to make his death quick and painless. You and your PAK will still have to be taken to the Control Brains so they can examine your memory banks, but you can at least prevent your _little friend_ from suffering too."

"Shut up!" Zim spat up at his enemy against his better judgment. Zim immediately regretted his decision as Rev reached down and backhanded him in the face before stabbing the syringe into Zim’s arm.

"You remember the Purge?" Rev said calmly after injecting half of the strange purple substance from the tube. "This is a liquid form. It's significantly more potent than gas."

Zim clenched his eyes shut and whimpered unintentionally, his body cramping and seizing up. At first he just felt numb, but once the pain kicked in it was almost unbearable. Nothing would move other than his mouth and eyes, which he'd already shut. His joints felt as though they had glass shards in them, and his skin was getting clammy and cold at an alarming rate. Every single muscle in his body ached and stung at the slightest attempt to move them.

He had nothing left... no ideas, no way to escape, no PAK to access his weapons, nothing to heal himself with...

_7:59... 7:58..._

When Zim opened his eyes, he saw Rev walking around his body on the floor, but stopped when his foot smacked into something. It clattered and slid over by Zim, who immediately recognized it as the cell phone he'd thrown on the couch earlier.

Rev paused and reached down to pick up the phone. He turned it around and eyed it condescendingly. "Such primitive technology..." To Zim's surprise, most of the buttons on the phone were lit up. Rev frowned and pulled it up to his head to listen through the speaker. Almost immediately he growled and glared down at Zim. "You left it on! You little-!"

Before Zim could fully comprehend what that meant, an explosive _'bang!_ ’ cut through the house. Someone had kicked the front door in, ripping it off the broken hinges and sending it slamming down to the floor. Rev dropped the phone and spun around as Dib walked inside, a large gun held tightly in his hands and pointed straight at Rev's head.

Zim tried to shriek at Dib to get away, but no sound came out. ' _No, no!_ ' desperation surged through him as he watched the way Rev hid the syringe in the palm of his hand. ' _The Purge... it will kill him instantly!_ '

_6:59... 6:58..._

Rev eyed Dib up and down for a moment. "Well, well, you must be the human I've been looking for. How convenient."

Dib looked past Rev and over at Zim, his eyes widening as he assessed the situation. When he saw the state of Zim's PAK, which was still held loosely in Rev's uncaring hand, his eyes narrowed into a dangerous glare. He raised the gun a little higher and looked his enemy straight in the eyes. "I promised myself I would never kill anyone unless I absolutely had to." Dib's voice was filled with a kind of hatred that Zim hadn't heard in a very long time. "I've always managed to find another way, _always_... But I'm finding it really hard to care right now!"

Rev scoffed and tossed Zim's PAK into the corner with a shake of his head. "That is the saddest thing I've ever heard in over four hundred years! You _don't kill_? And you're friends with him?!" Rev motioned over to Zim in complete disbelief, and then burst into laughter.

A loud shot from Dib's gun rang out, the bullet grazing Rev's shoulder. The Irken glanced at the small cut on his skin, his smile not fading in the least. "Alright, _human_." Rev sneered and clutched the syringe tightly. "Let's see if you can find _another way_ today!"

Desperation slammed against Zim's chest as Dib began firing and backing up. Rev lunged at him, dodging all but one of the bullets. The last shot hit the attacking Irken's side, but aside from a small wince it didn't seem to slow him down at all. Instead, Rev swiped at Dib's chest with the hand that secretly held the syringe. Dib dodged to the side just in time to avoid the strike, not seeming to have noticed that his enemy was holding something yet.

Zim felt a surge of energy course through him as he tried to move again. Something... a finger, antenna, arm, leg, _anything_! He had to do _something_ , but the pain in his body was so sharp that it seemed to cut through him like knives! He refused to stop though, forcing himself far past his normal limits. His muscles shrieked at him to stop, but when a pained moan escaped his throat, he felt hope soar through him. He'd made a sound... His voice had come back! If he could manage that, then he could find a way to move!

Zim took a deep breath and steeled himself for a moment. This was going to hurt _a lot_.

A few feet away Dib had lunged forward and dropped down, kicking his leg out and managing to get Rev stumbling to the side. He quickly reached over and grabbed Rev's leg to pull him further off balance, and the Irken went down. However, Rev used his momentum to twist around and land on his back instead, throwing his legs out and landing back up on his feet. Dib was already standing with his gun pointed forward.

Zim channeled all of his strength into his arms and lifted himself up onto his elbows. To his great surprise, he didn't feel anywhere near as much pain as he'd expected; his adrenalin had exploded and seemed to be numbing him again, though it would be horrific afterward.

_5:59... 5:58..._

Rev, who's PAK legs were still repairing themselves, seemed to settle on pulling the gun off his belt even if it meant provoking Dib into shooting - which it did. Just as before, Rev managed to dodge all but the last bullet. This time, however, it connected firmly with his shoulder. Rev grunted and took a step back, but forced his arm up all the same and fired multiple stunning blasts at Dib.

Zim reached a quivering arm out to try and grab onto something, preferably the couch so he could pull himself forward. Instead his fingers curled around the cell phone that Rev had dropped to the floor just a moment ago. He heard Dib gasp as one of the shots hit him straight in the chest and sent him plummeting to the floor. The human curled up and clenched his eyes shut in a way that Zim had far too much experience with already.

_Now! No more time!_

"D-Dib!" Zim yelled at the top of his lungs. His throat burned fiercely as he continued yelling. "His... hand! Watch out!"

Zim's voice seemed to reach Dib through his stunned haze; the human reached out blindly and grabbed Rev's wrist just as he was about to stab the syringe into his chest. Rev adjusted himself so that he was straddled over Dib, pushing down with both arms. Dib pushed back as best he could after getting hit by the stun gun, but Zim could tell that he wasn't going to win the fight in the long run. Dib's body was far too weak and dizzy after the hit he'd taken.

Dib pulled a knee up between himself and Rev, but even with that, the end of the needle continued moving closer toward him. He was gasping for breath and trying to scoot to the side so the syringe would miss him. Rev seemed to have expected that strategy already though, and was pushing it toward Dib's throat instead.

Zim looked down at the cell phone in his hand and found his resolve; he grit his teeth and prepared himself. After one last inhale of breath, he threw it as hard as he could. The sudden use of not just one, but all of the muscles in his right arm caused an agonized scream to rip out of his throat, but the phone sailed forward all the same. It hit Rev in the head and caused his balance to shift, giving Dib the opportunity he needed. Zim collapsed onto the floor, but didn't move his eyes away from the fight.

Dib pushed Rev's wrists up while he was still stumbling to the side from over top of him, and stabbed the needle into his shoulder. Rev gasped and tried to move away, but Dib had already pushed the end of the syringe inward as far as it would go. Rev's body seized and went limp instantly, rolling off and into a heap on the floor with the empty syringe lying between them. Zim released a massive breath that he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

Dib didn't get up immediately. He laid there for another moment or two, gasping for breath and holding his stomach tightly.

_4:59... 4:58..._

The sudden wail of sirens approaching from the distance woke Zim up quite efficiently. After how much gun fire there had been, and how many ricocheted shots had flown into the neighboring homes, those police officers were almost certainly heading to his house. Zim had been a bother to his neighbors for many, many years, but he'd never _shot_ one of them before.

This was it, wasn't it? He would finally be caught by the humans and taken to a lab to be cut open. They would experiment on him just as terribly as the Defect facility - strap him down, use him when they felt like it, discard him for a while, nearly kill him but never do quite enough damage to end it... It was disturbing just how similar Irkens and humans were at times. He'd always viewed the earth's population as vile, and one of the main reasons for that was the way they seemed to lust for alien specimens. So how did the Empire compare when they did the same thing to their own people?

Zim forced his head to move and look around, his fearful breathing coming out in short gasps. To the right was Gir's motionless body with his head just a few more feet away, an eerie smile still plastered on his face. To the left was the kitchen, though all he could really see was the trash can in the corner - wait, the base! He could hide down there!

Dib suddenly appeared nearby and knelt down next to him, though he was still wincing and clutching at his stomach. He had Zim's PAK in his hands and was trying to re-connect it, but the twisted and distorted cables wouldn't do anything. He pressed it to Zim's back, turning it in different directions and pressing harder, but the cables merely hung down limply.

Zim shook and whimpered again - his PAK was broken! That bastard had ruined it! What was going to happen if it couldn't be re-connected?!

The sirens were getting louder as they quickly approached their street. Zim painfully reached over and grabbed both parts of Gir's body while Dib lifted Zim up to his feet. He placed their arms around each other's shoulders and left the PAK on the floor for now. Zim gasped and grit his teeth as he tried to walk forward through the terrible pain. Each step was harder than the last, and he was starting to slow down. Even so, they made it into the kitchen.

Dib helped Zim down against the wall and rushed over to the trash can. Zim tried to relax his muscles as Dib pulled the lid up and quickly pushed the button... but nothing happened. He tried again, smashing it down repeatedly until his finger was red. When nothing happened that time either, he slammed the lid shut with a furious growl.

"Rev..." Zim forced his voice out of his throat, though it came out terribly hoarse. "He did... something..."

"Shit..." Dib cursed and looked toward the windows, flashing lights seeping in from outside. After looking around a bit a bit more, Dib jumped up and ran into the living room.

_3:59... 3:58..._

Zim wouldn't have tried to leave even if he could have, though the amount of time that passed was highly concerning. Eventually Dib did return to the kitchen though, dragging the broken PAK in one hand and Rev in the other. He let them both drop down to the floor and then collapsed to his knees. After a few steadying breaths, he looked over at Zim. "What's your timer at?"

"Three... minutes" Zim tried to breathe slowly but it didn't help at all. The tools to fix his broken PAK cables were all down in the base, but he couldn't get there because of what Rev had done. There wasn't enough time anymore! Even if he started right at that very second, it was already too late. There was nothing that could be done.

' _Don't panic... Just don't panic...!_ '

_2:59... 2:58..._

Zim tried desperately to keep himself together. He wasn't going to die... He'd be okay. Somehow they'd make it out of this. They always did, right? He wouldn't end up like those other Irkens, he _wouldn't_! He couldn't think that way. He-

A quiet sob made its way out of his throat, but he managed to choke it back before it turned into something more. Dib seemed to notice his behavior though, and suddenly he reached over and grabbed Rev around the neck.

"You piece of _shit_!" Dib yelled down at the Irken with hatred in his eyes. "If you don't tell me how to fix the house, then those cops are gonna catch all of us! So unless you want to end up in pieces on an examination table, and trust me, you _won't_ be dead, then you'd better tell me what to _fucking do_!"

Rev looked up at Dib, his breathing coming out in quick gasps. He opened his mouth and tried to speak, but no sound came out. Dib gave him a rough shake and the Irken winced, coughing up blood. Nonetheless, he tried again. "The... override... code..." Rev finally managed to get out. "is... in Irken..."

"I can write Irken characters!" Dib threw Rev back down to the floor and quickly pulled a small tablet out of his jacket pocket. After linking it to the house's system through a port in the trash can, he glared back down at Rev. "Now tell me what it is!"

For a moment Rev seemed to consider whether or not he wanted to answer. However, when the sound of doors opening and shutting came from just outside the house, he looked back up at Dib. "99180... 67204... CTMFE... FTTACB... 20017..."

_1:59... 1:58..._

Dib typed the code as quickly as Rev spoke it, and then shoved the tablet back into his jacket pocket. He pulled up the trash can lid and pressed down on the button again. This time the elevator rose up out of the floor and opened up for them as it was supposed to. Once it was all the way up, Dib pulled Zim and his PAK into the elevator, followed by Rev and Gir a few moments later. Once they were all inside, he smashed the 'down' button and the doors closed around them.

"Dib..." Zim shook from head to toe as they descended toward the base. "Just a minute... and a half... left... I-I can't..." Zim's voice cracked with emotion. The combined weakness from his PAK's disconnection and the Purge injection made it impossible to get up anymore. Just speaking was taking everything he had now. "I'm going to die..."

Dib quickly scooted over to Zim’s side. "Listen..." he whispered quietly down at him. "I know you're afraid but you're going to wake back up, I promise! I just need some time to fix your PAK."

"What if I wake up... in the facility?!" Zim's voice came out in hysterics, his emotions finally spilling over. It took almost an entire lung of air just to say a few words as images of the facility played out painfully in front of his eyes. "Or a human... research lab?! What if I don't... wake up at all?! I'll be dead... for good... I-!"

"Zim, _please_ ," Dib's voice was urgent enough to stop Zim from continuing to ramble, though he was no longer whispering. " _Please_ trust me. I know you aren't supposed to, but I'm not going to let you die! I'll find a way to fix this."

_0:59... 0:58..._

"I... I hate this..." Zim clenched his eyes shut and felt tears run down his face. "I hate... this _weakness_! I can't… do _anything_! _I can't even move!_ " Zim hadn't meant to start yelling, but he couldn't control his emotions at all anymore. His chest was heaving and his entire body was shivering. A sob escaped his throat and he didn't try to stop it. "It's like the Trial... again... all hooked up, and... and you can't... you can't get away! It's the worst thing... to have no power! Always being judged… That's when... when they take... everything away... from you! Because you can't... you can't stop them!"

"I know..." Dib trailed off sadly, though his fists clenched tightly at the same time. "Believe me, I know..."

"I have to be loyal..." Zim closed his eyes and shook his head as a wave of delirium swept over him. The ceiling was glowing from the light bulb attached to it, but between his dizziness and the tears in his eyes, it was all just a blur now. And yet the elevator was getting darker somehow, and his body was feeling lighter every second. "I have to obey... To love the Empire... My Tallest... But it's never enough... I can never do... enough. And now I'm going... I'm going to die... alone... on this horrible-!"

"Stop it!" Dib suddenly looked down at him with a resolve that stopped Zim's words right in their tracks. Dib's expression softened immediately, even if it was out of focus. "Listen to me, I know you're afraid but you're _not_ alone. I'm right here. And you're not _weak_ because you want to live!"

"But I'm... I'm Defective, and-!"

"You are _not_ Defective!" Dib didn't allow Zim to say any more on the matter. "You're just _Zim._ You're unpredictable and hard to control, and that scares them! They try to squash you instead because that's easier. They use scare tactics to keep you obedient, so of course you struggle to be loyal!"

_0:31... 0:30..._

"Thirty seconds..." Zim clenched his eyes shut, unable to do anything else. Dib's words might have meant more if he weren't so dizzy.

"It-It's okay," Dib's voice was a bit shaky as he grabbed Zim's hand and squeezed it. "Please trust me Zim. All those Irkens in the facility were alive. They were just asleep, remember? You'll just go to sleep for a while." There was a pause, and then Dib whispered. "Do you trust me?"

Zim looked up at Dib, though it wasn't easy. His eyelids felt as heavy as boulders and he could barely see anything, but he knew that Dib was there. Something in the human's words comforted him. After all, they'd kept all of their promises so far, hadn't they? But... could Dib really keep this one? He had less knowledge about PAKs than Zim did, and even he had no idea how they really worked. So how could Dib make a promise like that?

_0:16... 0:15..._

Dib simply couldn't know for sure, and yet Zim found that he believed him anyway. He knew without a shred of a doubt that Dib intended to keep his word. Or at the very least he knew that Dib would try as hard as physically possible. Knowing that Dib cared enough to try was more than enough.

Zim had already broken the rules so many times... The Tallest, the Control Brains, the other Invaders, _everyone_ hated him. He was always a disappointment even when he tried his absolute best. So what did it even matter anymore? One more time... eight more times... _no more_ times... No matter what he did, no one but Dib or Gir would care.

_0:06... 0:05..._

"Okay..." Zim barely got the word out as he squeezed Dib’s hand back. He could only hope that Dib had heard him. "I trust... you..."

_0:01... 0:00..._


	8. Propositions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta Readers: Vertorm

Dib grit his teeth and gripped at his hair, his elbows resting on the metal table in front of him. There were various tools and bits of metal strewn about with no order to their placement. It was as though everything had been angrily tossed about and left to lie wherever they landed. Even Dib's jacket was now in a heap on the floor after having slid off the back of his chair many hours ago.

Amongst the chaotic mess of Zim's base were two clear glass pods filled with healing gel and placed side by side against the farthest wall. Dib had been very careful when he'd placed Rev inside the first one, making sure that it wouldn't automatically wake him up once he'd recovered. It was the second pod - the one Zim was in - that would still do so. However, according to every single scan he'd done, Zim was dead.

Zim's PAK was in the middle of the table, all of its panels opened up and ready to be worked on. Dib had now spent nearly forty eight hours digging around in it, trying to learn how it worked. Unfortunately it was so much more advanced than anything he'd ever studied before that he’d barely accomplished anything. All he'd found were the things he already knew about – shields, metal legs, weapons – with no signs of the classified PAK functions anywhere in sight.

What was he doing wrong?! It didn't even make sense for Zim to still be unconscious! The PAK wasn't connected to him anymore, it hadn't been for two days now, so how the hell was an object that was completely disconnected, sending out no wireless signals of any sort, _and_ located all the way on the other side of the room _still_ able to affect him?!

Dib shook his head and took a deep breath. He needed to keep himself calm so he could think clearly. What if the file he'd found was fake, or what if he'd mistranslated it somehow? If the information he had was wrong, then that meant Zim really was just a computer, and that he truly was dead.

 _No_! He would figure it out! He had Irken technology at his disposal, he couldn't give up now! Dib had spent _hours_ negotiating with the computer to let him use the base. At first it had been stubborn, insisting that Dib wasn't supposed to touch anything. Dib's desperation had given him more stamina than usual though, and ultimately he'd irritated the computer to the point of giving in and not caring anymore; as long as Dib agreed to take the brunt of Zim's anger, then he could do whatever he wanted.

After leaning back in his chair and yawning loudly, Dib rubbed his face with his hands. He was so tired... He'd barely slept in two days, had only eaten a few Irken snacks, hadn't showered, and had only been able to convince the computer to add a working toilet to an unused room after thoroughly explaining the consequences if it didn't. He could have left the base easily enough by now if he'd wanted to, since the police only swarmed the upper house during the day. But what if Rev got out somehow? No one would be there to stop him from killing Zim while he was gone!

Dib sighed and looked over at the tubes again; he felt another wave of exhaustion coming around. After this much time, Zim simply should have woken up by now, that much he knew for sure. There had to be some other factor here. He could access the Irken database, but it wasn't like he could trust any of the information provided by the Empire.

Pulling his phone out of his pocket, Dib re-read the stolen facility file in hopes of deciphering something new from it. A thought occurred to him after a few moments of careful consideration - nowhere in the file did it actually say that the PAK _itself_ caused the ten minute timer to start...

"Computer," Dib said as he made his way over to one of the other work tables in the room; it had a soft surface as opposed to the metal table where he'd been working on the PAK. "Lay Zim face-down over here so I can check something. And don't just throw him down this time!"

The computer grumbled irritably but ultimately complied, reaching a metal claw into Zim’s healing pod and pulling him out. Once he was laid face down on the table, Dib lifted up his Irken uniform shirt and inspected his back carefully. The two circular ports where the PAK would connect were there, one in both his upper and lower back. Dib brought his chair over and sat down, staring at the ports. They seemed to dig deep inside his body.

Maybe... Maybe...!

"Hey computer!" Dib said as enthusiasm began to surge through his system. "Can you scan Zim? Are there any programs still running inside his _body_?"

"Ugh, I don't know," the computer whined but complied with the scan request nonetheless. A red light began slowly moving up and down the table, taking longer as it passed over Zim's back. Once it had done this a few times the scanner shut off, and the results were announced. "Yeah, there's something in the very bottom of his ports. I dunno what it is though. You'll have to deal with it yourself, I'm _not_ touching it."

"Then bring me a flashlight!" Dib held his hand out, his eyes wide and his heart racing in his chest as the computer complied again with another heavy sigh.

As Dib shone the provided light down into the bottom port, what he found was completely astounding. The internal mechanics of the PAK’s connectors were _fantastically_ complex! But as much as he wanted to study the inner workings of Zim's body for hours and hours, he needed to prioritize finding the cause of his unconsciousness first.

Dib found himself nodding off unintentionally and had to shake his head to get himself together. He was just so tired, but there was no time for sleep! For all he knew Zim was actually dying and every second counted! There was no way to know with the little knowledge he had! He'd accomplished so little after so much time… He couldn't waste the only lead he'd found!

With new inspiration at hand, Dib settled in for a long night of investigation.

********************

Tak hissed as four irken guards shoved her down into a chair beside a large table. She was inside of a stark white interrogation room that was brightly lit, which contrasted harshly with the pitch black dungeon cell she'd been locked up in for the last several days. Her eyes shifted between each of the guards beside her as they glanced back, everyone equally paranoid.

Suddenly the door opened and someone stepped inside with them. Tak expected another interrogator to greet her, but what she found was a well dressed Irken turning around to shut and lock the door behind himself.

" _Blin_ ," she verbally spat and glared with all the seething hatred she could muster, which was quite a lot after everything she'd been put through. Even after so many days of torture, she _still_ had no idea where she was! And it was all over what, her old ship?!

Blin sat down in the chair opposite her. "Tak," he said idly as he pulled an electronic tablet out of his pocket and began reading over it. "So far your alibi has been consistent. Sadly your records show that you _failed_ to deal with Zim years ago." Blin glanced up at her condescendingly before looking back down at his device. "Because of that you were forced to abandon your ship on Earth. That matches up with your insistence that you had nothing to do with this incident, so the Third Control Brain has decided to trust you."

Tak wanted nothing more than to flip the table forwards and crush Blin beneath it. However, she found that she wanted to be released from this horrible place just a _bit_ more. "Well then what do you _want_?" she managed to grit out.

"I want what _everyone_ in the Empire wants - to kill Zim," Blin answered and snapped his fingers, a large monitor descending from the ceiling as the guards laughed in obvious agreement. Tak looked up at the screen to find a video of Zim and Dib running through a large facility. It ultimately lead to Zim crashing into a storage room while Dib was burned by gas on the floor behind him. However, none of that caught her attention anywhere near as much as the hideous brain-creature in the background, or the hundreds of Irkens chained to the walls.

With a small remote, Blin skipped the video ahead to Zim pulling a suffering Dib out of the gas-filled room before pausing it. "Now, I've met a good number of Defects before," he sighed. "But I'd say that's about as bad as it gets. Emotional outbursts are incriminating enough, but saving an alien at the same time? Nothing could be worse."

"Is that the place my ship was found?" Tak asked as she squinted at the screen, trying to see if those really _were_ Irkens back there. "And Zim's been stupid for years, that's not new... But what kind of place _is_ that?! And what is that _horrible_ bain-creature?!"

Blin stood up and began walking slowly around the table with his hands behind his back. "As you can see, this video can't be used against Zim publicly. Even if we altered the background to appear less... questionable, it wouldn't be enough to convince The First. You know what happened during Zim's Trial..." Blin hissed angrily at the memory. "We simply need more evidence."

"You didn't answer my questions!" Tak exclaimed and stood up, but was immediately forced back down into her seat by the guards at her sides.

"I assume you mean the Irkens on the walls?" Blin glanced up at the paused screen as Tak angrily shrugged away from the guards. "Those are Defective irkens. That facility is used for experimental testing and they are the subjects. The _brain-creature_ , as you so put it, is _The Third Control Brain_. So I suggest you watch your mouth."

"That's...!" Tak trailed off, somehow feeling more confused than before.

"That's _extremely_ classified information," Blin crossed his arms and turned back to look at her. "So I hope you realize the delicate position you're in now. You don't have the clearance to know any of this. However..." Blin sat back down in his chair and slid the tablet over to her. "You've fought them both before. Your knowledge could be useful, so the Third has decided to offer you a rare proposition."

Tak was quiet as she stared down at what appeared to be secret-mission details. She found herself both excited and suspicious of all this, as well as highly annoyed. This had nothing to do with her!

"You're on thin ice," Blin seemed to sense her hesitation. "You lost to _Zim_ , the biggest Defect to ever plague the Empire. Your name is shamed, and Irkens have laughed at you in passing ever since. So I'm _sure_ you wouldn't pass up on this opportunity to redeem yourself. Of course…" Blin trailed off, clearly getting to the catch now. "If you fail, you'll be made Defective."

"What?!" Tak exclaimed with wide, furious eyes. "Why would I _ever_ agree to this if-?!"

" _But!_ " Blin raised his voice over hers. "If you _succeed_ , then you'll be promoted all the way up to an Enforcer, which is the rank of the Control Brains' personal bodyguards. They learn all of the Empire's secrets and outrank even the Tallest. Becoming one is the highest honor any Irken can receive."

Tak found herself laughing and rolling her eyes at the ridiculousness of all this. "Yeah, okay. And what is this _mission_ you're offering me?"

"Rev was one of our best Enforcers," Blin explained. "He immediately followed Zim back to Earth after the incident, but he hasn't contacted us since he landed. It's unlikely that Zim would have defeated him, but if he's receiving help from that human then it's hard to say. You know where both of them live, so we need you to go to Earth and find out what happened."

"Why don't you just _kill him_?!" Tak exclaimed. "If he's _dead_ then wouldn't that solve everyone's problems? I've already tried! He's _insane_! He just needs to be _nuked_ or something!"

"As I've already said," Blin explained condescendingly. "The First _worships_ Zim. It won't approve of him being killed, so we have to do this _quietly_. Anyone who attacks him too soon will just be labeled Defective by The First. Rev knew the dangers when he was asked to investigate this. He wouldn't have attacked Zim unless he felt he had secured enough evidence against him. You're simply being asked to get enough evidence against Zim to convince The First that-"

"Why should I believe any of this _garbage!_?" Tak yelled,  throwing her hands up in disbelief. This was completely _ridiculous_! Did Blin take her for a fool?! "Do you actually expect me to believe these stories about _secret political power_ , and _secret missions_ , and-!"

"No, I don't," Blin cut her off and looked over at the guards, making a quick motion with his head. One of them walked over to the wall behind the monitor and pressed a button that Tak hadn't seen before. Suddenly that same wall began to rise, and soon enough Tak found herself looking into the very Defect facility that she'd seen in the video.

Chained and unconscious Irkens lined the walls before her, and the hideous Brain creature was standing amongst them. Tak gasped and leapt to her feet, horrified at the realization of where she had been all this time. However, before she could make any attempt at escaping, she was grabbed and held back by the guards yet again.

"Let me make this decision easier for you," Blin said as he stood up and motioned toward the room beyond, where the massive Brain had turned around to look at them. "You can accept the mission we're offering you, _or_ you can stay here. Forever."

Tak stared around herself as the guards pushed her further into the room. Once she was fully inside and it was quite clear that this wasn't an illusion, she realized that perhaps Blin _wasn't_ lying. This was _real_ , wasn't it? "Who are you?" she asked as she slowly looked back over at him.

"I'm the Lead Enforcer," Blin answered blandly, and then smirked. "Or I'm the Massive's main pilot, depending on who's asking. Someone needs to make sure the Tallest don't learn about this. Not that they'd be smart enough to figure it out, but better safe than sorry."

Tak's head swam as she tried to make sense of all this. Having a sea of comatose Irkens around her definitely wasn't helping. "Those Irkens… are they _alive_?" She finally asked.

"Complete your mission and you'll find out." Blin held the tablet out to her, which she took slowly. "I think your best bet is to kill the human. Zim is clearly attached to him, so he'll likely have an emotional breakdown in response. Even The First can't deny that as Defective behavior. With it convinced, we can finally kill him without consequence."

Tak considered her situation carefully. Saying no would get her killed, or worse, and saying yes meant dealing with Zim again, which she _really_ didn't want to do. But it was her only chance at getting out of this situation. Damn that Blin... If she could make it appear accidental, she would kill him too.

" _Fine_ ," Tak said and angrily shoved the tablet into her pocket. "But I will need a ship! I have no way to get there!"

Blin smirked with satisfaction. "Done."

********************

Zim's eyes opened slowly, his vision blurry and unfocused in the dark room. He tried to recall where he was, but the thick haze over his mind was making it very difficult.

Adjusting his limbs wasn't easy as the feeling of pins and needles crawled up his skin. He cringed and tried moving his head instead, which turned out to be just as painful. In the end he sighed and glanced over at the far corner where two large, glowing pods sat against the wall. As the only sources of light, they drew his attention easily. Eventually he recognized them for what they were; two empty stasis pods that were filled with healing gel. Well, one of them was empty, anyways. The other pod...

Zim's eyes shot open, his vision focusing on Rev's form floating inside the tube. The battle in his house came back in seconds, his head swimming with disorientation as his vision tunneled in on his enemy.

He rolled over in a panic and tried to sit up, gasping when he felt no pressure against his back where his PAK should have been. He tried to get off the table too quickly, causing it to tip over and crash loudly to the floor. After untangling himself from the mess, he desperately felt his back, not even bothering to stand up. A whimper escaped his throat when all he felt was smooth skin and two empty metal ports, his PAK nowhere to be found.

His breathing quickened as he scooted backwards against a wall and shook from head to toe. It was difficult to find a weapon in the dark while hyperventilating, but Zim was scared and desperate enough to try anyway. No way was he going to be killed when he could move again!

Suddenly the lights flicked on before he could find anything of use. The brightness blinded him and he covered his face with one hand, while still trying to find something to use as protection with the other.

"... alm down!" a familiar voice pleaded from somewhere nearby.

Zim felt his hand curl around something solid - a screwdriver? It didn't matter what it was! " _Get away from me_!" he shouted and clutched the makeshift weapon with shaking hands. His voice cracked as he leapt to his feet. "You will have _no one_ for your disgusting experiments! _You will be destroyed first_!"

"I'm not gonna hurt you!" the voice tried again as their body started to come into focus through the dizzy haze. "It's okay! Rev's in stasis, he can't get you!"

Once Zim's vision had finally adjusted to the light, he found Dib standing in front of him with his hands up in surrender. The human looked awful... His hair was a wreck, his eyes had dark circles around them, his jacket was in a heap on the floor, and his skin was paler than normal, causing him to seem a bit sickly. Even his yellow BigFoot shirt was a wrinkled mess.

For a moment Zim lowered the screwdriver. He glanced over at a nearby table where his PAK was, with its panels all opened up and ready to be worked on. It was then that it really hit him - _he wasn't wearing his PAK_. There was no timer ticking his life away, nothing making him weak...

His memories came back with more detail when he recognized Gir's body parts on another table against the farthest wall. He remembered the purge and the facility. He remembered his hysteria before passing out, and what Gir had done to protect him. Worst of all, he remembered the things he'd said to Dib in his delirium. How could he face the human now? He was humiliated! His only hope was to reconnect his PAK!

As Zim marched over to the table, Dib scrambled around and shoved himself in between. "Wait!" Dib threw his arms out to either side. "Don't put it on yet! It's not safe!"

"Move!" Zim ordered and glared furiously as he tried to keep the fear out of his voice. "I need it!"

"Listen to me!" Dib pleaded, though his voice remained firm and he didn't budge. "It's _bad_ to put it on right now! Just let me explain what I found in the facility and you'll-"

" _Get out of the way!_ " Zim shouted and dropped the screwdriver so he could shove the human aside. Dib had been ready for such a reaction though, bending his knees and managing to plant his feet firmly onto the floor to hold his ground. Zim pushed with all his might, but all he managed to do was slide Dib back a few inches, pushing the table along with him.

Zim tried to dash to the left around Dib, but the human once again forced himself in between Zim and the table, jabbing the sharp metal corner into his back in the process. Dib winced but stood with a fierce determination.

"Why are you doing this?!" Zim yelled and felt his desperation double. "You horrible _liar_! You promised you'd fix my PAK, not _mutilate_ me! You _promised_! _I trusted you_!" Zim had to force air into his lungs as he began hyperventilating again. These horrible emotions were too much! They had to be stopped, _now_! His PAK could put an end to this, but he was too weak in his current state to fight with Dib!

Zim backed away and held his head, his thoughts spewing out of his mouth before he could filter them. "I've said such _weak_ things! I can't control myself without my PAK! I need to be in control!" His arms were shaking against his will. "T-Turn it off! Make it stop! My PAK will fix this! It will... It will...!" He cringed and turned away, too horrified to let Dib see him anymore. "Get away from me! _Just go_!"

It was hard to breathe as he desperately tried to figure out what he was feeling. There were so many strange emotions and he didn't know how to deal with any of them.

"Zim..." Dib spoke softly as he stood beside him, his voice a lot more soothing than Zim cared to admit. "I know you're confused, but if you put it back on now they'll be able to control you again. You don't want that, right? They have no power over you right now. They can't record your memories or link up to your PAK. They can't see you. They can't do _anything_ to you."

Dib paused for a moment, but when Zim didn't make any effort to respond, he continued. "Zim, I _didn't_ lie to you! I'll fix your PAK but I need you to trust me first."

Zim took a deep breath. Calm down... He just needed to _calm down_ … Was Dib telling the truth that no one could see him breaking down like this, even if they linked up to him? He wanted to believe that more than just about anything, but...

"You see these?" Dib held something out, and Zim felt his curiosity get the better of him as he looked up to see what it was. In Dib's hand was a small glass vial with two tiny, metal data chips clattering around at the bottom. "I took them out of the ports in your back. They inject a really strong poison into you if your PAK cables aren’t connected. But now that they’re out, the effects have been wearing off and that’s why you’re awake. I'm trying really hard to find the other stuff, too."

Zim stared at the chips for a while, trying to piece together what Dib had just said. He finally felt calmer now that he had something else to focus on, so he reached out for the vial. Dib handed it to him immediately. So these tiny things were what made him pass out? But how?

"What other things?" Zim asked, even though a large part of him was scared to find out.

"I..." Dib trailed off and looked away for a moment. "Look, you've been through alot. Right now you just need to rest, and then after that I'll explain what-"

" _Dib_ ," Zim's voice was stern as he cut him off. " _What other things?_ "

Dib paused for a moment, seeming to consider how to respond. Eventually he sighed and dug his cell phone out of his pocket. "It's better if you read it yourself."

Zim took the phone and looked down at the screen, a file displaying what appeared to be ' _Classified PAK Features_ '. This was surely what Dib had taken from the facility. He really, _really_ didn't want to read it, but as was always the case for Zim, his curiosity was just a bit stronger than his concerns. His hand was shaking, but he forced it to hold onto the phone firmly - he needed to know!

He quickly began to feel numb as his eyes scanned over the file, though not in the way that he was used to. It was more mental than physical, as though the emotions that had just plagued him were finally shutting off altogether. It wasn't anywhere near as relieving as he'd hoped it would be.

Once he finished reading, he let his arm hang down limply at his side as he stared at the floor. His momentary distraction had been shattered by the conflicting voices in his head. He didn't want to believe this… He loved and respected his Empire, especially his Tallest. Just like every other Irken, he would fight to the bitter end for them if necessary. So how could he possibly believe that the fierce loyalty he felt for them wasn't real?

However, there was nothing he despised more than being lied to, and not even his beloved Tallest were exempt from that. Maybe it was because everyone lied to him. He was surrounded by it from all sides, which made him so paranoid that he lied back in retaliation. And now again, just like so many other times in the past, he was faced with being lied to - either by Dib, who could have created this file as a trick, or by the Empire, in the case that it was true.

There was a new sort of sickness simmering within his stomach as feelings of deep loyalty mixed with a boiling betrayal. He knew that Dib was not the liar here. In fact, he must have severely malnourished himself to be in the condition that he was in.

Just how long had it been? Zim knew there were some Irken snacks in his base that Dib could have eaten, and the computer could have created artificial water if needed, but neither would have been enough to keep the human healthy. There were no resting quarters either, so where had he slept?

Zim felt stupid, but more than that he felt guilty. He had immediately lashed out at Dib when all he'd tried to do was help. Zim was awake without his PAK, possibly free in a way that he'd never thought was possible, and all he could do was hurt Dib. In fact, Dib had gone so far as to keep his original promise from years ago. The police would have surely taken him somewhere to be cut open and experimented on, but because of Dib that hadn't happened.

He needed to thank Dib. It made him sick to consider it, because giving thanks was lowly and weak. _No Irken thanked an alien, ever_ \- so demanded the Empire. The _lying_ Empire.

He took a deep breath and tried to speak his appreciation, but the words caught in his throat as years of emotional guards flew up. He immediately tried again, but reached the same outcome. Zim looked down at the floor in shame.

Zim had never felt a guilt quite like this before. He'd truly believed deep down in his heart that he was important to his people. They just didn't understand him, that was all! He just needed to prove himself!

He had been so naive and stupid... Zim felt tears in his eyes as the emotions came charging back stronger than ever. There was no way he was going to be able to hold it back this time, so instead he dropped Dib's phone to the floor and covered his face with his now-free hand to try and physically stifle the sobs. His body shook as a terrible pain filled his chest.

"Zim?" Dib's voice was quiet and sad as he reached down to pick up his phone and then stand back up. "I'm sorry… I showed you that stuff too soon. I should have-"

In an effort to silence the human and to try and thank him in the only way he could manage, Zim stepped forward and wrapped his arms around him in a tight hug. Immediately Dib gasped and took a step backward. At first Zim thought he'd done the wrong thing, but Dib quickly returned the gesture and stood still, apparently realizing the misunderstanding.

There were times in the past where Zim had tried to initiate a hug like this: the robot arm that had hatched him at birth, the Tallest, other Irkens, even aliens if he was being honest with himself… But every time he'd been shoved away in disgust and left with an empty rejection. He greatly enjoyed the comfort of hugs, but he also feared the backlash they produced.

Zim had no idea how to respond to his own action. His thoughts were left as frozen as his body. He'd been the one to initiate this, but now he just felt confused and awkward. What had he even wanted? He really wasn't sure, but he definitely didn't want to pull away and give Dib the wrong impression. So Zim let his arms rest on the human's lower back, even though he was once again afraid of being rejected.

When that rejection didn't come however, Zim felt the emotions returning. His eyes were blurry with tears and his body was shaking again. Something was different this time though. The hug was warm and soothing, and things didn't feel as scary with Dib there.

"It’s okay to cry, you know. It's normal." Dib's words were simple yet powerful for Zim. He let his face bury into Dib's shoulder as the sobs came back. He had no idea what he was even crying about anymore, but he desperately needed to release some of these horrible emotions.

Dib tightened his hold reassuringly for a moment. Although Zim wasn't entirely sure if that was why the human had done it, he returned the action anyway. He didn't want to ruin the only hug that had ever been reciprocated.

Eventually Zim had cried out all that he could and was quieting down. He felt a wave of relief wash over him and he took a deep breath.

"We'll figure this all out somehow," Dib said quietly. "I've never had any friends before though… So I have no idea how to cheer someone else up, let alone an alien. Sorry if I suck at it."

Zim shook his head and finally stepped away from the warmth, feeling much better now. "You are truthful to me when everyone else lies."

At first Dib seemed unsure of how to respond, but after a moment he smiled. However, his body swayed to the side before he could say anything. He caught the table quickly enough, but his severe lack of sleep was becoming quite obvious.

"We need to get you home," Zim decided to focus his attention on the change of events instead of the turmoil in his head, at least for now.

"It's late, so the police are gone for the night," Dib sighed and rubbed at his eyes tiredly. "But we can't leave Rev alone. Even in stasis he's too dangerous, but I'm afraid that killing him would alert the Empire somehow. They might know if his vitals go flat or something."

"Computer," Zim walked over to the control panel and brought up a map of the city. "Find me a secure location to relocate the base. The assassins surely know where I live now, so-" Zim suddenly gripped at the console and closed his eyes. Nausea crawled up his throat and his eyes teared up again. Traitors... Liars... Horrible filthy _liars_! He'd trusted them! What else wasn't true? Had the Tallest known of all this? What else had he been forced to think?! "S-So..." Zim tried to continue with a fierce shake of his head. _Focus_! "So I need to move."

"Can you put your base under my house?" Dib kept the subject on the matter at hand, seeming to have caught Zim's emotional stuttering.

"Eh?" Zim thought about the question for a moment, thankful for the new distraction. "That is possible, yes. You..." He frowned a bit and turned to look at him, finally realizing what Dib had actually said. "You would _want_ that?"

Dib thought for a moment before answering. "They're clearly after us both, so it makes sense to work together. We could do a lot more with both of our security systems in one place. You would have to agree to a truce though, and I'd need to get Gaz's permission first."

"What are your terms for this truce?" Zim asked, forcefully ignoring the other toxic thoughts that were floating around in his head.

Dib's response came immediately, "Just that we put our fighting on hold and work together until this is over. Don't attack me or my family, and let me fix your PAK before you reattach it. I'll make sure no one bothers you or sells you out in exchange. It would be a lot easier if you gave me clearance to your base though, even if it's just a few rooms or something."

"Your proposal…" Zim trailed off, knowing that he should refuse simply on principle alone. At the same time though, he really couldn't deny the truth in Dib's words - it _would_ be much easier to deal with their situation if their strengths were combined. Especially if he really couldn't be monitored by anyone. "Your proposal is acceptable."

"Wait… Really?!" Dib's eyes widened in surprise.

Zim understood the human's apparent assumption that he'd refuse. A merging of base's was dangerous for both of them because betrayal would be so much easier. Their sensitive secrets and weaponry would be quickly accessible, so for all intents and purposes this was a stupid arrangement. He was honestly more surprised by the fact that Dib didn't seem nervous at all. In fact...

"Why would you risk this?" Zim asked suspiciously. "You know how vulnerable this will make you. I could agree to not harm your sibling and then treacherously destroy her, or discover where your parental-unit works and blow up his lab. I could smash your research, burn your house, kill you in your sleep... I could do anything a lot more easily in such a position."

"I know," Dib admitted with a sigh. "But if you promise that you won't, then I'll trust you."

Zim was quiet for a moment. After everything he'd been through lately, these promises provided a very cherished and appreciated sense of security. "Okay," Zim held his hand out to initiate the human ritual that would signify his agreement, even if primitive and stupid as far as he was concerned.

Dib smiled and took the offered hand with a strange amount of enthusiasm.

"The stasis pods can hover over the ground," Zim said and looked over at Rev, shifting the subject back over to the real issue. "We will just have to push it to your house and hope that no ugly humans notice us along the way. If they do then I'll just wipe their brains or something."

"You are _not_ wiping their brains!" Dib exclaimed, clearly still awake enough to ruin Zim's plans. "We're not destroying them, or capturing them, or drowning them, or anything harmful!"

"... Incineration?" Zim suggested after a moment, not having heard that refusal yet.

" _Zim!_ " Dib snapped loudly and glared.

"Agh, you're _impossible_!" Zim threw his arms up angrily. That damned, overly protective, goody little human was so hard to work with! How was one supposed to destroy their enemies if they couldn't _destroy them_?! " _Fine_! If someone sees us I will erase their memories of one hour prior. It's _disgustingly safe_. But if they attack me then I'm _annihilating_ them! Are you happy?!"

"Yes," Dib smiled, all anger apparently gone. As annoying as it was, Zim couldn't help feeling a bit relieved. He was still upset about the situation with his PAK, and he was certainly still worried about the future, but he was also starting to feel a bit more like himself. Arguing with Dib had helped a lot.

As Zim put on his disguise and prepared Rev's pod to be transported out of the base, the two of them fell into an unusually comfortable silence. The pod was way too big to fit in Dib’s car, which was still parked down the street, leaving walking as the only option. Getting it outside was easy enough with the computer's less-than-cooperative assistance, so the real challenge would be keeping a low profile along the way. Zim only hoped that the cover of night would keep them hidden.

The moment they stepped through the house's broken doorway, Zim felt the fresh air wash over him. His skin tingled as he pushed the hovering tube down the steps and along the walkway. The computer appeared to have done as instructed, the base folding back up into the drill he'd created it with.

Zim frowned a bit. Everything smelled the same, but the feeling of the night air on his skin sent chills all over his body. It might have been refreshing if it weren't so cold! His PAK had always regulated his body temperature so that he would be comfortable in all but the most extreme conditions. Without it he was left shivering outside like a weakling!

A glare fell over Zim's face as he reached down to pick up the remains of his base and stuff it into his pocket, nothing but a crater left where the house had once been. His teeth immediately began clattering in his mouth against his will. Was his treacherous body trying to give him away?!

Zim was surprised by a sudden warmth around his shoulders. Whipping around, he found that Dib was no longer wearing his coat. Zim was about to instinctively give it back, until he realized just _how_ warm the jacket was. After another moment or two of contemplation, Zim slipped his arms into the long sleeves and decided that he would accept the human’s offering, or whatever it was supposed to be.

Once again they walked in silence, though it still felt comfortable between them. Was this what being allies was like? Even the few times that Zim had agreed to work with someone in the past, it had still been against his will. He knew why this agreement with Dib was important, but it still didn't feel natural.

Zim kept a close eye on the exhausted human, who kept stumbling over his own feet. After a few more near-falls, Zim knelt down and hoisted Dib up onto his back without warning. He hooked his arms under the human's knees to keep him steady as Dib yelped and grabbed his shoulders. Dib seemed quite confused and flustered by the sudden action, though much too tired to actually protest.

Within a few minutes the human was nodding off against him. Zim could feel Dib's grip around his neck loosening more and more, and was eventually forced to shake him a bit to wake him up. Dib would have likely fallen backward onto the cement otherwise.

Gah… Zim had no idea if he was doing the right thing or not. _Allies_ … What did that even mean, really? It wasn't a concept that Irkens understood. An 'ally' was just a lie given to an enemy to make betrayal easier. The Vortians were a great example - once allies to the Empire but ultimately conquered and enslaved just like everyone else.

He vaguely understood how Dib was perceiving this new arrangement, having spent so much time around humans. Trying to do something so backward as making an _actual_ ally was making him feel awkward and nervous. His instincts yelled at him to destroy Dib while he was this weak, while his mind berated him for even considering it. Why was there no instruction manual for this?!

"I’m happy…" Dib whispered, though mostly to himself from the sounds of it. "I thought I failed… But I did it…"

Zim felt the guilt return instantly. He gave a short hum in response for lack of better words, and Dib didn't say anything else after that.

They reached the Membrane household quickly enough, Zim having kicked Rev's hovering pod along the sidewalk for most of the way. He left Rev in the yard and then climbed the porch steps, setting Dib down next to the door. The boy was in the deepest sleep Zim had ever seen. He really didn't want to wake him up, but he _really_ didn't want to deal with the Gaz-monster on his own either...

Ultimately Zim rang the doorbell, deciding that while the female was certainly terrifying, there was no way that she would be too much for him to handle. However, the moment the door flew open and a furious set of eyes met his, Zim immediately regretted his decision.

Gaz stepped out onto the porch in her sleep-uniform, glaring at him with clenched fists. Zim's chest tightened with fear. She seemed ready to shout something at him until her eyes moved toward the hovering stasis tube, and then down at Dib beside her feet. She blinked a few times, though Zim didn't get a chance to relax before she was rounding on him again.

"Oh _now_ what?!" she seethed and took an angry step forward. "So beating the crap out of Dib wasn't enough, was it? Now you're dumping him on the porch for me to deal with?!"

"I didn't!" Zim looked around for an escape, his resolve already broken. Curse his weakness, he was better than this! "The Rev injured him!"

"The _hell_ does that mean?!" Gaz demanded, her voice echoing down the street.

"Him!" Zim pointed repeatedly over at Rev's tube and then lowered his voice to a desperate hiss. "Stop yelling or someone will hear us!"

"Like anyone cares!" Gaz shouted and then rolled her eyes with a sigh, seeming to calm down finally. "I've been yelling at my video games late at night my entire life." Gaz suddenly looked back down at her pitiful brother. "He left a _huge_ mess back here for me to clean up and it _really_ pissed me off! And of course he was yelling some crap about ' _Zim, Zim, Zim_ ' as _always_!"

"Eh…" Zim trailed off, unsure how to reply to that. "We were attacked. Dib said I could stay here to lie low for a while in case… someone else..." Zim found his words falling short as Gaz's expression filled with wrath once again.

"He said _what_?!" she snapped viciously.

"We were to both ask your permission first!" Zim quickly added. "But he is asleep, so-"

"He _actually_ thought I would be okay with the two of you living under the same roof as me, _at the same time_?!" Gaz asked incredulously. "I'm supposed to just deal with the two of you fighting endlessly while I'm trying to work?!" Suddenly she burst into laughter. "That has to be the _dumbest_ thing he's ever thought of, and he raised zombies out of our front yard once!"

"We agreed not to fight while I'm here!" Zim said and shivered at the thought of zombies swarming the house, but quickly shook his head. He crossed his arms over his chest to try and get his courage back up. Gaz was just a human! He needed to get it together! "It's just a temporary measure. If your answer is no then I will leave. I have brought Dib home to recover, so my job is done."

"You willingly helped him?" Gaz asked in a voice that Zim couldn't quite place. It was as though she was evaluating him carefully. Was she pleased that he had brought Dib back home, or was there something else more sinister? "Interesting…" She tapped her chin in thought before smirking in a way that Zim didn't like at all. "Alright, but only on one condition."

"Speak your demands, female!" Zim steeled himself. He was prepared for anything!

"He moves in with you afterward."

" _What_?!" Zim gasped in shock and doubled back before he could stop himself. He hadn't heard that right… He _couldn't_ have!

"Oh, you heard me," Gaz’s voice was low as she confirmed Zim's fears and stalked forward. Zim had to take a few steps down the porch to properly avoid her. "If I'm going to have to deal with _both_ of you weirdos living with me then he's moving in with _you_ after! I am _so sick_ of him coming back here because he can't pay his rent! Oh, I could just _rip his throat out_ by now!"

Zim didn't dare interrupt her, afraid that she might try to rip _his_ throat out instead.

"You realize that it's four o'clock in the _fucking_ morning?!" Gaz verbally spat. "And what do you know, Dib got himself in trouble, _again_. I have someone waking me up in the middle of the _fucking_ night because of Dib's bullshit, _again_. Just the same shit over and over, _again!_ "

Zim reached the bottom of the stairs and retreated over to the grass. He looked over at Dib in a desperate hope that he might have woken up from his sister's commotion, but there appeared to be no such luck in place for him.

"Well?!" the female demanded and pointed at the front door. "Are you coming inside or _what_?!"

Zim swallowed and obeyed silently, not taking any chances. Apparently he'd just agreed to her terms without actually stating so… The Gaz-monster was much smarter and far more sinister than he'd given her credit for.


End file.
